One step forward,
two steps back.
Every day brings
another setback,
another backtrack,
another reminder
of the things I lack.
My mind never quiets,
I can't take the feedback.
An eternal panic attack,
I should double the Prozac,
it's making a comeback.
One step forward,
two steps back.
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 4:50 PM UTC
Spinning rapidly.
The voices in my head are heightening.
Streetlights passing by
As my hair flows through the wind.
My eyes are tiring.
They're ready to close up for the night.
My heart, however, keeps pumping.
Pump, pump, pumping.
I can barely hear the alarms ring.
It keeps my eyelids from tiring.
Spin, spin, spinning slowly now.
The world pumps its brakes,
And I go flying.
Dec 12, 2017
Dec 12, 2017 at 4:48 PM UTC
Sometimes I have good days
Where I feel like sadness
Has absolutely no way of catching up to me.
But then there are other days...
Those days of blank emotions
And completely disassociating myself
From the rest of the world.
I don’t feel real.
I feel numb and loose.
And I drown myself in defeat.
These feelings-
They come out of nowhere
To a point where I feel alone
In a crowd of lonely people
Who are just trying to get by their days
With the same old routines
And the same old smiles.
Sadness is a funny thing, I guess
Oh, the irony.
Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 4:59 PM UTC
Five seconds
The amount of time it takes for you to hide the way you feel
Five seconds
How long it takes for me to believe your feelings are real
Six seconds
Hiding the feelings that you just let slip through
Because after those five seconds are up
You leave me feeling hopelessly confused
And I’ll admit that ever since,
My mind hasn’t stopped thinking
About you.
[That’s what a mere five seconds will do.]
Dec 1, 2017
Dec 1, 2017 at 8:44 PM UTC
It follows me like the moon at night
There’s no escaping it
But, unlike the other times,
I don’t want to run from it
For it is trying to warn me of the good that will ensue
A high, an almost ecstasy, that I’ve never felt before
It’s convincing warmth is luring me
The calming hues of pinks relaxes all my tensions
It’ll be a week of only ups and no downs
That is until it all ends
The pink cloud is only a reminder
I may never feel at peace like that
Ever again
Dec 1, 2017
Dec 1, 2017 at 8:41 PM UTC
Entrapping myself in the echos of its poetry
Reciting those same words over and over again,
“Not good enough. Try again.”
How do I simply express this complex, complicated, convoluted figure
A person who knows himself is a person who lies;
Is a person who dies
They die too early and they die knowing nothing
To know it all is to know no adventure
It is to know what you never knew
So as I sit here contemplating what I am -
I come up with nothing, but the words,
“Try Again.”
Nov 27, 2017
Nov 27, 2017 at 8:13 PM UTC
“I used to dream about love”
Six words that have suddenly hit me so hard
A nostalgic feeling overwhelms me
Of the days that were easy and planned out
I dreamt of finding love in a crowd of people
I would bump into some stranger
We would hit it off and share a lingering and tender kiss
However, as I grow older,
Those dreams slowly begin to fade
The reality of it all is there is no stranger
There is no lingering and tender kiss
There is no love
Just tears and that nostalgic feeling
Nov 22, 2017
Nov 22, 2017 at 6:09 AM UTC
The most important people always seem to come at the most hardest time of your life
Right when everything seems to feel like it's going the opposite direction
Someone always seems to sweep you off your feet and show you the world again
They hypnotize you to think in a different way you never would have thought of
They manipulate your heart until it can only beat when they’re around
They manipulate your brain until it only thinks of them
And you,
You can’t control any of it
It makes you go crazy for you never thought you could ever feel this way again
It almost seemed impossible until they came into your life
You could finally be happy and smile and laugh and most importantly, feel
But, as always, life has a way of making times hard all over again
It hurts you again and again and again
And once again, that person that beautifully manipulated your soul vanishes
The only thing they leave you with are the agonizingly beautiful memories you both shared
Life makes you say that sentence over and over again:
Everything
Was
Bliss.
Nov 19, 2017
Nov 19, 2017 at 9:22 AM UTC
A new start in this morning bloom
But all of it seems so gloom,
From the tears and shouts
And the frowning pouts.
What happened to the lovely sun?
Instead now you passed me a gun
With the words “Goodbye” engraved
And the memory of how you last waved.
Starved from your ecstasy and love
While you watch me from up above.
It all feels so surreal
It was all because of that ****** deal.
I crave to have the pain you gave
Even if that means that I must be brave
Just to be able to feel
For I haven’t felt anything since the deal.
I’ve cried and swore
It’s beginning to feel like one big chore.
Oh, how I yearn to stare deeply into you
But that feeling is long yet overdue
There’s no such thing as second chances
Especially under the circumstances.
I’ll continue to slowly drown
If only you could hold me down
Nov 16, 2017
Nov 16, 2017 at 5:21 PM UTC