Where mud let us talk
When you cried for our future
What can I say now?
Nov 11, 2020
Nov 11, 2020 at 2:52 AM UTC
Shortness of breath, again
Tightness in chest, again
what's the point of all this stress
when it leads to another panic attack
what's the point of me trying to call you
when my hands just freeze at the screen
Shortness of breath, again
Tightness in chest, again
and again,
and again.
Oct 26, 2020
Oct 26, 2020 at 2:56 PM UTC
It's been a while
Since I've seen your face
But your name finds me every day
I beg and plead to leave you behind
But in my dreams and by name,
you find me every day
It's been a while
And you're a ghost to me
It's been a while
And I still don't know how I feel
Sep 14, 2020
Sep 14, 2020 at 1:03 AM UTC
Life has moments where a blossom presents itself
One can go their whole life looking for that moment
And it would not be a wasted life
Every breath there is a shine of light
That flickers and leaves
That is what we are made of
Life in every breath
This breath can change you
It can carry you
Into a life, not wasted
Apr 24, 2020
Apr 24, 2020 at 9:33 PM UTC
My wings beat against the storm that raged that night
A night that left me lost and without heart to fly
I raged against the theft of my heart
My wings shattered on the rocky slopes of emotion
Now grounded by mistakes of lust and rage
Here I sit alone, again my reckless rage taken hold
Refusing to release my mind from the torment of loss
With time, my wings are almost healed
The rage still stirs, and the winds still strong
I must wait longer before I am free, finally
Of the Rage
Of the Pain
I look up from my hellish world to a sky, blue and full
In my hands are the pages of pain I never sent
The words on them will never find you
Because you never found me
Feb 17, 2020
Feb 17, 2020 at 5:17 PM UTC
We so few
Who tread lightly on this earth
Carry with us our heart and mind
Carried away with the cascade of vision and dream
Brought out by the sun
Wanting only the peaceful murmur of a breeze
The few who tread
Uphill, downhill, or just along the way
Bring with you a story
Of love, hurt, hope...
Make a story that sings of life
Live a life that makes a story
Jan 28, 2020
Jan 28, 2020 at 7:02 PM UTC
The breath spent
Sweat that the soaks the earth and your work
Tell me why the time doesn't stop
So we rush to the next job
So we spend more breath
Waste more sweat
My open book calls me
Relaxing another poem from my mind
Setting my eyes on the next peak
A mountain worth the heaviest breath
The most sweat
A mountain that brushes against the blue sky
A sky barely wide enough to write my whole story
There is a mountain for me
A lone mountain
A cold mountain
Dec 24, 2019
Dec 24, 2019 at 12:37 PM UTC
May this all start anew
Fresh and rested from a Summer of growth
What started a year ago broke me down
Followed by a Fall of fading feelings
A Winter that left me hollowed
Then Spring sprung me from a grave
I did it all alone
Finding who I am
Learning that my fears are weak
Harnessing my true ambition
To fly amongst the clouds, who recognize me
To see above the sun
I'll never forget my year alone
The bottles and the ***
The drugs and the books
The heartbeats in-between
This life is a painting
Only I know the true meaning
My intention with each stroke hidden
And one day it will be finished
Just like this poem
Aug 22, 2019
Aug 22, 2019 at 6:59 PM UTC
Your taste is in my mouth
Burning the back of my throat
Like all the liquor I've been drowning myself in
We both didn't want each other
Each morning waking up with you was another headache
I would would spend the morning in the kitchen
Closer to the bottles
Further from you
It was all perfect at first
Two broken hearts finding something new
But here I am now
No longer broken, but annihilated
We connected so fast
But your connection was toxic
You needed me to save you
But you wanted me carry you
Instead of taking all your weight
I talked you through my heart
That ******* maze of misery
Showing you how to navigate the pain, the lonliness
You wanted validation for your mistakes
I kept hanging around
Wanting to see the improvement
It never showed
There was never a chance for us to blossom
Because my blossom already happened
And my roots were ripped out
You just finally put my in the trash
Now I can see what all this was
My attempts to reclaim some lost love
You were never right for me
I was never right for you
All that time was a waste
Nothing changed
I'm still drinking my heart into a darker hole
Watching blackness take my mind
Waiting for someone
Waiting for my heart to call me back
To the sandy shores of my memory
Where waves of emotion hit me
Each wave reminding me of a better time
This was only year one in a new place
Cheers to a new year with a little less suffering
And a little more love
Aug 7, 2019
Aug 7, 2019 at 3:58 PM UTC
Two months back and I was broken open once again.
I was weak and hungry for it.
Ignorant to the warning signs in front of me.
The pain was instant and numbness settled in.
There were no tears for her,
none for me.
Months prior simply vanished,
and we didn't share a thing.
Attempted to break out of the loneliness that consumed,
only to be shuttered back in.
But in the absolute of dark,
light shines the brightest.
Mar 28, 2019
Mar 28, 2019 at 4:36 PM UTC