Sometimes you realize life might not be the best thing for you even when you have so many people there to help you and talk to you and care for you.
And it happens just when everything goes right, you slowly feel it .
You shrug it off “ maybe I’m tired” “maybe I need a mental break.”
Then you realize 3 weeks later when your sitting on the floor holding you favorite stuffed animal that its finally bad.
When you want to carve at your wrist,
when you want to cry and scream or sleep because feeling any sort of emotion is better than feeling lonely.
When you think of every sign that you saw or felt could have stopped you from feeling this
low
Unworthy.
Unworthy of life ,
Of happiness .
Jul 28, 2019
Jul 28, 2019 at 1:15 AM UTC
Fighting Life's Battles
We fight the pain
Of our own
We fight the rain
Of the stones
We fight until our last bone breaks
We fight until the last one cries
We fight until victory we take
We fight until our enemy dies
We will fight on
On until there are none left to fight
We will fight on
Through even the coldest nights
We have fought many battles
But more still await
Many more bones will be rattled
But still, we will stay
As it gets cold
We won't stand alone
We stand bold
Chilled to the bone
As it gets dark
We won't be afraid
We will keep our heart
And stow it away
Out of enemy sight
Our hearts will be
At the highest height
Tall stand we
As it gets hard
We won't give in
We will walk far
Let out bones get thin
As it gets late
We won't sleep
We will keep a steady rate
Let the hills get steep
I won't back down
I won't give in
I will stand proud
I will live
As the sunrises
I wake
To find a deadly fate
I have survived the night
I haven’t been broken
Yes I will live
Apr 28, 2018
Apr 28, 2018 at 4:44 PM UTC
Blood ain't Family
I am sick and tired of trying
all my "blood" ***** me over.
I always use to think to be a family you had to share the same blood. Fuckisasistercuzitsureaintblood
The recent hashtag that she thought would hurt me .
Slowly I started to realize I don’t NEED her
She might be blood but she’s not my family
Mar 7, 2018
Mar 7, 2018 at 4:25 PM UTC
I remember screaming the lyrics to"Don't Stop the Music" out the sunroof like the young,immature child I was.
And getting yelled at right after that because " It was dangerous and I could have killed myself if she had suddenly hit the gas."
I remember thinking nothing bad ever happened in the world.
I remember crying on my neighbor's doorstep because I was ready to give up on everything and my mom said she didn't care what I did.
And crying for an hour straight because she was about to call CPS on my mom , I didn't want my mom to get in trouble.
I remember going from house to house with my mom and sister.
And the day my mom actually left my sister and I to go to Tennessee to "Find Dee and I a better place to live".
And how badly I cried because she said things to me that an 8 year old should never have to hear .
I remember having to grow up fast because I had to take care of myself and make sure I protected my family.
And being mad at my brother because he never had to struggle like I had
And hating everybody because they didn't protect their younger sister, but that was yesterday.
Aug 25, 2017
Aug 25, 2017 at 2:42 AM UTC
Upon bracken soaked hills tears did flow
As memories glide away
The moors they hold a deep silent love
Of hearts now lost to above
How the winds and rain carry on through
The ghosts of yesterday now roam
Betwixt the hollow ground
And shadows of fate now gone
Tis here that silence did fall
And the hand of death slain them all
For the devil he did roam the moors
Beneath the moonlight's shadow
Oh lost spirits cry and wail
Bring us to the resting gate
So we can say our goodbyes
Amongst the wind swept
Fears and lies
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 10:09 AM UTC
Who cries for the little children
When pain and hurt fall upon
The little hearts of purest love
From the hands of the cruel and sick
Who cries for the little children
Locked up and fed a fist
Thrown around the floor like dust
No meals or drink no more
Who cries for the little children
When their voices are so mute
The only thing they know right now
Is life must be extinct
So let them fall into the arms
Of hearts that truly love
In sleep forever they rest now
And tears shall fall no more
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 10:08 AM UTC
I am fake
You see me as a bright bubbley bad girl.
That's what I want you to see.
But to be honest with you I'm scared...
Scared of what you'd think of the real.
The badly damaged ,depressed,suicial me.
The Real Me.
Nobody likes the real me.
I may seem happy but I'm not.
I'm sad.
Trying not to show it.
I put on a smile.
I've been trying to be happy so long.
Everyday's the same.
Everyday I hide THE REAL ME.
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 10:02 AM UTC
Not being able to talk about your own problems while taking on everyone elses just hide your own is depression. Smiling even through the pain. Feeling worthless losing yourself. Living in a body that fights to survive with the mind that tries to die. Broken, useless, pathetic, rejected, lonely is what you mean when you say "I'm fine"
Dec 13, 2016
Dec 13, 2016 at 9:54 AM UTC
I have a RIGHT to be different to be free .
I have a RIGHT to be me.
For me me to be different I'm really just being me
people don't understand that .
people judge me for being me for being myself
what am suppose to do change for them .
the only way I'm changing is if GOD himself
comes and tells me to change.
So for all you bullies and Hippocrates (FUCK OFF)
I"M JUST BEING ME
Apr 3, 2016
Apr 3, 2016 at 9:56 AM UTC