roxy-denoir - Hello Poetry

I like him That's the simple truth Does he know? No. I don't believe he knows- for sure. I've never told him, He's never told me, But I do like him And I think he likes me. I'm not very sure, I don't want to move too fast. I broke my heart once, It was more than enough- And then it was a crush- But this is more. I don't crush on you, I feel free as a bird when around you. I feel like I can fly Free of this world Into the stars And beyond. So I do like you. I don't believe I love you yet. I don't want to love you before it's time. Because who knows? Maybe we are meant to be, maybe we aren't. I don't want to risk hurting you or hurting myself by going to quickly. So whenever you're ready, I'm ready. I'd like to get to know you better and better, before love. I'd like to be best friends, before love. It makes sense to take this slow. Whenever you're ready, I will be. I still have things to learn. I need to learn self respect a little more, I need to learn how to be a little kinder. I need to pray more and be closer to God, Because if my relationship is right with Him, it will be right with you. And if this isn't to be, Since I haven't loved you, It won't hurt. We will still be friends, And maybe I will love someone else. I only like you right now.

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Aug 4, 2014

Aug 4, 2014 at 4:46 PM UTC

roxy-denoir

The Man I Like

I like him That's the simple truth Does he know? No. I don't believe he knows- for sure. I've never told him, He's never told me, But I do like him And I think he likes me. I'm not very sure, I don't want to move too fast. I broke my heart once, It was more than enough- And then it was a crush- But this is more. I don't crush on you, I feel free as a bird when around you. I feel like I can fly Free of this world Into the stars And beyond. So I do like you. I don't believe I love you yet. I don't want to love you before it's time. Because who knows? Maybe we are meant to be, maybe we aren't. I don't want to risk hurting you or hurting myself by going to quickly. So whenever you're ready, I'm ready. I'd like to get to know you better and better, before love. I'd like to be best friends, before love. It makes sense to take this slow. Whenever you're ready, I will be. I still have things to learn. I need to learn self respect a little more, I need to learn how to be a little kinder. I need to pray more and be closer to God, Because if my relationship is right with Him, it will be right with you. And if this isn't to be, Since I haven't loved you, It won't hurt. We will still be friends, And maybe I will love someone else. I only like you right now.

44

Things have happened Things have changed Things have gone on I'm not the same I've been through fire I've been through pain I've been crushed I'm not the same I'm healed How did I get here? It wasn't easy. My pain was at a high when I cut deep Deeper than I ever had And in that moment I realized How easy It would be To die. To DIE. I was scared I prayed for help to heal That was when healing began I tried to resist self inflicted pain But failed countless times I learned to get back up Forgive myself And keep going Days turned into weeks Weeks turned into months With my therapist's help I've been self harm free For about 6 or 7 months I no longer struggle with depression My negativity My anger My hatred My pain- They aren't gone. They just no longer have any hold onto me. I've learned to let go of them.

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Aug 4, 2014

Aug 4, 2014 at 3:59 PM UTC

roxy-denoir

I'm healed

Things have happened Things have changed Things have gone on I'm not the same I've been through fire I've been through pain I've been crushed I'm not the same I'm healed How did I get here? It wasn't easy. My pain was at a high when I cut deep Deeper than I ever had And in that moment I realized How easy It would be To die. To DIE. I was scared I prayed for help to heal That was when healing began I tried to resist self inflicted pain But failed countless times I learned to get back up Forgive myself And keep going Days turned into weeks Weeks turned into months With my therapist's help I've been self harm free For about 6 or 7 months I no longer struggle with depression My negativity My anger My hatred My pain- They aren't gone. They just no longer have any hold onto me. I've learned to let go of them.

39

I try to be positive when I'm alone I really try I try to be happy when I'm home alone I really try I try to be happy when I walk the streets alone I really try I try to be content when I'm online alone I really try I try to ignore the crushing pain all alone I really try I try to eat when I'm all alone I really try I try to love my body when I'm alone I really try I try to keep the tears in when I'm alone I really try I try to keep from cutting since I'm alone I really try I try not to hit my self when I'm alone I really try I try not to call myself ugly names when I'm alone I really try I try to call out to God when I'm alone I really try I try to believe that I'll find love but I'm still alone I really try I try to believe I'm beautiful in the mirror alone I really try I try I try I really Really Try But I Fail Every Time I need help but I can't find the will to seek it I keep telling myself that I don't even need it There's nothing wrong with me I'm .....fine.....

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Oct 18, 2013

Oct 18, 2013 at 10:57 AM UTC

I am a field full of land mines. Normal on the surface Tall grasses Flowers Life But under the dirt and grime Hidden secrets lie And if you touch me the right way Accidental or not One goes off And if one goes off The rest blow up the surface one by one until nothing but ashes are left.

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Oct 16, 2013

Oct 16, 2013 at 9:44 PM UTC

roxy-denoir

Land Mines

I am a field full of land mines. Normal on the surface Tall grasses Flowers Life But under the dirt and grime Hidden secrets lie And if you touch me the right way Accidental or not One goes off And if one goes off The rest blow up the surface one by one until nothing but ashes are left.

12

All I want to do is hide. Hide from the world. I hide the true shape of my body in a large sweater. I hide my face behind my hair. I hide my legs with long pairs of jeans. I hide my shoulders' scars with t shirts. I want to help people, But I run. The only comfort I find Is isolation Silent as death. I run to it in fear. Just needing to hide.

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Oct 16, 2013

Oct 16, 2013 at 9:41 PM UTC

roxy-denoir

Hide

All I want to do is hide. Hide from the world. I hide the true shape of my body in a large sweater. I hide my face behind my hair. I hide my legs with long pairs of jeans. I hide my shoulders' scars with t shirts. I want to help people, But I run. The only comfort I find Is isolation Silent as death. I run to it in fear. Just needing to hide.

13

So many thoughts flying through her head So many habits dying to be fed So many dreams her life could have led If she hadn't cried all alone in her bed. So many things she said with a smile All the while forcing herself in denial Putting her in pain from verdict to trial Walking alone for many a mile. Where this goes no one can see No one knows except only she But still she gives in and pays up the fee Hoping for something she can never be.

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Oct 16, 2013

Oct 16, 2013 at 5:53 PM UTC

roxy-denoir

SHE

So many thoughts flying through her head So many habits dying to be fed So many dreams her life could have led If she hadn't cried all alone in her bed. So many things she said with a smile All the while forcing herself in denial Putting her in pain from verdict to trial Walking alone for many a mile. Where this goes no one can see No one knows except only she But still she gives in and pays up the fee Hoping for something she can never be.

12

At some point you grow numb. At some point it becomes normal to hold it in. At some point you forget how to cry. And you just stand there and don't make a sound.

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Oct 12, 2013

Oct 12, 2013 at 9:49 AM UTC

roxy-denoir

At some point

At some point you grow numb. At some point it becomes normal to hold it in. At some point you forget how to cry. And you just stand there and don't make a sound.

4

Why does this happen? I hate it. How I can go outside and see my friends, Laugh and talk like a human being, And then when I get home, I am a cornered animal that feels starved for something she can't even hope to get. My friends don't know. They don't know how when I come home, Loneliness hits me like a ton of bricks, And I sink into it like quicksand, And I suffocate until I find my blade and distract myself. I write the truth out on my legs in ink, Each adjective true. Fat Loveless Lost Fearful Broken Lonely And more. I wrap my arm in toilet paper and tape it so it stays through the night. It will keep my shirt from staining and showing what I've become. I hate being alone. But it's what I deserve.

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Oct 11, 2013

Oct 11, 2013 at 10:58 PM UTC

roxy-denoir

I hate being alone

Why does this happen? I hate it. How I can go outside and see my friends, Laugh and talk like a human being, And then when I get home, I am a cornered animal that feels starved for something she can't even hope to get. My friends don't know. They don't know how when I come home, Loneliness hits me like a ton of bricks, And I sink into it like quicksand, And I suffocate until I find my blade and distract myself. I write the truth out on my legs in ink, Each adjective true. Fat Loveless Lost Fearful Broken Lonely And more. I wrap my arm in toilet paper and tape it so it stays through the night. It will keep my shirt from staining and showing what I've become. I hate being alone. But it's what I deserve.

23

My body shakes from adrenaline Trying to rid the memories but Reliving each moment in 3D Crying and screaming in horror inside. I don't even want to remember I don't want to write it down But it's the only way to get it out To bring this Nightmare to light The first thing I saw in my dream Was my pale pink walls stained with blood Splattered up to the ceiling beside by bed Someone had been murdered there I ran away in fright from this hell This hell of a lucid dream I ran the hell out of my house And ran into a worse hell than my room Public showers at a public pool One showerhead a flamethrower One showerhead boiling acid Their victims lying there dead Beside the pool were two lovers A man and woman locked in a kiss Frozen dead pale and stiff The woman held a knife in his back I ran away screaming only to come face to face With the family who did all this A psychopathic group set out to **** And I was next on their hit list I ran and ran and ran and ran Running until I was out of breath I kept running though my body failed me I collapsed on the ground and died of heart failure So that is my dream in a nutshell Described as plainly as I can Details avoided the horror unexplained Nothing can be worse than this My Nightmare of a Century The Dream that tested my strength Tested my bravery My will power I may not go to sleep again tonight I may need to write to let it go I may need to eat for comfort And drown my mind in music and schoolwork It doesn't make me less strong It doesn't make me weak It's just how I push through these times When the Dawn comes I'll sing with joy Thank you God for being here for me When no one was online on Facebook To talk to, to ask for prayer, to reach out to Thank you for being 24/7/365 --I hate being alone.

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Aug 14, 2013

Aug 14, 2013 at 2:58 AM UTC

roxy-denoir

Nightmare of the Century

My body shakes from adrenaline Trying to rid the memories but Reliving each moment in 3D Crying and screaming in horror inside. I don't even want to remember I don't want to write it down But it's the only way to get it out To bring this Nightmare to light The first thing I saw in my dream Was my pale pink walls stained with blood Splattered up to the ceiling beside by bed Someone had been murdered there I ran away in fright from this hell This hell of a lucid dream I ran the hell out of my house And ran into a worse hell than my room Public showers at a public pool One showerhead a flamethrower One showerhead boiling acid Their victims lying there dead Beside the pool were two lovers A man and woman locked in a kiss Frozen dead pale and stiff The woman held a knife in his back I ran away screaming only to come face to face With the family who did all this A psychopathic group set out to **** And I was next on their hit list I ran and ran and ran and ran Running until I was out of breath I kept running though my body failed me I collapsed on the ground and died of heart failure So that is my dream in a nutshell Described as plainly as I can Details avoided the horror unexplained Nothing can be worse than this My Nightmare of a Century The Dream that tested my strength Tested my bravery My will power I may not go to sleep again tonight I may need to write to let it go I may need to eat for comfort And drown my mind in music and schoolwork It doesn't make me less strong It doesn't make me weak It's just how I push through these times When the Dawn comes I'll sing with joy Thank you God for being here for me When no one was online on Facebook To talk to, to ask for prayer, to reach out to Thank you for being 24/7/365 --I hate being alone.

52

That time When you are content Happy Warm Sleepy Wrapped up in a soft blanket Holding you tightly in its fuzzy embrace Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. Tomorrow when you wake you'll emerge A beautiful butterfly One of thousands Millions Each different in their own way

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Jul 31, 2013

Jul 31, 2013 at 10:05 PM UTC

roxy-denoir

That time

That time When you are content Happy Warm Sleepy Wrapped up in a soft blanket Holding you tightly in its fuzzy embrace Like a caterpillar in a cocoon. Tomorrow when you wake you'll emerge A beautiful butterfly One of thousands Millions Each different in their own way

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