rachel-robison - Hello Poetry

Numb, never felt anything but the numbness inside of me I always wonder if I could feel anything else but the numbness I tried everything from, kissing, hanging out with my close friends, heck even cutting Nothing was working, why was nothing working? What was I doing so wrong? Why couldn’t I feel what others were feeling? I kept asking what I was doing wrong. What is the right way of feeling? I would ask over and over, the answers given to me were not the ones I wanted. I felt that anything I did or was doing was okay. But was it really okay? After a while my mom and sister sat down with me to talk to me "Sweetie is there anything you want to talk about." My sweet lovely mother asked with her bright brown eyes and reminded me of chocolate staring into my soul I slowly lifted my head and made the no sign. Than my sister, oh how I envied her, with her bright blue eyes holding on to a clear blue sky, after a spring rain. I did the same sign to her. Never actually saying what I really felt. They kept asking the questions over and over. I didn't want to talk, they didn't listen to me, they never listen to me. I finally had it "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I DONT WANT TO TALK!" I screamed with tears streaming down my face. I was done, absolute done with everything. I wrote a letter to my family saying I am sorry for everything I have done in the past couple of days and that I will no longer bother them. And I also wrote what I wanted on my tombstone. "Here lays the only girl that never felt nothing but emptiness" I grasped the razor, I said,the one thing I would never touch after what happened last time, and I made a deep cut on my wrist. And all I thought when it happened as "finally I won’t feel so emotionless anymore, I will be where I belong, six feet under not feeling so empty anymore." But things changed for the best. My mother found me and so did my sister. I could hear the screaming from them. My mom screaming why, over and over. The same goes with my sister. I feel my eyes closed. After a while I hear beeping of a heart montour. I wake up to see my sister and mom sleeping next to my hospital bed. I was glad to see them alright. That is when I realized that I had emotion but it just took a while to find it.

0

Mar 8, 2017

Mar 8, 2017 at 10:41 PM UTC

rachel-robison

Emotionless

Numb, never felt anything but the numbness inside of me I always wonder if I could feel anything else but the numbness I tried everything from, kissing, hanging out with my close friends, heck even cutting Nothing was working, why was nothing working? What was I doing so wrong? Why couldn’t I feel what others were feeling? I kept asking what I was doing wrong. What is the right way of feeling? I would ask over and over, the answers given to me were not the ones I wanted. I felt that anything I did or was doing was okay. But was it really okay? After a while my mom and sister sat down with me to talk to me "Sweetie is there anything you want to talk about." My sweet lovely mother asked with her bright brown eyes and reminded me of chocolate staring into my soul I slowly lifted my head and made the no sign. Than my sister, oh how I envied her, with her bright blue eyes holding on to a clear blue sky, after a spring rain. I did the same sign to her. Never actually saying what I really felt. They kept asking the questions over and over. I didn't want to talk, they didn't listen to me, they never listen to me. I finally had it "JUST LEAVE ME ALONE! I DONT WANT TO TALK!" I screamed with tears streaming down my face. I was done, absolute done with everything. I wrote a letter to my family saying I am sorry for everything I have done in the past couple of days and that I will no longer bother them. And I also wrote what I wanted on my tombstone. "Here lays the only girl that never felt nothing but emptiness" I grasped the razor, I said,the one thing I would never touch after what happened last time, and I made a deep cut on my wrist. And all I thought when it happened as "finally I won’t feel so emotionless anymore, I will be where I belong, six feet under not feeling so empty anymore." But things changed for the best. My mother found me and so did my sister. I could hear the screaming from them. My mom screaming why, over and over. The same goes with my sister. I feel my eyes closed. After a while I hear beeping of a heart montour. I wake up to see my sister and mom sleeping next to my hospital bed. I was glad to see them alright. That is when I realized that I had emotion but it just took a while to find it.

35

Hello my name is heartbreak I am here to steal your heart away you never thought that I would show up and crash the show Well I guess you guessed wrong I creep up on you like a tiger haunting his prey Silent yet deadly, sometimes When you finally realize that I am there it is to late I have taken your heart and it is mine to keep You try and try to make a deal, but you are only making it worse for yourself I keep your heart in a box in a safe place. I finally bargain with you so you can have your heart back again. You and I must play a game What game you ask? A simple game of chance If you can find true love you get your heart back, but it is more complex than you think You run around trying to find it, but you haven't tired as hard as you need to I give you hints you where to find it at, but you never bother to listen to the words I say. So I ask again and again "Are you sure you want to play with your heart on the line?" You keep replying with the same one word answer that I love to hear "yes." As we go around and around in circles we make it into a dance where I am the lead and you are the follower. In a circle we dance on point toed shoes You take a leap of faith into my arms, but when the curtain closes you are left alone with all your guilt and sorrows I ask you the question again and the same answer you give is simple bliss We keep going and going until you are finally done You finally ask the question I wanted to hear " what is true love exactly?" I reply with a riddle " it is not on the surface but deep underneath, like a beast in a deep sleep." You stop and think about how to figure out the riddle but you can't figure it out. As I watch you try I want to laugh Seeing how hard it is for you to figure out a simple riddle is some what amusing There is no time limit on this riddle So while I wait I will play a ****** on my fiddle While I play you think about it over and over again and you get angry at yourself for not knowing the answer You ask the question again and I reply with the same kind of riddle You ponder on the answer and how to find it. You keep looking for it as if it is an object in physical form When it come time you give up not looking anymore You ask for the answer and I give it to you I say " it is a simple answer to a simple riddle. The answer is you find true love within yourself. You can only find it when you finally realize that no one can love you truly unless you love yourself." I keep your heart and you finally realize that I will keep your heart until you love love yourself confidently Hello my name is heartbreak And I am here to protect your heart from yourself. Finally You come to your senses And start loving yourself as you are ment to do in the first place. We run into each other again and I see how you are doing with loving yourself You have made a great leap I give you your heart back and see if you can handle it with care A few months later I come to see you again I find you in a dark alley beaten and bruised You fell in love with a wrong type of man I finally realized that you were not ready for you heart back I take it and I ask "Why are you on the ***** ground in a dark alleyway?" You reply with a simple head shake in a no idea formation. With that I can tell that people have hurt you and he has taken away your self confidence

0

Mar 6, 2017

Mar 6, 2017 at 5:28 AM UTC

rachel-robison

I Am Heartbreak

Hello my name is heartbreak I am here to steal your heart away you never thought that I would show up and crash the show Well I guess you guessed wrong I creep up on you like a tiger haunting his prey Silent yet deadly, sometimes When you finally realize that I am there it is to late I have taken your heart and it is mine to keep You try and try to make a deal, but you are only making it worse for yourself I keep your heart in a box in a safe place. I finally bargain with you so you can have your heart back again. You and I must play a game What game you ask? A simple game of chance If you can find true love you get your heart back, but it is more complex than you think You run around trying to find it, but you haven't tired as hard as you need to I give you hints you where to find it at, but you never bother to listen to the words I say. So I ask again and again "Are you sure you want to play with your heart on the line?" You keep replying with the same one word answer that I love to hear "yes." As we go around and around in circles we make it into a dance where I am the lead and you are the follower. In a circle we dance on point toed shoes You take a leap of faith into my arms, but when the curtain closes you are left alone with all your guilt and sorrows I ask you the question again and the same answer you give is simple bliss We keep going and going until you are finally done You finally ask the question I wanted to hear " what is true love exactly?" I reply with a riddle " it is not on the surface but deep underneath, like a beast in a deep sleep." You stop and think about how to figure out the riddle but you can't figure it out. As I watch you try I want to laugh Seeing how hard it is for you to figure out a simple riddle is some what amusing There is no time limit on this riddle So while I wait I will play a ****** on my fiddle While I play you think about it over and over again and you get angry at yourself for not knowing the answer You ask the question again and I reply with the same kind of riddle You ponder on the answer and how to find it. You keep looking for it as if it is an object in physical form When it come time you give up not looking anymore You ask for the answer and I give it to you I say " it is a simple answer to a simple riddle. The answer is you find true love within yourself. You can only find it when you finally realize that no one can love you truly unless you love yourself." I keep your heart and you finally realize that I will keep your heart until you love love yourself confidently Hello my name is heartbreak And I am here to protect your heart from yourself. Finally You come to your senses And start loving yourself as you are ment to do in the first place. We run into each other again and I see how you are doing with loving yourself You have made a great leap I give you your heart back and see if you can handle it with care A few months later I come to see you again I find you in a dark alley beaten and bruised You fell in love with a wrong type of man I finally realized that you were not ready for you heart back I take it and I ask "Why are you on the ***** ground in a dark alleyway?" You reply with a simple head shake in a no idea formation. With that I can tell that people have hurt you and he has taken away your self confidence

55

There sits a little girl. A little girl who wants nothing more than to vanish Vanish like her mom, and dad did. To vanish like her grandma did when she was only three. The little girl didn't know what the word death meant Hell she was only three. Now she is thirteen, with trust issues. Trust issues is not normal for a girl and the age of thirteen. But what they don't know is this little thirteen year old is well aware of every thing Aware that one day everyone she loves is going to vanish. By the age of fifteen she wants to vanish like grandma did. She thinks that vanishing would be the only way to get all the pain or of her body, and mind. To vanish because she thought she didn't belong there To vanish little a leaf on the wind To vanish so no one would state at her when she would walk down the halls of her high school. To vanish so the scars on her wrist wouldn't have to be covered anymore To vanish from all the beating from the man she is supposed to call dad. She just want to vanish. Now at the age of eighteen She is allowed to vanish. Vanish from the pain and misery of leaving in a broken dollhouse. Vanish from the man she supposed to call dad. Vanish from all the pain and misery of the last four years in a hell called high school. She is going to pull the biggest vanishing acts of all time. That vanishing act would be the one thing every senior in the world would like to call graduation. She would graduate from the pain of walking the hall of high school, middle school, and elementary school. To graduate from the cuts on her wrist, and the turtle necks. To graduate from her former self doubt To graduate from the one place she thought she would never leave. She finally gets to vanish.

0

Mar 6, 2017

Mar 6, 2017 at 5:24 AM UTC

rachel-robison

Vanish

There sits a little girl. A little girl who wants nothing more than to vanish Vanish like her mom, and dad did. To vanish like her grandma did when she was only three. The little girl didn't know what the word death meant Hell she was only three. Now she is thirteen, with trust issues. Trust issues is not normal for a girl and the age of thirteen. But what they don't know is this little thirteen year old is well aware of every thing Aware that one day everyone she loves is going to vanish. By the age of fifteen she wants to vanish like grandma did. She thinks that vanishing would be the only way to get all the pain or of her body, and mind. To vanish because she thought she didn't belong there To vanish little a leaf on the wind To vanish so no one would state at her when she would walk down the halls of her high school. To vanish so the scars on her wrist wouldn't have to be covered anymore To vanish from all the beating from the man she is supposed to call dad. She just want to vanish. Now at the age of eighteen She is allowed to vanish. Vanish from the pain and misery of leaving in a broken dollhouse. Vanish from the man she supposed to call dad. Vanish from all the pain and misery of the last four years in a hell called high school. She is going to pull the biggest vanishing acts of all time. That vanishing act would be the one thing every senior in the world would like to call graduation. She would graduate from the pain of walking the hall of high school, middle school, and elementary school. To graduate from the cuts on her wrist, and the turtle necks. To graduate from her former self doubt To graduate from the one place she thought she would never leave. She finally gets to vanish.

30

My body is shaking Words are spinning Its all in my head That's what they say I can be an actor I can play the part The part of a girl who doesn't battle Depression Of the girl who doesn't hate herself and her body I can play the part well. I mean no one notices me when I smile all pretty I can play the part Of a girl who has no mental illness Who is not scared that one day she will break And no one can fix her Yet everyone looks at me Like I am a painting on display. I am covered in figurative blood My mind made it appear Its all over the walls I can play the part of a innocent little girl, Well I already do. But all you see is my anger I cover up my broken prices. I swept them under the rug... Do you think they can still exist? Well of course they do. Why did I ask that stupid question.. I ask a lot of stupid questions. But the dumbest question ever asked is Are you okay? I want to say I'm not But instead say Everything is fine and dandy But I'm gripped by fear.. I am afraid of everything I am mostly scared of breaking I mean the cracks are getting bigger You will be fine The voice in my head says It talks like I am a piece of meat waiting to be inspected. I have mental illnesses that cause me to be wacky. I have bad feelings. They make me want to cause destruction. I do, cause destruction I make cuts on my arms And cuts on my legs And cuts on my stomach to. But the cuts on my heart are the ones that people cant see They are the ones that hurt the most. In fact they make me who I am Mental Illnesses are nothing to laugh about You don't know what they went through It makes me crazy thinking the possibilities of being sent to a mental hospital But yet it makes me smile I could be free Free of the chains that hold me down I am already crazy The hospital can't change that They can only lessen it. So yes A mental Illness Isn't fun but they push through and fight against it. They are the winners The ones who beat a mental illness They have won there battle in life. I am just beginning mine.

0

rachel-robison

Jan 7, 2016

Jan 7, 2016 at 3:51 PM UTC

Raptor_Rodent

Mental Illness

My body is shaking Words are spinning Its all in my head That's what they say I can be an actor I can play the part The part of a girl who doesn't battle Depression Of the girl who doesn't hate herself and her body I can play the part well. I mean no one notices me when I smile all pretty I can play the part Of a girl who has no mental illness Who is not scared that one day she will break And no one can fix her Yet everyone looks at me Like I am a painting on display. I am covered in figurative blood My mind made it appear Its all over the walls I can play the part of a innocent little girl, Well I already do. But all you see is my anger I cover up my broken prices. I swept them under the rug... Do you think they can still exist? Well of course they do. Why did I ask that stupid question.. I ask a lot of stupid questions. But the dumbest question ever asked is Are you okay? I want to say I'm not But instead say Everything is fine and dandy But I'm gripped by fear.. I am afraid of everything I am mostly scared of breaking I mean the cracks are getting bigger You will be fine The voice in my head says It talks like I am a piece of meat waiting to be inspected. I have mental illnesses that cause me to be wacky. I have bad feelings. They make me want to cause destruction. I do, cause destruction I make cuts on my arms And cuts on my legs And cuts on my stomach to. But the cuts on my heart are the ones that people cant see They are the ones that hurt the most. In fact they make me who I am Mental Illnesses are nothing to laugh about You don't know what they went through It makes me crazy thinking the possibilities of being sent to a mental hospital But yet it makes me smile I could be free Free of the chains that hold me down I am already crazy The hospital can't change that They can only lessen it. So yes A mental Illness Isn't fun but they push through and fight against it. They are the winners The ones who beat a mental illness They have won there battle in life. I am just beginning mine.

66

Hello My name is Belle Which usually stands for beautiful in French Nothing about me is beautiful My body is fat My hair to long My eyes to wide My mouth to narrow My life to long I have a adopted brother who shot up his school and himself My mother shot herself Now I live my two siblings and a father who doesn't want me My life has been turned to a dump Now I have a bump It's on the back of my head A bully gave it to me It doesn't hurt At least not anymore I am sitting in class My life was passing by in a blink of an eye Yet all I had to show was two dead family members I can dance at my house with a smile on my face Though it's not really home With its run down shutters and yellow trim It's made of brick that is a ugly yellow brown Kind of like my blond hair Which says I am not apart of this browned hair family My real mom went MIA My entire life She left me alone I have more bruises My pain is real My mother told me that it is all to real I am not supposed to be here At least not anymore I was always told to follow the lead I have my lead I packed a pistol in my bag It's not noticeable I smile every day Except today it is just cruel My eyes look at my targets A teacher and three students The third student looks at me I stand in front a mirror I walk into class with a big smile and light heart For the first time in forever I am truly happy I glanced at my teacher Then two of my friends I pull out the pistol And I shoot at the teacher Then at my friends I see blood splatter on the wall I see blood on my dress Oh well My life will be complete I will turn out just like my family Broken and ****** and a bullet in my head I know what I'm doing My mother once said that life is what you want it to be I want mine to be over People say Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem I think suicide is the way to go My family taught me that Oh look the cops are coming through the door Time for me to say goodbye I have had my fun Now its time to go To this place I call home I put the gun up to my head and pull back the trigger I hear Click, Click, Click The sound of almost there Then I feel the bullet enter my head and I am no more The news will love this I get to be famous....

0

rachel-robison

Jan 5, 2016

Jan 5, 2016 at 5:31 PM UTC

Raptor_Rodent

Belle

Hello My name is Belle Which usually stands for beautiful in French Nothing about me is beautiful My body is fat My hair to long My eyes to wide My mouth to narrow My life to long I have a adopted brother who shot up his school and himself My mother shot herself Now I live my two siblings and a father who doesn't want me My life has been turned to a dump Now I have a bump It's on the back of my head A bully gave it to me It doesn't hurt At least not anymore I am sitting in class My life was passing by in a blink of an eye Yet all I had to show was two dead family members I can dance at my house with a smile on my face Though it's not really home With its run down shutters and yellow trim It's made of brick that is a ugly yellow brown Kind of like my blond hair Which says I am not apart of this browned hair family My real mom went MIA My entire life She left me alone I have more bruises My pain is real My mother told me that it is all to real I am not supposed to be here At least not anymore I was always told to follow the lead I have my lead I packed a pistol in my bag It's not noticeable I smile every day Except today it is just cruel My eyes look at my targets A teacher and three students The third student looks at me I stand in front a mirror I walk into class with a big smile and light heart For the first time in forever I am truly happy I glanced at my teacher Then two of my friends I pull out the pistol And I shoot at the teacher Then at my friends I see blood splatter on the wall I see blood on my dress Oh well My life will be complete I will turn out just like my family Broken and ****** and a bullet in my head I know what I'm doing My mother once said that life is what you want it to be I want mine to be over People say Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem I think suicide is the way to go My family taught me that Oh look the cops are coming through the door Time for me to say goodbye I have had my fun Now its time to go To this place I call home I put the gun up to my head and pull back the trigger I hear Click, Click, Click The sound of almost there Then I feel the bullet enter my head and I am no more The news will love this I get to be famous....

78

I am sorry for... If I have disappointed you. That I am not good with keeping my grades up. That I am mad at the wrong times. To my sisters who think I am strong enough to hold the world on my shoulders. even though I am not. The animals in my family. If I am dark and mysterious. If I wear to much black. If I don't follow religion. If I have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend. If I don't follow your standards. If I haven't follow the dream you set out for me. If I am not the motherly sister you want me to be. If I not don't smile as often. If I don't shine bright enough like the sun and moon. I am sorry..... You know what I am not sorry. I will never be sorry for what I have done for my family. I will smile like the sun, like the moon. I will play the role of mom if I need too. I will show my sister that I do carry the world on my shoulders. I will show my parents that I am trying in school, trying to get better grades. I will follow my own dream. I will not follow other peoples standards. I will love girlfriend. I will love my friends and family. I will be dark and mysterious. I will wear all the black that I want. I will not say that I am sorry anymore. I have no one to say I am sorry to anymore.

0

Nov 30, 2015

Nov 30, 2015 at 9:53 PM UTC

rachel-robison

I am sorry

I am sorry for... If I have disappointed you. That I am not good with keeping my grades up. That I am mad at the wrong times. To my sisters who think I am strong enough to hold the world on my shoulders. even though I am not. The animals in my family. If I am dark and mysterious. If I wear to much black. If I don't follow religion. If I have a girlfriend instead of a boyfriend. If I don't follow your standards. If I haven't follow the dream you set out for me. If I am not the motherly sister you want me to be. If I not don't smile as often. If I don't shine bright enough like the sun and moon. I am sorry..... You know what I am not sorry. I will never be sorry for what I have done for my family. I will smile like the sun, like the moon. I will play the role of mom if I need too. I will show my sister that I do carry the world on my shoulders. I will show my parents that I am trying in school, trying to get better grades. I will follow my own dream. I will not follow other peoples standards. I will love girlfriend. I will love my friends and family. I will be dark and mysterious. I will wear all the black that I want. I will not say that I am sorry anymore. I have no one to say I am sorry to anymore.

30

My pain is a small blessing kind of like a small child In this degrading world People dodge battles by keeping their mouths shut Ah yes a simple ideal One person curse out load another in their head A head that can hold a thousand thoughts But one is what pops out Is it figurative or not? My arms are held open by miles of air Just waiting to be filled My heart desires to be pumping blood Like a runners whose is in first place Then just like that it gets its wish My arms are full of love not air I dance in my head with beat in the back A romantic melody that sways my blood Even though my heart is dead my brain picks up the speed instead And as I dance in this place I watch as I see his face A face of wonder And a though pops out is this figurative or not? I can see my pain run around with little leashes On the leashes is a different emotion Happy in blue Sadness in red Anger in black Sanity in white My pain stands runs with a yellow color My fear hangs in the back ground all the time I dance in between as to not step on the others They weave themselves a web Me trapped in the middle I bow before my pain in half bow Some would say I obey it But it obeys me I let it loose and I pay the price My pain is a small blessing In this small degrading world In which if you don't bow down and obey Some one gets terribly offended A person told me that If you throw a rock its bound to hit someone who is offended by every little thing If only people let me pass by in a world of silence In my eyes the only thing I see is peoples aura.. Some are yellow Some are red And some are grey My favorite are rainbow They remind me of me Full of pain but of happiness to Ah yes My simple ideal Who know I was so tragic Yet I snatched away the chance to run From Is it figurative or not? My pain isn't real My body doesn't exist My mind is decaying Along with the lump of flesh I call my body My pain is figurative My lifeless eyes are not Yet only in my life would the pain belong Aye My tone for this poem is quite mysterious If only one knew my darkest secret But its mine The key is gone It's locked away The key you ask Is it figurative or not? I play a little game You dance a slow dance Around the circle of despair Lies a body of a bear The brown fur is all that's left The poor beast I have a game a simple game You have to Win to get the key The key is the prize It locks away my emotions besides happy Ohh noooo You can't give me that look My heart is like a ruined book The pages stuck together with gum I act just like a *** If only I knew a place with a fixer My pain is a small child Looking at the world full of hope But it gets degraded and stepped on I try and try and try some more My pain has lost its spirit If only I had tried to give it More hope and less agony Maybe then I could be free Just like a bumble bee.

0

rachel-robison

Nov 30, 2015

Nov 30, 2015 at 9:29 PM UTC

Raptor_Rodent

Figurative Or Not?

My pain is a small blessing kind of like a small child In this degrading world People dodge battles by keeping their mouths shut Ah yes a simple ideal One person curse out load another in their head A head that can hold a thousand thoughts But one is what pops out Is it figurative or not? My arms are held open by miles of air Just waiting to be filled My heart desires to be pumping blood Like a runners whose is in first place Then just like that it gets its wish My arms are full of love not air I dance in my head with beat in the back A romantic melody that sways my blood Even though my heart is dead my brain picks up the speed instead And as I dance in this place I watch as I see his face A face of wonder And a though pops out is this figurative or not? I can see my pain run around with little leashes On the leashes is a different emotion Happy in blue Sadness in red Anger in black Sanity in white My pain stands runs with a yellow color My fear hangs in the back ground all the time I dance in between as to not step on the others They weave themselves a web Me trapped in the middle I bow before my pain in half bow Some would say I obey it But it obeys me I let it loose and I pay the price My pain is a small blessing In this small degrading world In which if you don't bow down and obey Some one gets terribly offended A person told me that If you throw a rock its bound to hit someone who is offended by every little thing If only people let me pass by in a world of silence In my eyes the only thing I see is peoples aura.. Some are yellow Some are red And some are grey My favorite are rainbow They remind me of me Full of pain but of happiness to Ah yes My simple ideal Who know I was so tragic Yet I snatched away the chance to run From Is it figurative or not? My pain isn't real My body doesn't exist My mind is decaying Along with the lump of flesh I call my body My pain is figurative My lifeless eyes are not Yet only in my life would the pain belong Aye My tone for this poem is quite mysterious If only one knew my darkest secret But its mine The key is gone It's locked away The key you ask Is it figurative or not? I play a little game You dance a slow dance Around the circle of despair Lies a body of a bear The brown fur is all that's left The poor beast I have a game a simple game You have to Win to get the key The key is the prize It locks away my emotions besides happy Ohh noooo You can't give me that look My heart is like a ruined book The pages stuck together with gum I act just like a *** If only I knew a place with a fixer My pain is a small child Looking at the world full of hope But it gets degraded and stepped on I try and try and try some more My pain has lost its spirit If only I had tried to give it More hope and less agony Maybe then I could be free Just like a bumble bee.

100

I walk into the school I believe it is my personal hell People pick on me I want to cry because of it I stay home because of them I try to go stay home but my mom says i can't I sometimes wish i could die But i remember i have friends and family that i would miss So i walk in to school with a smile on my face People pick on me I just smile and walk away I remember a saying my family and friends say all the time Hater are just going to hate You are beautiful no matter what is going on in life I remember all of it I walk through the school with a smile on my face And i tell the haters to go away because they have nothing on me Remember walk through the school with a smile accompanying you through the hard time Also remember your family and friends before you plan something worse then someone bullying you

0

Oct 30, 2015

Oct 30, 2015 at 9:04 PM UTC

rachel-robison

School

I walk into the school I believe it is my personal hell People pick on me I want to cry because of it I stay home because of them I try to go stay home but my mom says i can't I sometimes wish i could die But i remember i have friends and family that i would miss So i walk in to school with a smile on my face People pick on me I just smile and walk away I remember a saying my family and friends say all the time Hater are just going to hate You are beautiful no matter what is going on in life I remember all of it I walk through the school with a smile on my face And i tell the haters to go away because they have nothing on me Remember walk through the school with a smile accompanying you through the hard time Also remember your family and friends before you plan something worse then someone bullying you

19

Rachel is the name my mom gave me Rachel is someone sweet Rachel is a secret keeper Rachel is a little momma Bur rachel has her dark secrets Rachel is sometimes angry Rachel is sometimes cranky Rachel is sometimes depressed Rachel is also sometimes only But rachel as siblings who care for her An older brother is happy for her happiness Sisters who can tell she as been crying A mother who loves her so A father who also loves her Mother giving her confidence Mother loves her for the littlest things This girl is me Rachel is the name i will carry to the grave

0

Oct 22, 2015

Oct 22, 2015 at 11:11 AM UTC

rachel-robison

Rachel

Rachel is the name my mom gave me Rachel is someone sweet Rachel is a secret keeper Rachel is a little momma Bur rachel has her dark secrets Rachel is sometimes angry Rachel is sometimes cranky Rachel is sometimes depressed Rachel is also sometimes only But rachel as siblings who care for her An older brother is happy for her happiness Sisters who can tell she as been crying A mother who loves her so A father who also loves her Mother giving her confidence Mother loves her for the littlest things This girl is me Rachel is the name i will carry to the grave

18

Aw yes the blood flowing through my veins My beating heart that comes to a end I stand staring at what I thought was love Then I look around and all I see is blood I smirk then smile Knowing your time has come. If only you knew what you could become So yes the blood that's flowing through our veins Can be lost With a simple cut of a knife You have to ask Do I truly want this? Yet when you see every one bend down You come to horrendous thought Everyone looks but no one sees The pain that's inside of me One heart sticks out You contemplate Can I make that heart stay? One month six days Then you feel a cut You said you promises A promises you broke Know we go on with life Like nothing ever happened But I feel it in the back of my mind The fact that maybe you could have been the one Then I remember the knife being turned I can't fall asleep without seeing your pretty face Yet I know when I'm not wanted I know when I have been tossed aside Just like a shot gun shell which the angel shot at me I fell in love And every calls it infatuation But I not infatuated My heart is still beating Though nobody cares My pain is still real Although everyone tells me theirs I can't breathe some nights Because all I smell I you You broke my soul and stabbed my heart Even though my heart is still beating I look around and see one thing The heart that stuck out Was the heart that broke mine My heart still beats And when its done I hope its because of something fun I dont want pain I dont want death I just want love Like the next person I want weirdos I want nerds I want people who make me feel good I want my heart to beat faster for someone Then someone to just say that We aren't good I want someone who loves me like I love them I want the perfect person But no one is perfect Yet when I see the smiling faces I realize I want what they have Someone to talk and laugh with Someone to share secrets Then I see the 1 month 6 days I flinch away I dont want a month and so days I want forever and always Yet it always out of my reach My first heart is gone I'm on to a second life I start at the placed I save And still couldn't get it right I smile and wave Even though I want to cry When I'm alone is finally The time the tears fall They couldn't have fallen they crashed Crashed through the dam And onto my cheeks Then I see the very bad thing Someone walks in The dam closes. I wipe away the tears I face the person She stands with frown on her face Short pretty hair and a glare that's not meant for me I blink she's still there She's come to haunt me now She's alive but I am still in love Then I look away I can't stand the sight I saw her in dreams mutilated But when she is fine and safe I can't stand it She broke me and she is still whole I just want to be whole The heart that beats is mine It's beats with a thud I imagine the day it stops Everyone stares at me I am the center of attention I dont want this I want freedom I have trapped my heart It howls to be free I get colder and push everyone away I snap in anger I bite and scratch Then I awake It was only a dream But the heart ache is real I look around and see my sisters They smile and laugh My brother is being rude like always Then I notice the shadow The shadow is me I hang in the background with my gloomy mood I get asked to do things I do them Then I remember when I was happier No has noticed that after she broke up with me I have been crawling back in my shell. I feel my heart thump. I smile It's not real No one knows the difference so its fine I pretend I could be a actor That or they choose not to confront But I put up a show Then I turn and run Because whats the point if all any one wants is someone to laugh at I sit down and think Am I really worth all this pain? I look up and spot a light I smile A actual smile One that makes my eyes light up. She has come to save me My grandma Jane I hop up and run to her Darling are you okay? I hear her ask No I'm not. My heart and soul have been broken. She smiles It will all get better The last thing she said before she disappeared I have hope The heart of mine is beating That's all I need to know everything happens for a reason. I'm in invincible now. I have knowledge I have my beating heart I walk out of the darkness and join the light My eyes light up and I smile more often The feeling of death moves away One month and six days are just numbers But these numbers have meaning I'm still alive and my heart is still beating Just because she broke my heart and soul Doesn't mean I can't be happy I have new knowledge I know how to live with someone who isn't interested I lay me head down and think The beating heart I hear is mine and it's going strong.

0

rachel-robison

Oct 22, 2015

Oct 22, 2015 at 10:59 AM UTC

Raptor_Rodent

The Beating Heart

Aw yes the blood flowing through my veins My beating heart that comes to a end I stand staring at what I thought was love Then I look around and all I see is blood I smirk then smile Knowing your time has come. If only you knew what you could become So yes the blood that's flowing through our veins Can be lost With a simple cut of a knife You have to ask Do I truly want this? Yet when you see every one bend down You come to horrendous thought Everyone looks but no one sees The pain that's inside of me One heart sticks out You contemplate Can I make that heart stay? One month six days Then you feel a cut You said you promises A promises you broke Know we go on with life Like nothing ever happened But I feel it in the back of my mind The fact that maybe you could have been the one Then I remember the knife being turned I can't fall asleep without seeing your pretty face Yet I know when I'm not wanted I know when I have been tossed aside Just like a shot gun shell which the angel shot at me I fell in love And every calls it infatuation But I not infatuated My heart is still beating Though nobody cares My pain is still real Although everyone tells me theirs I can't breathe some nights Because all I smell I you You broke my soul and stabbed my heart Even though my heart is still beating I look around and see one thing The heart that stuck out Was the heart that broke mine My heart still beats And when its done I hope its because of something fun I dont want pain I dont want death I just want love Like the next person I want weirdos I want nerds I want people who make me feel good I want my heart to beat faster for someone Then someone to just say that We aren't good I want someone who loves me like I love them I want the perfect person But no one is perfect Yet when I see the smiling faces I realize I want what they have Someone to talk and laugh with Someone to share secrets Then I see the 1 month 6 days I flinch away I dont want a month and so days I want forever and always Yet it always out of my reach My first heart is gone I'm on to a second life I start at the placed I save And still couldn't get it right I smile and wave Even though I want to cry When I'm alone is finally The time the tears fall They couldn't have fallen they crashed Crashed through the dam And onto my cheeks Then I see the very bad thing Someone walks in The dam closes. I wipe away the tears I face the person She stands with frown on her face Short pretty hair and a glare that's not meant for me I blink she's still there She's come to haunt me now She's alive but I am still in love Then I look away I can't stand the sight I saw her in dreams mutilated But when she is fine and safe I can't stand it She broke me and she is still whole I just want to be whole The heart that beats is mine It's beats with a thud I imagine the day it stops Everyone stares at me I am the center of attention I dont want this I want freedom I have trapped my heart It howls to be free I get colder and push everyone away I snap in anger I bite and scratch Then I awake It was only a dream But the heart ache is real I look around and see my sisters They smile and laugh My brother is being rude like always Then I notice the shadow The shadow is me I hang in the background with my gloomy mood I get asked to do things I do them Then I remember when I was happier No has noticed that after she broke up with me I have been crawling back in my shell. I feel my heart thump. I smile It's not real No one knows the difference so its fine I pretend I could be a actor That or they choose not to confront But I put up a show Then I turn and run Because whats the point if all any one wants is someone to laugh at I sit down and think Am I really worth all this pain? I look up and spot a light I smile A actual smile One that makes my eyes light up. She has come to save me My grandma Jane I hop up and run to her Darling are you okay? I hear her ask No I'm not. My heart and soul have been broken. She smiles It will all get better The last thing she said before she disappeared I have hope The heart of mine is beating That's all I need to know everything happens for a reason. I'm in invincible now. I have knowledge I have my beating heart I walk out of the darkness and join the light My eyes light up and I smile more often The feeling of death moves away One month and six days are just numbers But these numbers have meaning I'm still alive and my heart is still beating Just because she broke my heart and soul Doesn't mean I can't be happy I have new knowledge I know how to live with someone who isn't interested I lay me head down and think The beating heart I hear is mine and it's going strong.

167