I’m lost in the echoes of closed lips
The words right on the cusp
But are never allowed to breath
For it would be too painful
In a forest of lies
I search for my home
The place of safety and comfort
That has been lost long ago,
Or may have been imagined
The tall walls of enclosure
And surrounding views of grey
Now ring in my mind as suffocating-
There is no joy in serving a sentence
When no crime has been committed
Here I sit on a Tuesday afternoon
Alone in an empty shell
Searching for my roots where this began
But I find nothing of interest
And say my farewell
So I can keep searching for a place to call home
Oct 18, 2016
Oct 18, 2016 at 3:32 PM UTC
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say, stay in there, I'm not going
to let anybody see
you.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I pur whiskey on him and inhale
cigarette smoke
and the ****** and the bartenders
and the grocery clerks
never know that
he's
in there.
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too tough for him,
I say,
stay down, do you want to mess
me up?
you want to ***** up the
works?
you want to blow my book sales in
Europe?
there's a bluebird in my heart that
wants to get out
but I'm too clever, I only let him out
at night sometimes
when everybody's asleep.
I say, I know that you're there,
so don't be
sad.
then I put him back,
but he's singing a little
in there, I haven't quite let him
die
and we sleep together like
that
with our
secret pact
and it's nice enough to
make a man
weep, but I don't
weep, do
you?
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 3:43 PM UTC
the flesh covers the bone
and they put a mind
in there and
sometimes a soul,
and the women break
vases against the walls
and the men drink too
much
and nobody finds the
one
but keep
looking
crawling in and out
of beds.
flesh covers
the bone and the
flesh searches
for more than
flesh.
there's no chance
at all:
we are all trapped
by a singular
fate.
nobody ever finds
the one.
the city dumps fill
the junkyards fill
the madhouses fill
the hospitals fill
the graveyards fill
nothing else
fills.
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 3:36 PM UTC
I can see it in the way you look at me
And sense it in the way
You try to comfort me
The longing that you hold
And words left untold
I know your body from
Being compelled, caught up in a moment
I know your lips from
Alcohol taking over the the blood in our veins
And still I see the negative, caught up with strains
Your feelings pressuring me
Questioning my own idea
Of why I find warmth in solitude
And struggle accepting the idea of something new
If it was with anyone, it would be you
I let you give it all up
Leaving it to die-
Leaving you thinking it was all you
With thoughts of you clouding my dreams
You were always unsure where you stood
When the truth is you were always too good
Jan 2, 2016
Jan 2, 2016 at 11:11 AM UTC
Maybe there is a reason
That I remember the curve of your smile
And the sound of your laugh
Or the way my hands traced
Over your face
To just know your skin
To feel the laughter lines
I had created
You knew how to warm me with
your body
And your heart
Still I'm remaining cold
With my guard fiercely in place
There are barriers between us
Preventing the words
That are ready to bleed from my veins
Or anything to break through
That might save this
Those three words you spoke
Set off the smoke
That put our flame out
As my mind filled with doubt
Bringing out chapter to an end
I guess you're still a friend
Nov 16, 2015
Nov 16, 2015 at 5:44 PM UTC
I keep my walls swarmed with photos
Of faces I no longer see
And places I no longer go
The things I loved I now grow to hate
As always I realised too late
There's such an irony in seeking happiness
From what is now distant memories
And I've been torn away into a loop
Into the isolation of being alone
Who I've become now is still not known
I find humour in the worst times
In the sudden realisation that the best times
Of my few years has passed
And I feel myself fading away
When I can't keep the thoughts at bay
I've been waiting for someone to say
Anything to show that they know me
And I end up alone here again when
Even in a desperate attempt to feel
There is nothing that feels real
Oct 29, 2015
Oct 29, 2015 at 11:27 AM UTC
I guess it should be clear
Through tired eyes
And hesitant words
The changes in me
I wish I was blind to see
Leaving behind
A string of lovers
Never to last
Never to actually
Love
A heart of stone
And a conscience to match
With no hint of a crack
Or change
In the waves
I stand alone
In isolation
The most simplistic
And safe
And lonely
Oct 14, 2015
Oct 14, 2015 at 11:14 AM UTC
*I am being held back
Gripped by crooked hands
Dragged back into
The dark place
The part of my mind
The part I can't heal*
*I am being forced back there
To the cell
I have tried to escape
I had stuck to all rules
Yet falsely accused
And imprisoned*
*It lives in me
It is under my skin
Burning into my soul
Burying into my clothes
Clawing up to
My mind
Poisoning my thoughts*
*I am never going to escape
Maybe it is best to stay
Accept the lure and
Hint of comfort it brings
To protect the ones
That sacrifice so much
For a lost cause*
Oct 5, 2015
Oct 5, 2015 at 2:44 PM UTC
It is an obscure thing
To see this as so transparent
Something so mesmerising
Accentuating it's beauty
Not to even catch a glimpse of an eye
It is said that good things take time
And I have discovered something
That has never quite left
Just burrowed beneath the surface
Never to fade or to die
It is true I have had distractions
That have drifted me off course
Leading me only to dead ends
And the mistakes that followed
Yet I've found myself a new way
I am a traveler
A drifter in seek of adventure
And the promise of new beginnings
Now I see something different
A place I could stay
Sep 28, 2015
Sep 28, 2015 at 3:08 PM UTC
I am a soldier
Going in for the ****
Bringing rage and destruction
As I bypass the three limp bodies
In the path towards you
I found you
After our short time apart
So I can trap you in my cage
And strip you of all the
Strength you knew
You are the enemy
With insanely radical customs
Talk of bringing love and safety
To something so dangerous
To a complete mess
You found me
After our time apart
So you can draw out the light for me
A contrast to the war in my mind
That couldn't get you to care for me less
Sep 27, 2015
Sep 27, 2015 at 3:18 PM UTC