Perfection.
Expectation.
Rumination.
Repetition.
^ Why she thinks she'll never fly,
Tossing, turning -
Waiting to die.
She has potential,
I wish she knew.
The anchor of depression
is the only reason she never flew....
Not in life she never did,
But after death her soul lifted.
Intellect fully restored,
In the place beyond this place,
There is no such word as a "closed door"
Paradise finally.
May 22, 2015
May 22, 2015 at 7:44 PM UTC
With beauty comes pain.
Pain conceives the creatively beautiful.
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 11:16 PM UTC
Hauling " insanely beautiful" up a flight.
Hurl herself to the bottom, she might.
Her heart in her shoe, her shoe out of sight.
She feels this is perfect, her awareness a blight.
Tip back the bottle, purge up your meals.
To her, this is how happiness feels.
Reality slipping, falls through her hand.
Eyelids slowly dipping, a final thud: her body lands.
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 11:06 PM UTC
Today was a good day,
Not a single tear was shed.
Today was a good day,
That's why I'm wishing I were dead.
The desolate sea beckoning me,
Depression, a mere inevitability.
Dare not lie to me,
My death will be chosen, setting me free.
I rue the day I attempted while crying.
Is it not superior to leave the world smiling?
Today was a good day,
I best get to flying away-
Before my monsters return,
abolishing yet another day...
Death being an opportunity,
Again poached away.
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 10:33 PM UTC
That's what it's about
With BPD
The risks you take
And stupidity
The anxiety,
And unwelcome mentality
That's what it's about
With BPD
Three shots of whiskey
And a glass of wine
Throw back a couple pills
I'm sure I'll be fine.
That's what it's about
With BPD
The risks, stupidity,
And anxiety.
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 9:42 PM UTC
I am quick to cry and to anger
and people think I'm strange.
They don't see how hard I try to control it,
I know I'm seen as deranged.
Emotions can be overbearing
and it's difficult to stay quiet
when someone upsets me
It's simply not easy to hide it.
I guessed for a long time that the issue was with me.
But I thought I could watch maybe learn their technique.
For keeping a cool head when things get heated.
Instead of losing it over nothing and feeling totally defeated.
I was wrong it turned out.
I don't have breaks I have border as in
borderline personality disorder.
I got a diagnosis
and was incredibly afraid
that people would treat me like someone
who'd contracted the plague.
While I wasn't right,
I wasn't totally wrong,
mental illness is unfortunately
still mostly ignored.
If I was unwell with a headache,
people would ask
'Are you okay?'
'Here I've got Panadol Actifast.'
But when the ills
In the mind and I say
'I'm feeling down'
9 times out of 10 people get freaked out.
So it's tough when you're shamed
For having a disorder
A lot of normal people suffer
So could your son or daughter.
So next time you hear someone say
'I'm feeling down.'
Do me one favour
and please,
just don't freak out.
It's hard enough already dealing
with this day to day
without having friends
turn their backs and walk away.
May 16, 2015
May 16, 2015 at 9:39 PM UTC