So I feareth this time,
after countless unscathed elusions,
thou shalt be hit in the bullseye of thine instability.
And life shall cease to be what it hath been for thee;
naught shall ever betide the same nor semblance remain.
Thou shalt be thrown from comfort to discomfort,
from known to unknown—order to chaos.
Thou mayest advance henceforth with heroic stride.
Hitherto ameliorate thy flawed character and excess pride.
Or thou mayest sink fathoms beneath the ocean’s floor,
albatross bound to mangled tongue, too bitter to implore.
Didst thou not know?
That no wight be impervious to misfortune?
And so despair?
Giveth thyself a mote of credit Mine untried son,
thou hast always known.
Thou art a child no more.
Void is thy license to lie about thy back on spring days,
heedless of thy wristwatch, harkening to wind-chimes,
daydreaming—building castles on dense blue firmament,
cogitating the phenomenon of mind, body, and soul.
I hath been with thee for eternity.
Watching, waiting.
So dearly proud of thee.
Thou art of distinct variety.
Thou canst see what others canst not see.
And for that, thou art held to greater scrutiny.
Mar 31, 2018
Mar 31, 2018 at 3:08 AM UTC
Cold burns the beauty from the scape
and buries the breath of God;
still waters collect death yet still thrive wild.
You sit there,
mountain basin as your chair,
picturesque—a wilted flower in your hair.
Nineteen burned away
like deadwood from an ancient grove,
still partly due to the paternity of your tyrant
and the benevolence of your father.
I can only admire for so long, before
I cannot bare desistance from your glow,
the heat from the center of your being, the cold
from the ice-capped genius of your conscious.
Tomorrow seems as a promise and so it may be true,
the opportunity to begin anew and labor on
the next step forward in tragic existence, leading beyond
to tragic finality; heavy breath and pounding heart,
awakened to foresight, a gift from the woeful ****
of knowledge learned to the entropy of physiology—
within a mote of hope reaps meaning from ontology.
As once the Earth, chaotic and unfeigned
tamed thus through speech of blossomed order,
gave rise to rival ebb and flow; yin and yang
unbeknownst, pervade each other's border.
And thou resist this myth of sagacity,
yet act the role of honest ancient heroes
to refrain thy rest from saltwater depths,
quelling cowards, liars, and unwise youth,
punished in life and thereafter, still—
cold burns not the beauty of the truth.
Oct 2, 2017
Oct 2, 2017 at 1:30 AM UTC
Desire has a nuanced way
Of rearing its ugly head
Disguised in a pretty red wig
A cinnamon girl, a wild mare
Racing a hot summers night
And I, a king of trash, lost
Deep in the ocean of vulnerability
That glimmers behind your eyes
Sinking, swimming, submerged
It's hard to stay afloat
When you're ten feet above water
And you can't breathe
When your lungs are full of lust
But maybe just for tonight
Among the places we've drank
The cars taking us here to there
The cigarettes, tequila, and drugs
The warming sensations
The stupid decisions
The too close conversations
A longing gaze, a hand on thigh
Your beauty closes in on mine
And our lips would touch
Igniting a flame, burning me
Embers to ashes, dust to pain
For we'd only exist this night
A memory in the making
A heart of broken shame
A possibility too perfect
The product of fantasy
Something I'd wish for
But never come to fruition
Intuition screaming at me
*Don't kiss the girl
Leave before you **** yourself up*
And in comes the reaper
Here to collect my debt
Of too much ingested
I feel sick, losing control
Get me the hell out of here
I want to go home.
Jun 5, 2016
Jun 5, 2016 at 10:36 PM UTC
I’ve seen the leaves change color
And die and live again
My love for the past
Swinging in front of me
Like a piñata—
But I cannot hit it
For my will is undone
Too many soft curves
Too many easy *****
I miss yesterday
Like I miss the tomb of your bed
Golden retrospection
Contrite inner-reflection
Soon you’ll be old and
I’ll be old and
Who’ll know how hard life was
In these olden days
Tense as death
Before saying I love you
On a starry night
As the ball dropped
And firecrackers popped
Our cups of champagne
Warm and empty
Our hearts filled
With gaiety and envy
Apr 4, 2016
Apr 4, 2016 at 11:49 AM UTC
Sit in stillness
Allow the unrest
Of idleness
Contour the shape
Of nonentity
Soon you’ll hear
A loud ringing
Within your ear
The same noise
Howling staunch
Before you sleep
The same sound blaring
As the world stagnates
And time loiters
And sorrow seeps up from the rug
I don’t think you realize
You will never see him again
As long as you live
For now he is a tall tale
Retold to offspring
A distant memory
A mythic architect
Nothing in the past has ever occurred
There is only now
And now
There is only the wind
And the world moves on
And time resumes clockwise
And his ashes are spread about the sea
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 3, 2016 at 7:40 PM UTC
broken apart
devolved to
bits and pieces,
mere shards of who
I once was; we are never
the same as we were
before—each day steals
from and gives to us
pieces of ourselves,
and by now I
know the day steals
more from me
than it gives,
and soon I'll have
eroded completely,
incandescently sifting
away in the starlit
scenery of old
times and fond
thoughts.
Dec 10, 2014
Dec 10, 2014 at 11:03 PM UTC
rolled over
past the entry of sunlight
no spark of lust
receded back to base
like an animal
nothing to gain
no one to concede
quietly suffering
could not go get
could not get up,
the burn
was painless
for I was already jaded,
no lesson to be learned
nothing to be redeemed
just the quiet anticipation
of forthcoming heartbreak
to engender upon
my delicate hands
just the stillness
before the unrest
the calm
before the cry
Dec 8, 2014
Dec 8, 2014 at 12:14 AM UTC