Sa isang saglit ako'y tila nasa ulap
at pa lutang lutang habang ako'y dumadaan
Sa gaan ng aking pakiramdam
at sa munting ligayang di inaasahan
Kahit sa isang maigsing sandali, ako'y puno ng buhay
na tila bang lahat ng problema'y naglaho
Sa isang saglit ako'y nakaramdam ng pagmamahal
mula sa isang taong akala ko'y mapapaakin
Ngunit ito'y isang panaginip na laging babagabag sa aking damdamin
Isang saglit lamang ito
Isang araw ay maglalaho na parang bula
Hinding hindi kita mapapaakin
Siguro hindi tayo itinakda ng tadhana
Siguro hanggang dito na lang talaga tayo
Hindi mo kayang ibigay ng buo ang pagmamahal na kailangan ko
Hindi mo kayang pantayan ang pag-ibig na binibigay ko
Buong puso ko nilaan sa lahat ng aking sulatin
Sa lahat ng tula, pagkanta, pagsayaw
Nandoon ang buong puso kong nagmamahal sayo
Ngunit kahit anong pulit, hanggang dito na lang talaga
Pero ayos lang iyon
Kahit sa isang munting saglit naibuhos ko ang puso ko
Kahit sa isang saglit naramdaman kong magmahal
Walang bagay sa mundo ang kayang pumalit doon
Ikaw ay nagsilbing ilaw sa mundo kong madilim
Kahit walang pag-asa, lagi kitang tatanggapin
Bukas ang aking kamay at puso para sayo
Ngunit hindi na kitang kayang mahalin ng tulad ng dati
Kailangan kong umusad sa aking panaginip
Hinding hindi na maibabalik
Salamat sa lahat ng pag-ibig na aking naramdaman
Isa ka sa taong nasa puso ko lagi
Siguro ito ay isang pagsara ng parte ng buhay ko
Salamat sa lahat ng natutunan ko sayo
Jan 12, 2021
Jan 12, 2021 at 2:39 PM UTC
Hold me as if today would be the last
don't lose sight of everything that we have
everyday has been wonderful
don't let me let go of something as beautiful as this
All of the days I've spent with you were the greatest
each day my heart fills up with joy that no one can explain
you've been like my best friend, my partner
you mean a lot more to me that you think you know
Never was there a dull moment between us both
you make me smile, laugh and cry in a good way
never have I felt alone when I talk to you
you brought out the best in me like no one has ever had
Slowly but surely, I've grown more and more into you
honesty and transparency has been my thing
everyday, I tell you how thankful I am and what I feel about you
but always remember that no matter what happens, I'll always be with you
Dec 9, 2020
Dec 9, 2020 at 8:42 AM UTC
Days turn to hours, minutes turn to seconds
Who would've thought that a simple college girl like me would meet someone incredible
In a simple glance, I knew there was something with you
Like I felt that we were destined to meet at some point in our lives
You're than what meets the eye
You're funny, caring, smart, witty, and fun to be with
Honestly, you're a total package
You're also kind, sweet, and loving
How can I forget that?
Perhaps time always meant something
The timing was always perfect with you
I never felt as if I needed to pretend for a minute
All I was is authentic to you
I've given myself a million reasons to hold back
I've told myself a thousand times that it's not time yet
But slowly, my heart keeps opening up to you
You've seen me in ways no one ever has and you have no idea about it
It's always been so crazy for me that you've made me feel calm
You've always given me reasons to believe in myself as if I can do anything in life
You've made my heart flutter a million times in the past months and I can't seem to tell you
I'm afraid that perhaps you don't feel the same way as me
Perhaps you have someone else in your life as what always happens to me
It's the fear of being broken that has kept me from you
It's the fear that has made me say the words "I love you" in whispers
I'm afraid how you'd respond to it
I told you countless of times that I've dreamt about us
I've dreamt of being with you in my safe place
I've dreamt of nightmares and you were always my safe place
Whatever I'm afraid of, other than that, you made me feel safe
But I could never tell you that I've dreamt about you kissing me
It was always a secret so hard to keep
It was like a complete fantasy that made my heart ache for you
I wanted so badly for it to be real
I wanted you beside me for once so I can hold you tight
But what can I do with this distance?
We're miles away from each other and I can never reach you
I can only fantasize all of this in my head
Is this all we'll ever be?
Cause I hope not
You mean the world to me
You mean more than you think you do
I don't want to hide anymore
I really want to be with you
And I really love you
Nov 24, 2020
Nov 24, 2020 at 5:00 AM UTC
Often times I'd stop and think what you really mean to me.
Do I love you as much as I claim to?
Or do I crave the feeling of someone who appreciates me for me?
Or I just want to feel what I feel for you?
In silence, I give myself a thousand reasons to let go
But in loudness, I give myself a million reasons to hold on.
One day, you'd be there and make me feel like I'm flying
The next, I keep staring at the screen waiting for you to acknowledge I'm here.
Am I just a pastime to cheer you up in this cruel world we're in?
Or did you really ever care about me like you say you do?
I can't find the right words to ask you
But I keep looking at your actions and tell myself "this is what it is"
I can feel my heart break a little at the thought of it.
I thought that despite this mess of a life, I found someone I can love
You gave me the strength to still hope for the better
You taught me that life is still beautiful even with all the mess
Was that all for nothing?
Were your words filled with lies?
Were all your promises a mere fragment of my imagination?
Were you not someone I hoped you were?
I wish I could tell my heart to stop
But you keep pulling me back in
I can no longer escape this cage I'm in.
Jul 15, 2020
Jul 15, 2020 at 2:44 PM UTC
Dear soulmate of mine,
Everyday I dream about the days I'll spend with you
Each passing moment, I try to think of you
I wonder how you are doing in this world
If you're with someone who doesn't see your worth
I'm dying to meet you someday
I can't wait to wear this beautiful wedding dress
I can't wait to walk down the aisle in the arms of my father
I can't wait to see your tear stained face while waiting at the altar
I can't wait until I'm completely yours
I can't wait for our honeymoon where we make love beneath the moonlit sky
I can't wait to hear your soft breaths as you sleep beside me
I can't wait to wake up holding you close
I can't wait to kiss your lips and say "I love you" all the time
I can't wait until I get to bear your children
All these thoughts in my head make my heart flutter
But I can't stop thinking if I have met you already
If we've crossed paths before and I have let you go
I wonder if we've met and I've hurt you in the worst way possible
If I did, are you still willing to accept me?
I wonder if this fantasy is just something I make up in my mind
That all my anxiety comes rushing at the thought of you
I wanted so badly to be yours
What if I failed in this lifetime?
Will we cross paths again?
If you knew the demons I kept inside my head,
Will you still love me, then?
If you knew the pain I'm capable of giving,
Will you still want me, then?
Am I still worth it for you?
I'm scared to know if it's yes or no
I'm scared to know the truth and end up hurting myself again
I can't feel the same pain I felt the past few years of my life
It took me so long to be who I am today
Will you still want me?
Of course, you would and why should I worry?
You are the person who was meant to complete me
You are the missing piece in my messed up life
You were always meant to find me regardless of my past
You were created to be with someone like me
I'm just a messed up girl with little to offer
But I can promise you I can give you my heart
It may be broken and bruised because of all the mistakes I've made
But, I promise, my love, I tried to fix it for you
I tried to piece it together for you
I can't give you the world but I can promise to give you the real me
No filters, just my whole self
I promised to offer this to you
Including the beautiful vow I've written in my head for you
You are worth it for me
I am counting on the days until you're officially mine
Someday we'll get there in the perfect time
Sincerely, me
May 8, 2020
May 8, 2020 at 5:32 PM UTC
Wondering in the dead of night
Our silent screams echoes in the distance
Wondering who will make the first move
As our eyes are trapped in some form of trance
My bet was you
As your eyes searched through mine
Your innocence and your shyness start to drift apart
You were just a mere boy from my imagination
Yet there you are standing right in front of me
Hoping this is what it should be
My heart is beating out of my chest
As you come closer to me with all this intensity inside of you
My head is reeling and my hands are shaking
With each step you take, I am closer and closer to your heart
I start to wonder what I did to deserve this
Yesterday, I fell deeply in love with you
Your sincerity, I could feel even from miles apart
Your words get me in a daze, dreaming of a life I wish I had
Your songs keep echoing in my head like a thousand hummingbirds singing to me
But your figure etching in my head like some sort of masterpiece I've known by heart
Our lips dance with the melody of music brought about our hearts
The constant beating of two drums, beating at the same rate
The type of music I could listen to for a lifetime
I knew what this meant to me
I knew what I wish this could be
The night goes by in heavenly bliss
Every inch of me explored and opened up for your entertainment
Each part of my soul offered in exchange for your heart
As each second passes by, our hearts are united as one
Each moment has been recorded in my mind
As it all ends, you drift in a deep sleep
As I look at every inch of you, my heart fills with delight
You are the one I have been waiting for
You are the man I have been longing for
Next thing I know, the sweet tears I've waited to come start to drip
Another minute passes and I stop to think
"Will tomorrow be the same as this?"
May 6, 2020
May 6, 2020 at 3:15 PM UTC
A million words or so it seems
Of broken hearts and broken dreams
Neither of which you have no start
But it remains there inside your heart
A thousand miles you wish to sail
Hundreds of letters you wish to mail
You took the path and left alone
Longing for the treasure you have been shown
You lost your strength to keep the fight
You thought you had an end in sight
But a pretty maiden or so it seems
Keeps pushing you to pursue your dreams
You know that it is not too late
Keep pushing forward to find your fate
Someday soon you'll be able to see
A beautiful future for you and me
You know that people believe in you
I know you believe you can too
Apr 26, 2020
Apr 26, 2020 at 5:18 PM UTC
Late January when we first met
I was in some kind of darkness I can never forget
You have been all sad and blue
All you wanted was someone to talk to
I thought hours later you would forget me
I thought you were like everyone else I set free
But you stayed with me until the break of dawn
You taught me that my heart can still be sewn
I told you my secrets, I told you my white lies
I told you the reasons I read through the lines
Still, you chose to see beyond that
You chose to sit in the seat where I sat
You told me about the pain I went through
You told me everything you saw through
My broken heart started to build its pieces
It even straightened out the creases
How you did all of that amazes me
You can see things I couldn't see
I'm thankful that I have met you
Because I know you have been true
Every slow love song now reminds me of you
And now, I just feel so brand new
Apr 26, 2020
Apr 26, 2020 at 3:44 PM UTC
You kissed me underneath the moonlit sky
I sat there wondering why
We were mere friends hanging out
Why do I feel like I want to shout?
One... Two... Three seconds go by
I don't even feel like I want to fly
You won't stop kissing me
Is this what is supposed to be?
Your lips leave mine and move to my neck
Now I'm starting to feel like such a wreck
The sweet butterscotch taste, I can't comprehend
When is this going to end?
Your hand keeps moving south
And now I can taste you in my mouth
My head feels as if the world is spinning
I can't comprehend what's happening?
I'm frozen in fear
I stopped having the ability to hear
It keeps going on like a scene in a movie
All that you keep saying is "sorry"
I waited a few until you started to stop
Now I know my heart just dropped
Apr 6, 2020
Apr 6, 2020 at 2:42 PM UTC
Summer, Day 1.
Do you know how much I love you?
One day you will.
One day you will.
I haven't even seen you yet,
but I am so in love with you.
When the time comes for us to finally be together, I will drive us somewhere outside this concrete jungle to ask you that. Then I will tell you to look at the stars, and you will try to count them, even if you already know that not enough stars were created to compare it to.
Darling, I dance and I sing and I shake in delight at the thought of being with you. I'm a morning person now, because I know that every waking moment is one day closer to forever.
Summer, Day 2.
I have sworn to save every part of this heart for you. I've loved before, but not like this. Not like this. My stone-heart now made flesh beats as if I'd just been born, as if I'd been made to love and to be loved by you.
Summer, Day 3.
I can't believe you chose me. I can't believe I'm going to get to marry you. We've got quite a long way to go, but I'm already preparing, making sure my dress will be as white as snow, every hair in place, this heart pure and this body untouched until the day I put my hand in yours. I can't wait to see your face when I walk down the aisle. I promise to be the perfect bride, your perfect bride.
Fall, Day 1.
I might not write as much as I did during the summer. Life has been getting busier and busier, but I want you to know that I still love you as much as I did from the first day.
Fall, Day 46.
I've been spending quite a bit of time with someone. He's clever and says the most interesting things. I feel like we will never run out of words to say to one another. We talk everyday, and the funny thing is sometimes I feel my day isn't complete yet if we haven't spoken. Don't worry, my heart is still yours. Just thought I'd let you know.
Fall, Day 52.
I think I love him, but just a little bit. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut an inch off of my heart to give to him. It's just an inch less. Surely you won't mind.
Fall, Day 80.
He's been with someone else this entire time. It's a good thing I gave him only an inch of my heart, but the rest is bruised. Don't worry, darling, I'll have it fixed in time.
Fall, Day 100.
It's still beating, but barely. Maybe I should love a little again. Maybe some warmth will do this heart good.
Winter, Day 15.
I think... I gave a little too much.
Winter, Day 50.
My latest disaster said my heart was something worth waiting for. Apparently his second hands tick faster than the usual. He left, taking more than I expected he would.
Winter, Day 65.
Is a heart supposed to look like this?
Winter, Day 90.
I can no longer hear it beating steadily. Some parts have frozen. I have tried to stitch pieces back together and they hold... if you would call it that. There are scars and cuts that haven't healed, swollen bits from the wounds that were infected because I tried to save the poison only to have it lash out and bite me in the back.
Winter, Day 104.
What have I done?
Winter, Day 135.
Look at it. No wait, don't. There isn't anything left to give you, anything worthy enough to even stand in your shadow. I promised you everything now I give you nothing. You waited for me yet I pursued others, consumed by my lust and my pride, where can I hide that I myself will not see this mess of a heart I've created? Where can I run to that I will not have to see the look on your face when you see what I have left to give you? Do you still want this, this broken vessel, this torn up heart, all the pieces that don't fit, all the stitched up parts? Do you still want me?
Spring, Day 1.
You do.
Spring, Day 3.
You do because you knew what you were getting yourself into long before you met me, you knew I would break your heart yet you still asked for mine, you do because you are love itself. A death defeating, grave shaking, forgiving, full of grace and mercy, life and righteousness kind of love. This is the love that chose me. Now I choose you.
Spring, Day 5.
What have I done to deserve this? As far as the east is from the west, so you have cleared my offense. When others asked for me, they knelt on one knee but you asked nailed to a tree. Now here you are. Despite what I've done you want me to return to you, want me to still have you. And you know what?
Spring, Day 7.
I do. And I give my heart to you in absolute surrender and total abandon. Here, though broken and torn, take it and make it new.
It was yours all along. I was yours all along.
Apr 2, 2020
Apr 2, 2020 at 10:52 AM UTC