I got so afraid of losing you that I subconsciously numbed myself of your love
My biggest fear came a reality when I realized I was pushing you away
When really all I wanted was you touching me, loving me
I became ungrateful and unbelieving of your love so I wouldn't worry about losing you
But, I've come to realize, I want to risk feeling the pain of losing you
I want to love you so hard that, if this was our last day, I'd lay easy knowing I loved you with all I had
Worrying about the future, unwillingly numbed my present
And, I will fight so so hard to get it back
Nov 6, 2019
Nov 6, 2019 at 7:33 PM UTC
There is always a time,
Where my heart begins to clear,
And,
My weary lungs,
Cry in relief.
My head still may ache,
For it has been dragged so raw,
But,
My lips may finally rise,
For my cheeks to peacefully rest upon.
At last my soul may relax,
Panic slowly drifting,
Off my shaky silhouette.
Oct 18, 2019
Oct 18, 2019 at 4:29 PM UTC
Oh little lily pad,
You'll have to battle to stay afloat,
Shielding yourself against the sharp, dark waves,
Of my beating heart.
But, please learn to take root.
For, I'll intertwine around you,
Taking hold, slowly hoping you'll realize,
Those same dark waters,
Are struggling to nuture your very core.
Those same dark waters,
Have made you grow, baby.
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 6, 2019 at 2:05 PM UTC
Static begins to swarm inside me,
Scratching,
As panic erodes my veins,
Numbing,
As I,
Drop,
Knees shaky as they kiss the floor,
I'm screaming, calling, reaching for you
Why are you weeping?
Found, ****** with tears,
Shaking,
Realizing it's not me you're afraid of,
Smeared now,
Tap, tap, tap,
She's back
Distorted, run by fear, she is me,
Yet no,
She's younger, paralyzed in time unwillingly,
Coming back to warn me,
I've been here before.
She's in control,
Watching,
Says once more, I need you to know,
You've been here before.
PTSD, you see,
It runs me,
Yet PTSD goes by she,
Don't be afraid by she, is me,
And you know me,
Right?
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 6, 2019 at 11:33 AM UTC