why do you wonder
what i'm doing at night
why do you wonder if
i'm acting right
why do you care... if I am here or there
why do you wonder
why do you wonder
If you must know
i'm asleep in the light
if you must know
I am fighting for my life
my prayer feels distant
but I know it strikes
my lords dear ears
I hear him cry
my daughter dear
i've opened your eyes
you shed a tear
but don't give up the fight
i'm still here
my perspective's not blind
and all I hear
disturbs my mind
I am not the the deception
I am not the exception
I will not give you directions
I am only your perception
3d ago
May 31, 2026 at 9:28 PM UTC
so this is it
a waste of my
time.
Time better spent
waiting for your goodbye.
But you walk right back in
like its your ******* life,
take all you can get
at least until the next time.
I wallow in this
pain left behind
making me sick
the taste of your lies.
Apr 6, 2022
Apr 6, 2022 at 8:01 PM UTC
Closed my eyes
While the feeling
building up inside of me
Stands on my chest, that caves
Makes it hard to breathe.
Let's do this again
And again. Like my mind can't forget
Every single word they say, speaking to my anxiety.
And so it begins
Like it ends
Then I'm left to pretend
It comes easy as friends
that I have made,
But not today
I'd rather isolate.
My intentions stood
On everything good.
Tried to fix it
But can't skip the inevitable
Merciful his grace
Discovering my faith
Can you fix it
Can you make my mind quit
Confusing thoughts with words, why can't I make it work.
Dyslexic
It's a mind game
And I dont want to play.
Mar 25, 2020
Mar 25, 2020 at 12:51 AM UTC
My place in the dark
Having no way to stop
Myself from getting lost.
Heavy weighs the solitude
Sicking the attitude.
Mind rotting the thoughts
On replay
Muttered words I must say
That I wish I could explain
this type of way..
That I choose
To live like I do.
My face to the ground
As I pray
****** cries in his name.
Terrified my heart aches
Knowing why I'm betrayed
By the world I thought I knew.
Apr 25, 2019
Apr 25, 2019 at 11:03 AM UTC
The symptoms worsen
As I brace myself for words, not ready.
Even though I know the truth behind my eyes is surfacing.
Foolish I've become, to all outside myself.
I'm numb
I tolerate the pain.
I focus on the gain, such selfish ties
Hold me restrained
Back from my life
that I once was living.
Mar 26, 2019
Mar 26, 2019 at 5:08 PM UTC
The truth is such painful step
To take when I don't want to yet
But each day I see what I get.
Makes me wonder.. is it worth it?
Now it might seem
So close to perfect..
Perfectly fine
like I say I've always been.
Though you know I've never been.
Nov 6, 2018
Nov 6, 2018 at 2:54 PM UTC
Rest assured of your demeanor
a presence that once seemed so kind
As I look deeper and deeper
I still cannot find your reasoning to lie
Silence sheilds and hides
you away from me
Another day beside you
Another day lost to night
Is there any way I could break through?
I can't escape your frame of mind
All I know
All that I shown
To you ..exposed
Still feel Unknown.
Nov 5, 2018
Nov 5, 2018 at 3:12 AM UTC
So opposite
Till we meet ourselves.
Then forget the pain
We felt in loneliness..
Still making scars.
The pain exists..
And made these scars.
The pain exists...
Inside both of us who still
Say "it doesn't hurt!"
STRUCK, you can taste the blood
Still it doesn't change
the me in you..
You hate the me in you!
I hate the you in me!
But we can't deny
This hurt.
We're in a world of such hurt.
Stealing the meaning
Of the life you had.
And killing the dreams..
Once inside your head.
Leaving scars..
The pain in depth
So deep it scars.
The pain exists..
Inside both of us who
Can't stop when they taste the blood
Polar opposites
Besides the fact
I'm facing you in me
I hate the you in me
You the hate the me you
And we can't deny
This world
I have to be in with you
Hurts.
Oct 12, 2018
Oct 12, 2018 at 11:03 PM UTC
Unfolding and revealing
Each costly word still staining
Apposed to sweet sustaining
It feels me as it sinks in
The deeper grows this feeling
What do I bleed
Will I live
In this pain
I know
I needed
Aug 16, 2018
Aug 16, 2018 at 2:47 PM UTC
Each day must forgive me for what I do and what I've done.
My minds full of empty and at times will come undone.
But the nights soothe and save me from myself.
Mistaking me for someone else. Someone who once was but is now gone, leaving me bits to hang on to and no I won't let go.
Though im losing grip of them slow. See it's all a shame-
Less life I maintain. Nothing ever stays quite the same.
Gone through the motions with emotion. Taking more than time to spend. So alive then yet again..
Never mind me I'm still livin.
Jul 14, 2018
Jul 14, 2018 at 8:43 PM UTC