in the last throes,
we were chained by bonds of my imaginings
as I tried to drag you forwards
and you were an immovable object
until the shackles broke
and the scales fell from my eyes
and I realised
you were moving too
but in the opposite direction
and I’d just been too blind to see.
Oct 22, 2018
Oct 22, 2018 at 4:16 AM UTC
your affection waxes and wanes like the moon
but unlike her
you come and go in no discernible patterns
you leave me parched for a glimpse
you let me glut on your presence
i sit shrouded in the dark
with my heart in my hands
and a telescope of yearning
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 6:17 AM UTC
a smile, a look, a touch
is all that's needed for them to think
you belong with me
(you do)
but you are not mine
not in ways they presume
when they see us together
and the ever shrinking space between us
you are not mine in ways that are well trodden
of obligation, of possession, of labels
but you belong with me
in ways that matter
in the way we talk just to each other
in the congruency of our thought
in the importance we have for us
in laughter and sadness
in sickness and in health
they look at us and they presume
but they can never know
how deeply I belong to you
Jun 4, 2017
Jun 4, 2017 at 2:54 PM UTC
You ask me why I’m so angry all the time
I laugh because if I don’t I’ll cry,
I laugh because if I don’t I’ll cry.
And then you’ll call me emotional and hysterical
As if we’re still in the era of old where simple female reactions
Were pathologised and the bold locked up for being “mentally ill”.
You ask me why I’m angry and I simply scoff
And deny because if I start speaking about why
The rage in me will boil over like lava in a volcano
And then where will we be?
[pause]
I want to tell you,
I want to tell you why.
Why this rage, this utter, all consuming anger, this deep-rooted grief.
Let me tell you how I feel like crying whenever I hear about
Another **** case, another girl murdered for daring to refuse,
Another woman of colour who endured terrifying pain,
All because she was who she was.
Another minority violated, another black trans woman killed, her ****** unsolved,
Another child abducted and sold, like a commodity
Another another another
It never stops and it never ends
From micro-aggressions to gross violence
I feel it all in my heart
Like a stab between the fourth and the fifth rib
And it adds to my rage.
The words burst forth from my lips,
But I rein them in
Because even though I want to protest
Against your complete ignorance and your casual misogyny
And my being revolts in response to your words,
I stop myself
because you are my family, my friend, my peer
And if I say something
You’ll just ask me why I’m so angry all the time.
Sometimes there’s no winning
Resistance is futile
In a world so steeped in patriarchy
That it’s unaware of the consequences
Of perpetuating sexist narratives.
But I still want to fight
The oppressive systems that chain the girl child,
The casual way we respond to certain slights
Against the all encompassing freedom of women.
And I’ll take on a thousand such questions
If only I can change one life,
If only I can spread the word and fight the good fight.
And, I would have told you all this
If only you had asked.
If only you had the patience
To listen as I blathered on
About statistics and documented proof
Of how 50% of the world’s population
Is still under constant threat to their lives.
I repeat, fifty percent of the world’s population
Lives with a constant threat to their lives.
I would have told you about how there are thousands of accounts
Of harassment and abuse and violation of basic human rights,
The right to say no, the right to thrive.
I would have told you,
I would have told you all
If only you had asked.
So don’t ask me why I’m angry
Ask yourself why you’re not.
Apr 6, 2017
Apr 6, 2017 at 11:45 AM UTC
i was warned of an obsessive love,
an all consuming lust
i never believed in it
until I met you
i want to possess you
Crawl in between your ribs and curl up
around your heart
keeping it safe
from someone other than me
i want to tie you to me
like I'm tethered to you
and never let you be
more than four feet away
i want to leave bruises on your throat
with my lips
so that everytime you speak
you're reminded of me
i want to leave a trail of marks
all over your body
nail scratches and lovebites
so that whoever you're with
knows you belong to me
i want
i want too much
and you have no idea
Nov 17, 2016
Nov 17, 2016 at 12:13 AM UTC
.
am i
here
why
pollut-
ing
the
space
that
could
be
used
for
a
(better candidate than me)
?
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 7:54 AM UTC
lub-dub lub-dub
defense-less, defea-ted,
deafen-ing drum-ing
bea-ting heart
unwanted reminder of life
Nov 3, 2016
Nov 3, 2016 at 7:47 AM UTC
She sits alone, in the dark recesses of her mind,
Memories resurface like a drowning child.
Things never imagined mar her ****** form,
Her mind is retreated, into a world of its own.
She serves those above her,
she serves those below,
she thrashes and cries out, but she never stirs.
Images fade into darkness and days pass her by,
An empty shell of the life she once had despised.
And then the footsteps on the hard, dingy floor,
Announcing an arrival, as unwanted as a sore.
An automated routine, a drugged consciousness,
Then, once more she is dark and alone,
With nothing but her tears, reflecting the pain,
The only thing she owns.
Slowly but surely, light creeps into the sky,
One more day to survive, one more day to die.
Her head is raised slightly as sunrise colours the sky,
Stirrings in the human dwellings, people passing by.
The tiny ounce of hope she held is shattered at the sight,
A ghoulish figure that could have been on the other side.
The tattered hand of destiny, playing havoc with lives.
Sep 22, 2016
Sep 22, 2016 at 1:21 PM UTC
i:
feel like nothing
like am nothing
nor was ever anything
nor will amount to something
insides:
scooped out like a melon
leaving a great gaping void
in the center of my chest
e m p t y
of thought, action, motivation,
drained of energy
of life of joy
of everything
e m t y
of identity
e y
in heart
body
mind
soul
d
i
s
i
n
t
e
g
r
a
t
(i)nto
(n)oth
in(g).
Sep 19, 2016
Sep 19, 2016 at 1:07 PM UTC
there are times when everything is impossible
when i am capable of nothing
there are days when i just can’t seem to move
to act to work to fall into the old grooves
worn into my life by routine and expectations
there are days when it is impossible for me to do anything
when the words i am possible make me want to curl up into a ball
or punch someone in the face if only it didn’t take so much effort
there are days when it is impossible for me to paste on a smile
times when it is impossible for me do anything but lie down
despondent and tired
it is impossible for me sometimes to care
to lend a single tear to you
a pitiful ear
there are things that are so out of my control that it is impossible
not to feel helpless, not to roll over and say no
there are things that feel impossible
in their sheer ginormity
or even in the challenges they present
it becomes impossible for me to just snap out of it like you say
to make myself want to live again
it becomes impossible not to wonder
what life would be like
if i were just to sleep
for all of eternity
it becomes impossible to hope
to dream
to feel
it becomes impossible for me to do anything but sleep
lost in the land of dreams where the dull monotony of life
is transformed into the impossible creation of my imagination
Sep 19, 2016
Sep 19, 2016 at 1:06 PM UTC