Tears fall from my eyes as I awaken,
The reason for my pain, still unshaken.
Each passing moment of the day,
Haunts me with flashes from the fray.
As night descends and darkness reigns,
I find the puzzle pieces in my chains.
My heart shatters, tears apart,
An unbearable weight in my chest, a broken heart.
I question the cause of this deep agony,
And scour the day for any sign of tragedy.
But my dreams reveal the painful truth,
Of emotions kept hidden, long in my youth.
Desire seeps through my very core,
And hope takes hold, a never-ending score.
Some say to let my heart lead the way,
But I know where that road leads, astray.
I push down the longing, the desire,
And pray for a moment's peace, a mere respite.
But the dreams persist, with unrelenting fire,
A visual feast of what could be, in vibrant light.
The passion and yearning within me burn,
As I struggle to keep the flames unturned.
But the heart wants what it wants,
A powerful force that never daunts.
And so I sit, with tears in my eyes,
Haunted by the dreamy haze of my nocturnal ties.
Feb 15, 2023
Feb 15, 2023 at 4:03 PM UTC
Decades of lifeless cold
follow a brief summer
The stage at the end,
practically a walk of shame
Many eyes turn away,
a few painfully blank
A mere shell of a former person,
Deformed by sins and their blame
It's such a miserable thing,
he can't be saved anymore.
He's been swallowed heart and mind
Into the valley of hurt and despair
Alas, just numbing the pain
doesn't make a person whole
He might as well be a sinner now
How do you even wash away stains from a soul?
Aug 8, 2022
Aug 8, 2022 at 12:35 PM UTC
I often get lost in questions that I don't want answers to
How did I even get here? Which road did I take?
I look at the world outside, death and decay, blood soaked soil,
glimpses of light shining on shards of glass like spoils of war
I laugh at how similar it is, to the world inside, still in turmoil
I wonder why can't I hear the sound of the approaching hurricane
maybe I'm playing our song, too loud in my head, maybe I'm still there
A flood of memories sweep me off my feet and the delusions shatter
I can see the storm approaching, with all of it's might
but if I am being honest, it doesn't really matter
I am soaked in the rain again, just like I was many years ago
When it didn't represent misery, when it didn't bring me pain
I just want to be drenched and happy but nothing feels the same anymore
It ***** how everything that you think you enjoy can turn to ****
I guess the little pleasures you brought in my life also walked out the door
I can see the long tough road and the sleepless nights ahead of me
I can see the battles to be fought and I know we'll not pass unscathed
I know I could still smile at the end, as long as I'm standing there with you
But I don't know how to stand back up and fight this battle anymore
I guess you can never really win a battle where the victory doesn't want you
Aug 20, 2020
Aug 20, 2020 at 10:48 AM UTC
I often get lost in questions that I don't want answers to
How did I even get here? Which road did I take?
I look at the world outside, death and decay, blood soaked soil,
glimpses of light shining on shards of glass like spoils of war
I laugh at how similar it is, to the world inside, still in turmoil
I wonder why can't I hear the sound of the approaching hurricane
maybe I'm playing our song, too loud in my head, maybe I'm still there
A flood of memories sweep me off my feet and the delusions shatter
I can see the storm approaching, with all of it's might
but if I am being honest, it doesn't really matter
I am soaked in the rain again, just like I was many years ago
When it didn't represent misery, when it didn't bring me pain
I just want to be drenched and happy but nothing feels the same anymore
It ***** how everything that you think you enjoy can turn to ****
I guess the little pleasures you brought in my life also walked out the door
I can see the long tough road and the sleepless nights ahead of me
I can see the battles to be fought and I know we'll not pass unscathed
I know I could still smile at the end, as long as I'm standing there with you
But I don't know how to stand back up and fight this battle anymore
I guess you can never really win a battle where the victory doesn't want you
Aug 19, 2020
Aug 19, 2020 at 11:34 AM UTC
Seventy two days and eight hours
It's been that long since she kissed me
How do I even enter the garden of eden?
To wither away is just the nature of flowers
Forty three days and seventeen hours
It's been that long since she last smiled
And to be honest I'm scared shitless
To live alone in a world that was ours
Twenty four days and thirteen hours
It's been that long since I heard her voice
I just want to let her know that I'm right here
I'll hold her hand as the illness devours
Seven days and one hour
It's been that long since she looked at me
It's her eyes that told me who I am
Now I just look in the mirror and cower
Eight hours and twenty seven minutes
It's been that long since life stopped making sense
The grandeur of this world are shy in comparison
Life is just not life without her in it
Fifteen minutes and counting still
It's been that long since I've been on the edge of this cliff
I turn to the gods I've rejected and pray
If there's a life after death, I'll do as you will
Dec 24, 2019
Dec 24, 2019 at 7:26 AM UTC
Like the waves fiddling with the shore
A distant past often reaches out
Bringing back the memories of
A time once cherished, a time now lost
Like the constant ebbs and flows
A face emerges and gently recedes
Brings along a craving for the unknown
And takes away all the heart's content
Like the sea is home to the turbulent waters
A chaos echoes within the consciousness
And yet the necessity for survival
Would not let these tremors die down
Like the horizon, where two infinites meet
The past seems within an arm's reach
The sailor always curious, never complacent
Often forgets that appearances can be deceiving
Dec 14, 2019
Dec 14, 2019 at 1:59 PM UTC
Plentiful visions of gloom and sorrow
will still lurk in the air tomorrow
and so will lurk the tearless cries
from a million dried eyes
Has it (the hope) been lost?
Was it never really there?
Will they smile when the lights go out?
Will they look up at the dark sky and shout?
The void in the dull night sky
may very well be filled and soon,
but the one in their hearts will remain
the new genesis? "Let there be disdain"!
Will the skies show them the way?
deliver them, across the waters so cold?
or will they give up too soon?
on the song from the moon!
Jan 2, 2019
Jan 2, 2019 at 10:16 AM UTC
Tired and gentle waves of the mighty ocean
receding to the horizon like the slowly setting sun
But even when it's dark, they will come back
and the waves will bring you back home
And when the sun rises again the next day
slowly pushing the eternal darkness away
diminishing it to just the shadows
the dawn will bring you back home
the refreshing smell of the summer breeze
the mild sunlight filtered from the trees
may just make the world a little bigger
the wilderness will bring you back home
the younger self, abandoned and ignored
will replace the ghosts secretly abhorred
and when it smiles in all sincerity
you will see that you were always home
Dec 7, 2018
Dec 7, 2018 at 12:35 PM UTC
If it kills you, it kills you. Something someday definitely will. But until it does, until it gets so hard that breathing in and out seems impossible, that the thought of waking up keeps you from sleeping at night, that the thought of not being able to sleep another night gets so heavy that you'd rather drown yourself than try to swim across the **** ocean that everyone else is swimming in, maybe a little closer to the shore, maybe a little further to the other side, you better live and make sure that it's worth the death that you've been dreading for so long!
Dec 6, 2018
Dec 6, 2018 at 3:02 PM UTC
The nights are getting colder
The daylight doesn't hurt anymore
The flowers that blossomed recently
have all already been plucked
A buried pain finds the surface
At a loss that's about to come
This is when I let go of
everything that made me whole
You are the leaves of glory
dazzled in beauty for all eternity
You live studded on the queen's head
You die like the collapsing star
I am the tree, barren otherwise
the crown that has lost authority
the chaos amidst the nebula
I often get left in the storm's wake
Sep 22, 2018
Sep 22, 2018 at 5:01 AM UTC