They've had to go.
I know, they couldn't stay here with me
I know, they had to go.
I remember being children, and my friend Aidan, he said,
"Of course we'll be friends til we're dead."
Must have been somewhat true, cause when we parted a part of me died.
And since I've had a hole form inside.
And now that I've tried to slowly fill in the gaps with all of you.
I've noticed I can't do it, it's not about what I do.
It's been about the connections I've gained and collected,
the type of connection that's strong on both ends and perspectives.
And from my point of view I'm still here and all alone.
Never thought I'd lose until it was gone.
Sometimes I just want to hurry to the end,
as if erasing myself will make my wrongs perfect again.
Dec 23, 2016
Dec 23, 2016 at 11:08 AM UTC
I saw you leaving and you didn't look back,
I've wanted to ask, but I've known why you're so sad.
With you I will dance all of your pain away, away from here.
Until we're no longer black and broken, but together and clear.
Dec 17, 2016
Dec 17, 2016 at 3:57 PM UTC
So I'll just tap my over there,
and wave my arms somewhere.
If I dance with enough passion then I might just fly.
Cause we all got to live for something,
even if it's one thing,
as they, "the limit is above the sky"
Just how much can we sob today until our sadness runs out or consumes us all.
I admit pride may be mixed all in my make up,
I know that it won't change us,
But I know if I try to bridge my heart out that I will fall.
Would catch me, would you save me.
Show me all the better ways to live this life and to be.
I have not that much to give, but I'll give it all.
Will I ever be free from my depressive cage?
And before I am how much will my soul age?
Cause already I feel a century old,
How much can there really be ahead of me,
is there any depths more in the ocean of sadness that I must see.
Will any warmth ahead make me forget this cold?
Know that I will never forget you.
Know that I will never forget you.
Please show me another sign again,
that you would be with here until the end.
I know our shared mentality won't let us get this close.
And what if I told you that wouldn't bend the rules.
We can do this without being young fools.
Remember our love is not a drug so we can't overdose.
But yet we're so different,
but should that make a difference?
We're same enough to relate to things that keep us awake.
And no not so much the pain that I feel,
but the things that show us smiles we can be proud to reveal.
So let us smile together for life's sake.
Let's just smile on for life's sake
Dec 15, 2016
Dec 15, 2016 at 5:12 AM UTC
The feelings I hold for you, are held back by the ways you feel.
But maybe as time goes on, what's better will soon be real.
I could go on about how your words entertain my drive to live.
To be by your side and with you so much more, there's few that I wouldn't give.
You hold me down, you call me out but you shelter me from the storm of my life.
You've taken me to some greater wisdom, such wit sharper than the knife.
You're view relates and still you widen the way I continue to see.
So maybe if I could stick here with you you'll come around and want more me.
This love I can't define, I don't even know how sure.
But what I know is that I love you now and there'll be always more
Dec 11, 2016
Dec 11, 2016 at 2:30 AM UTC
Raised from parents meant for me to be a good boy,
then found out how to take this life and play it like a toy.
Seeing both the heads and the tails, been so sure and been the second guessing.
Found how to curse another who also taught me the way to count my blessings.
There's only truly the good, bad, and fake.
Looking from the starting point of being clean and being baked.
Been fake for too long now I got to choose,
I've been in all the sizes and the brands of shoes.
Life's a ***** but should I own it?
Should I swallow my pride or overflow it.
Felt like heaven, gone through hell,
Have known the people that now probably sell.
Woke up today righteous, fell asleep worse.
Started counting up my blessings then only stopped to find a curse.
Should of chosen for good right now, why's it so hard?
By this time I've went all night, eyes feeling scarred.
Tired but I won't stop, my heart won't let me.
My mind saying, "get to sleep" cause that's all I need
Dec 4, 2016
Dec 4, 2016 at 4:22 PM UTC
I only meant to take a nap when I started to dream you.
And I was happy so I guess I decided to make it last just as I would do.
Now it's midnight and I'm feeling like the bizarre noises outside are a sign.
I've woken up to the wrong reality, and probably the wrong state of mind.
Seeing you seems to be the only way you're eager to know that I'm alive.
And no matter what I guess I'll leave it up to fate again cause I'm tired to have I've tried.
Maybe I don't want to know if this feeling goes both ways,
maybe I'm used to having known that I'd hoped you would stay.
And still I ask myself this lie,
"If you knew you had a choice would you try?"
Cause now I'm left out of the loop,
but you keep following me online so tell me why I feel stooped.
Maybe I'm just too depressed to think of why,
or that if you knew you had a choice would you try?
Dec 2, 2016
Dec 2, 2016 at 6:28 AM UTC
Outside I look at trees,
I wonder what happened to all of the green I knew.
Look what mother nature's style has come to.
Browns like the dirt it'll rot to.
Reds like a blood of her changing veins.
Yellows like little suns it'll miss soon.
What if all the leaves had their own names.
Would we grow fond or grow indifferent all the same?
Diaries full of memories that differ from what's current.
All made to make the present last, just to preserve it.
Crawling back like you,
nostalgic of all the things we used to have time to do.
Skies white and blue,
just like us, just changing and forever new
Nov 29, 2016
Nov 29, 2016 at 6:33 AM UTC
Yes, I see my pride.
Yes, I glimpse the light.
I thought I lost this feel inside.
This whole day's had my head in the night.
This realization brings me to ears, the tears bring me to my knees.
Don't mind my crying, I am only healing, but hug me if you please.
Not as strong I was, I see that by what I've been lately.
My late accomplishments have been more than doubtful, in my mind they've been shaky.
This is about more than just today,
there's still more for me to say.
More for me to sit down give in a chance to pray.
I no longer hear the silence, but these thoughts put me in the dark.
I know realize I'm broken, and broken to my heart.
My mind, it chokes on the thoughts of my feelings.
I think that I'm bleeding,
poison it seething,
through my veins,
through my brain.
It's my intentions that are stained.
Except it creates my memories black and white, the color has escaped.
Don't get me wrong, I know the wrong is mine.
It's bittersweet, the taste is strong and it is fine.
Cuts my heart like a knife, slays my will like a sword.
Takes me to the edge of what I don't know anymore.
Then the light, it shows.
And my pain of wrong, it grows.
Shattered, no longer together.
Never again forever.
Nov 23, 2016
Nov 23, 2016 at 3:50 PM UTC
Emotionally secure, not that's a hitting question,
one that I tend to be in bed second guessing.
Still so much is happening, and any end I see none.
Don't matter whether in the sky it's the moon and stars, or sun.
I've been sleeping lately, yes, with the most disturbing dreams,
Mainly of a disturbing context, really the most natural things.
Just cause this is not a house, that's not what makes it not a home.
It's the fact of what I fear most here is being not alone.
Maybe I just gave this to myself. Maybe I knew what the goal is.
Right there on my shelf, just me who didn't notice.
All I know now is that the future is unsafe in this environment.
Perhaps it's everyone temperament, will this ever be different?
I can go out easily and escape without anyone to know,
but then once I start interacting it's all a social show.
Maybe say they want to feel my pain, but the question never comes up.
This world is just too busy, everyone seems to have enough sorrow in their cup.
Yes I keep on playing this life as it's a playground,
going through these mood swings, watch everything slide down.
The fact's just I need help, I need to know someone's with me.
I've had too many people already bound to forget me.
Nov 21, 2016
Nov 21, 2016 at 12:05 PM UTC
I stand this pain so long,
from the dusk of day all the way through past the rise of dawn.
Sometimes look out in empty distance wondering if I shall go on.
I've been so long walking past the pain,
but that that don't change how it's a burden all the same.
Not even worrying about faded dreams of fortune and of fame.
The dark does not only come at night, it lingers in my head.
Pummels my spirit so thoroughly and leaving it to dread.
These thoughts come to my mind, they come from my heart.
It takes my memories and uses feeling that pick and pulls apart.
Remember where this point is is somewhere between heaven and those left for dead.
Because like I said, the dark lingers and the thoughts all come in from my head.
Nov 14, 2016
Nov 14, 2016 at 6:23 PM UTC