queues - Hello Poetry

Devotion is an anchor, pulling and unrelenting Gratitude slips in, a lonely mother Blessing and smiling Hoping and surviving. Admiration is my sword; My sharp edge against resentment. Where I could have been; Would have been And the sadness folded within. The love I give outweighs The incessant preachings of all that is wrong. Hopelessly tethered to you Because punishment is my purpose. Anger stretches, crawling across eternity Slowly swallowing time as it comes back around And watches itself walk into the trap. The supple indignation From physically being where my mental is not; From emotionally screaming while outwardly being docile All the while– Lobotomized childlike tantrums shoving aside the wisdom for a petty resolve. the sun never bled into the sea; She rose and sank with nothing changing at all. Here in this love Virtue is perverted Inverted wishes just to not die Disruptive to the otherwise meditative Collaborative effort to be ignorant Where bliss is the open wound that only complains.

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Nov 27, 2025

Nov 27, 2025 at 9:44 PM UTC

Tethered

Devotion is an anchor, pulling and unrelenting Gratitude slips in, a lonely mother Blessing and smiling Hoping and surviving. Admiration is my sword; My sharp edge against resentment. Where I could have been; Would have been And the sadness folded within. The love I give outweighs The incessant preachings of all that is wrong. Hopelessly tethered to you Because punishment is my purpose. Anger stretches, crawling across eternity Slowly swallowing time as it comes back around And watches itself walk into the trap. The supple indignation From physically being where my mental is not; From emotionally screaming while outwardly being docile All the while– Lobotomized childlike tantrums shoving aside the wisdom for a petty resolve. the sun never bled into the sea; She rose and sank with nothing changing at all. Here in this love Virtue is perverted Inverted wishes just to not die Disruptive to the otherwise meditative Collaborative effort to be ignorant Where bliss is the open wound that only complains.

30

I gave you the softest parts of me— not to be etched with your absence, but to be held like something sacred. You mistook my silence for surrender, my patience for permission to translate my worth into your dialect of deficiency. I kept shrinking, hoping you'd stop asking me to stretch into shapes that broke me. But even silence thundered when it was you echoing inside it. You wanted me holy— while you played god with my peace. But where was the audit? Where was the reckoning for all the times I arrived as more than you deserved and still left with less than I needed? I begged the universe for balance, and it gave me you— a lesson wrapped in longing, a storm disguised as stillness. I wore almost like a second skin. until it blistered: almost loved, almost safe, almost enough. Now, I gather the fragments— not to rebuild you, but to remember me. Because healing isn’t ornamental, but it’s mine. And this time, I won’t apologize for the fire that finally burned you out of me. I’m tired of drowning in the shape of someone else’s healing, tired of being the altar where guilt is laid like offerings. So I take— not out of want, but necessity. To stop giving to ghosts who never learned how to stay. This time, I light the match, watch the echoes burn.

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Sep 9, 2025

Sep 9, 2025 at 12:56 AM UTC

the reckoning of echoes

I gave you the softest parts of me— not to be etched with your absence, but to be held like something sacred. You mistook my silence for surrender, my patience for permission to translate my worth into your dialect of deficiency. I kept shrinking, hoping you'd stop asking me to stretch into shapes that broke me. But even silence thundered when it was you echoing inside it. You wanted me holy— while you played god with my peace. But where was the audit? Where was the reckoning for all the times I arrived as more than you deserved and still left with less than I needed? I begged the universe for balance, and it gave me you— a lesson wrapped in longing, a storm disguised as stillness. I wore almost like a second skin. until it blistered: almost loved, almost safe, almost enough. Now, I gather the fragments— not to rebuild you, but to remember me. Because healing isn’t ornamental, but it’s mine. And this time, I won’t apologize for the fire that finally burned you out of me. I’m tired of drowning in the shape of someone else’s healing, tired of being the altar where guilt is laid like offerings. So I take— not out of want, but necessity. To stop giving to ghosts who never learned how to stay. This time, I light the match, watch the echoes burn.

49

i just wanted something normal something that made life make a little more sense but since you have no inkling on the meaning of what peace is and love seems to be the bane of your existence insistent on making me suffer you. my love for you, a redeeming quality to be a blessing for a curse each day seems to be worse with a random sparkling moment just to hold me hostage longer. i thought i was stronger and you seem to brighten when i fail to enlighten; when i am my vulnerable self. who hurt you? because now you are the poster child for why i need to heal. and theres nothing gracious about breaking: clawing me down just to prove you're real.

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Aug 20, 2025

Aug 20, 2025 at 12:20 AM UTC

MIMS

i just wanted something normal something that made life make a little more sense but since you have no inkling on the meaning of what peace is and love seems to be the bane of your existence insistent on making me suffer you. my love for you, a redeeming quality to be a blessing for a curse each day seems to be worse with a random sparkling moment just to hold me hostage longer. i thought i was stronger and you seem to brighten when i fail to enlighten; when i am my vulnerable self. who hurt you? because now you are the poster child for why i need to heal. and theres nothing gracious about breaking: clawing me down just to prove you're real.

18

i dont like the feelings you give me like discarded gifts with ripped wrapping paper, a "sorry" and a promise for more later. anger builds like a carpenter early in the morning restructuring and stabilizing walls i put up for people like you, and i knew but here i am. always relying on the world outside myself to lend a hand. and god **** can i breathe please? suffocating on everything you think i should be where's the spiritual audit? where's karma? where's the righteous accounting for being everything i said i was, for not doing the things you think i did, and for not dying. no cameras to show how ****** up this all is, no one to hold my hand tightly as they say what i really needed to hear two years ago: NOT THIS ONE.

0

Jun 10, 2025

Jun 10, 2025 at 8:54 PM UTC

not the one

i dont like the feelings you give me like discarded gifts with ripped wrapping paper, a "sorry" and a promise for more later. anger builds like a carpenter early in the morning restructuring and stabilizing walls i put up for people like you, and i knew but here i am. always relying on the world outside myself to lend a hand. and god **** can i breathe please? suffocating on everything you think i should be where's the spiritual audit? where's karma? where's the righteous accounting for being everything i said i was, for not doing the things you think i did, and for not dying. no cameras to show how ****** up this all is, no one to hold my hand tightly as they say what i really needed to hear two years ago: NOT THIS ONE.

15

I wake up creaking, stiff and wanting to cry, from pain or sadness, I'm not sure. I wake up not here: still dancing in lilac fields where nothing seems to matter, where you disappear and my stress follows. I wake up not wanting to; wishing I could turn over and rock myself back to oblivion. I wake up cursing and I know it's a new day. I know the sun comes back around but fate seems like a ************ and it won't let me in am I going to be great or am I just here? I wake up waiting.

0

May 28, 2025

May 28, 2025 at 7:48 PM UTC

when i wake up

I wake up creaking, stiff and wanting to cry, from pain or sadness, I'm not sure. I wake up not here: still dancing in lilac fields where nothing seems to matter, where you disappear and my stress follows. I wake up not wanting to; wishing I could turn over and rock myself back to oblivion. I wake up cursing and I know it's a new day. I know the sun comes back around but fate seems like a ************ and it won't let me in am I going to be great or am I just here? I wake up waiting.

20

When existing is the same as breathing in water Drowning, sinking to the bottom of the deepest sea As the sun gets tired from making everyone else shine And dips her weakened toes into the depths of what is Slipping past what could be and slumbering At the edge of every river i’ve cried Trying to be more than the dead end of the void.

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May 22, 2025

May 22, 2025 at 10:54 PM UTC

Why am i here?

When existing is the same as breathing in water Drowning, sinking to the bottom of the deepest sea As the sun gets tired from making everyone else shine And dips her weakened toes into the depths of what is Slipping past what could be and slumbering At the edge of every river i’ve cried Trying to be more than the dead end of the void.

7

I am here And that baffles me How much longer Must i fake; Must i lie like i Love to love the love we love Thats in love because love is a mask that never was. I am what i am And that baffles them How much longer Will i die inside Writhing and screaming Waiting for the world to be what it should be and end. Like a pickup line to my sanity Ill rip through the void; Ill crack; burst apart eventually. What fears ail me So intangible yet enshrouding Blinding me as i walk the coals Of your speech and reverie Is it your life im shamelessly Crouching in the corner of? Is it your soul im eating Snake end to end Unraveling and racing towards the beginning Just to be at the end.

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Apr 22, 2025

Apr 22, 2025 at 7:15 PM UTC

I am here

I am here And that baffles me How much longer Must i fake; Must i lie like i Love to love the love we love Thats in love because love is a mask that never was. I am what i am And that baffles them How much longer Will i die inside Writhing and screaming Waiting for the world to be what it should be and end. Like a pickup line to my sanity Ill rip through the void; Ill crack; burst apart eventually. What fears ail me So intangible yet enshrouding Blinding me as i walk the coals Of your speech and reverie Is it your life im shamelessly Crouching in the corner of? Is it your soul im eating Snake end to end Unraveling and racing towards the beginning Just to be at the end.

26

i wanna go to sleep and never wake up i want the world to stop, to halt mid spin and breathe me into the nothing, the black abyss that awaits deaths kiss, and id beg to be released to be let go of break me so i can go home **** whats left of my sanity so i can check out and never come back again.

0

Mar 22, 2025

Mar 22, 2025 at 9:50 PM UTC

can i go now?

i wanna go to sleep and never wake up i want the world to stop, to halt mid spin and breathe me into the nothing, the black abyss that awaits deaths kiss, and id beg to be released to be let go of break me so i can go home **** whats left of my sanity so i can check out and never come back again.

13

you disrupt me I'm feeling too much at once I'm feral but only where you cant see the line between what makes you and what hates me is too close unsteady in the corners that shielded me hoping they protect me from what has always eaten away at me I give too much I feel in infinities "Some infinities are bigger than..." I wished and I prayed but hope seems to lag passive aggressively sailing on by demanding I switch to live urging that the way to combat the will to give is to take.

0

Mar 17, 2025

Mar 17, 2025 at 8:55 PM UTC

to take

you disrupt me I'm feeling too much at once I'm feral but only where you cant see the line between what makes you and what hates me is too close unsteady in the corners that shielded me hoping they protect me from what has always eaten away at me I give too much I feel in infinities "Some infinities are bigger than..." I wished and I prayed but hope seems to lag passive aggressively sailing on by demanding I switch to live urging that the way to combat the will to give is to take.

19

Veiled wounds in the mind A tired soul cant use honey to catch the flies Too many attempts, blood flows when she tries A mirage of water in a desert; The illusion of calm serenity Parched and starving on your ideology I sit wading in the dark, impatiently. What darkness spills forth now As the disillusionment wanes What power in the emptiness The numb causality of being callously tamed: A caged animal will bite the hand that bleeds it.

0

Mar 15, 2025

Mar 15, 2025 at 9:57 PM UTC

caged

Veiled wounds in the mind A tired soul cant use honey to catch the flies Too many attempts, blood flows when she tries A mirage of water in a desert; The illusion of calm serenity Parched and starving on your ideology I sit wading in the dark, impatiently. What darkness spills forth now As the disillusionment wanes What power in the emptiness The numb causality of being callously tamed: A caged animal will bite the hand that bleeds it.

12