I do whatever it takes just to get me through the night
& despite all of my mistakes I'm still willing to do what's right
In my mind there is no escape
Every part of it sealed in "do not come close" yellow tape
Troubles of my own & no one is to blame
Like a black cloud over my soul that fills me up with shame
& some nights I just want to wipe myself down with tears
Listen to my heartbeat, the only reason Im still here
But I'm not really here am I
I'm somewhere else, a parallel universe
Trying to find a way out of this mess,out of this curse
& I know I'm not alone but every night it feels that way
Spend hours on the phone, that's how it is every single day
But in the end there's no way out for those who are wondering
Unless you stop being in doubt of who you are & stop squandering
We waste our youth looking for excuses to blame all else
Leaving behind all our bruises to rot on a shelf
Oct 29, 2017
Oct 29, 2017 at 12:16 AM UTC
I feel it in my lungs
suffocating me
I feel it in my bones
breaking me
I feel it in every breath I take
choking me
I feel it in every thought that comes to mind
driving me to insanity
I feel it in my sleep
slowly killing me
I feel it in my happiness
bringing me misery
I feel it when I'm with them
longing for the moment I leave
I feel it when I'm alone
wish my heart was stone
I feel it when time stops
and when time flies by
I feel my world falling apart
and there's no going back to the start
yet I stand still and feel all the pain
my soul falls into chains
and I fail once again
I feel my hands shaking
body falling to the ground aching
I wish it was a nightmare and that I'd be awakened
I keep waiting for the day
when everything will be ok
but the mistakes I've made
can't be undone
got nowhere to run
I wonder if I'll ever again get to see the sun.
Aug 6, 2016
Aug 6, 2016 at 2:11 PM UTC
I want you close but I want you far
just the thought of you sets me apart
and I just can't control my heart
loving you is too hard
but what if I can't let you go
tell me what am I supposed to do
I sit all day thinking of you
what we could be,what we could do
but your silence drives me mad
I wish it didn't feel so bad
cause I know I'm in love with you
but baby it's too hard to be true
and I know that your heart holds another
so I could be anything but your lover
I want you far but I want you near
I'm losing my mind without you here
Jun 15, 2016
Jun 15, 2016 at 10:43 AM UTC
Start over move on
words said easier than done
start over move on
everyday there's a rising sun
I know your past keeps haunting you
can't seem to let you go
but you won't let it show
start over move on
someday you'll find the one
start over move on
how long will it take for you to run
it's about time you break free
stop throwing tears into the sea
what difference does it make
the feeling must be overwhelming
it eats you up alive
how things used to be
but why don't you look for yourself and you'll see
the fireworks in the sky illuminating the world
why are you falling behind too obsessed with the darkness
when the stars aren't hard to find
stop thinking too much stop being so blind
look around you I bet there's heaven outlined
start over move on
don't wait till it's all gone.
Jun 14, 2016
Jun 14, 2016 at 5:20 PM UTC
I don't know what I'm doing
I don't know what I'm feeling
I don't know where I'm going
I don't know who I'm being
I'm overwhelmed,
frustrated,
I can't cope
These are the slogans
I repeat to myself
Over and over again
Oh yeah
I'm a failure too
I've lived this life
What did I do?
What do I have to
show for it?
These facts about myself
are the one thing
I'm very positive about.
I repeat these slogans
day in and day out
always wondering
what I'm so
depressed about
I bury my head in these sands
Suffocating
Smothering
choking on anxiety
in my own
advertising slogans
on my private airwaves
To complicate
matters
worse
just because we think something
doesn't make it true
that goes for
self worth too.
But
Mindfulness
stands
watching the passing cars
from a freeway overpass
like our racing thoughts
not holding on
not making them go away,
in peace
simply
letting them
be.
May 4, 2016
May 4, 2016 at 2:51 AM UTC
It's been a while since words have come to me
seems like I've been lost for too long
I had nowhere to be
But it's time I set myself a track
leave all this mess I've made behind
and never go back
I don't want my dreams to exist in my sleep anymore
I want to wake up and stop feeling sore
thought I had nothing to fight for
but all along it was me closing the doors
Sleeping my way instead of fighting my wars
waiting for someone to win my battles
Only no one did and no one will
In this life,you're all alone
It's time I grow up..wake up..open the door
Here comes the armies and endless wars
But I'll be strong enough I can't run away no more
I chose this life,I chose this road
I will fight,and I will fall
But I'll get back up even If I'm aching
It doesn't matter if every bone is breaking
I'm stronger than this,I've always been
A radiating supernova from within
Jan 7, 2016
Jan 7, 2016 at 2:56 PM UTC
Hello friend
I was lost without you
I was at a dead end
You came into my life like the dawn
Evolving from the darkness
Igniting my bones
Let's go to a party
and dance like crazy
let's go to the florist
I'll get you a daisy
I could talk to you for days
But it's never enough
I simply always miss you
You marshmallow fluff
You truly are the peanut butter
to my jelly
Without you i wouldn't have this belly
Let's go on a ride to wonderland
Let's keep running till we can't stand
I only wrote this for you my friend
I hope that we never come to an end
^^
Sep 27, 2015
Sep 27, 2015 at 10:16 AM UTC
Wake up from this coma you put yourself in
Burning yourself from within
why are you so angry?
why are you so sad?
what is it in your life that's driving you mad?
This pain that's taking over you
I just don't understand...
If it's a broken heart
Then at least try to fix it
why waste your time on crying?
telling the world that you'd prefer dying?
never looking for a solution to your problem
always hoping for an escape
because it's easier than facing the truth
but you still feel the same way, so what's the point of running away?
If it's something you lost and can't get back
It's already gone, so just move on
What's the point in living in the past?
Is it acceptance that you seek?
Who cares about what people say?
They change their words everyday
And you were never born to obey..
You say you feel hated?
Don't you realize that you're the most beautiful creature god ever created?
Do you feel like you've failed to achieve your everlasting dream?
Well no one knows what awaits
A golden crown? who cares
You're already a queen
Sep 27, 2015
Sep 27, 2015 at 9:34 AM UTC
My nightmares are your dreams, my happiness,
your screams
It's all to me, as it seems, bloodstreams and lightning beams.
A river of red rubies tears its way through my veins,
Did you really think,we'll ever be the same?
On and on we go,playing the same game,
tearing ourselves apart into shreds of pain
How could such beautiful eyes be so shattered,
When my torn up soul,never even mattered
When it was ripped to pieces on the ground, splattered
...and oh my you say, you feel flattered?
Cut me down, watch me bleed
Tell me now, was this everything you need?
Let me fall,take the lead
Drain me out,start to feed
Just to fill your loathing greed.
My misery wasn't enough,to fill a gaping hole?
Take my heart and bury it in your ********* soul.
Take it or leave it, it's burned inside out,
trust me dear..all you have is drought
So go ahead and break it and lose it all
Lose the last thing,
-your self control.
Don't be so harsh on my sanity,
you once used to worship my vanity.
Take a look inside, just don't touch me.
Cause a kiss from your lips would make me a banshee.
My screams will echo through the earth,
To let them know that my dead body has lost its worth
To let them see me rot in hell
To let them know what they can't compel
To curse them all under my spell
Those whispers on earth, they're just my rebirth.
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 9:47 AM UTC
Some days are heartless, some days are cold
The stories of us can never be told
Months and years passed by like wind..
I never thought that we..would come to an end
We used to be the alphas, had our own pack of wolves
Now all that's left is nostalgia, all I am is a lone wolf
Wherever I go your scent will follow
Without you I remain like a bird so hollow
Can't keep you out of my mind, you're like a drug and I'm blind.
and I'm afraid..
Afraid if I get strayed there would be no one to my aid
Clear out my head from this blur, from this fade
And there I start walking because I'm tired and sick of talking
Throwing my past behind,this is my life,I've made up my mind
I'm walking away and never coming back..
My past keeps haunting me in my dreams
I'm done with all the nightmares, done with all the screams.
I'm walking away because it's time to let go,
Time to rise from this overwhelming shadow..
And I know my heart is full of sorrow..
But it's time I live for a better tomorrow.
Sep 19, 2015
Sep 19, 2015 at 8:32 AM UTC