The ability to love is God's gift, isn't it?
I'm gifted to love, I know what God has placed within me. To love. I trust God. May His Love and Mercy, flow within me to love who He is pleased for me to love.
Mar 4, 2023
Mar 4, 2023 at 10:56 AM UTC
He sailed to sleep
on oceans of bitter
angry tears wept
into his pillow
across years of pain
and neglect.
The only time they
noticed him was
when they hurt him.
He didn't know why
he would sit on
the floor and look
up at them and smile
but he always did.
Like he missed them.
Loved them.
The smiles would
sink in his sad little
ocean of weeping
until on the other side
a broken and bitter
man emerged.
He never cried.
He barely felt anything.
This man, lithe from
dodging emotional
connections and clean
friendly physical contact,
seemed more than just
put together. He seemed
superhuman in his way.
He was special. He was funny.
No one could hurt him
or think around his
sometimes cruel machinations.
Inside he wished he
could look up with a smile
and be treasured and loved.
He wished his life had
been softer, less hungry and
much less afraid.
He wished he didn't have
to be strong and cynical.
He wished he was wrong
about things more often.
Wished he could afford
to be, in fact.
He wished most of all
that he could die.
He doesn't know where
the line is between
discipline and abuse.
He's so afraid to get
anywhere near it
that he worries he's
becoming a brand new
kind of bad parent
in the generational saga
of bad parents he has
always been a part of.
Sep 2, 2022
Sep 2, 2022 at 2:54 AM UTC
i married the one i love.
till i realised, he wasn't my ideals.
i had to choose - him or my ideals
it was a difficult struggle
for someone who had loved the idea of love
and not love itself.
from this moment on,
i choose him - i choose love.
as it is.
Aug 14, 2022
Aug 14, 2022 at 6:34 AM UTC
There is beauty
in these depths.
But you’d have
to drown
to see it.
Jul 24, 2021
Jul 24, 2021 at 10:02 PM UTC
like holding on to burning hot charcoal
like the black ant under a rock in a dark night
so hard to grasp, so difficult to hold on
_"for the likes of this, let the workers work"_
i will work, i will hold on, even if it hurts
i will never let go
for You
in Your Name...
Apr 14, 2021
Apr 14, 2021 at 1:19 PM UTC
i struggled not to love you,
and it pained every inch of my soul
Aug 13, 2020
Aug 13, 2020 at 6:25 AM UTC
how do we
reach
nothingness
when the "I" still exists.
Nov 27, 2019
Nov 27, 2019 at 10:54 PM UTC
i realise, its because i put too much importance on myself
if i truly understood the reality of my existence - nothingness, entire dependence to Him
then there is no need to be upset
no need to feel so down or betrayed or frustrated...
things come and go
He knows best...
Sep 16, 2019
Sep 16, 2019 at 10:32 AM UTC