If you are a suicide survivor
Inbox me your name
And I’ll add it to my tattoos of others
You guys mean the world to me
And I have my own name on my arm
Because I too, am a suicide survivor.
May 27, 2018
May 27, 2018 at 12:53 AM UTC
I met a friend today
His name was Death
He smiled big with pure white teeth
And minty fresh breath
I asked him what he did for a living
Staring blankly at me, batting his eyelashes
He did the opposite of giving
What did that mean?
But the closer I got to Death
The better I understood his scheme
In his sharp black suit he won me over
I felt an irresistible draw
Like to a diamond in the rough, or a four leaf clover
He convinced me of the beauty in the night
That when the moon was hidden from view
There was nothing better than the lack of light
He led me from my lust for life
Sang to me in my sleep
Whispered sweet nothings and handed me the knife
I tried to pull away from my newly found friend
But his choke hold was so tight
On him I started to depend
The world could see me deteriorate into nothing
He held me harder and closer
With shortness of breath I stood huffing and puffing
Enclosed in the lackluster of our friendship I became numb
The emotions drifted with my vitality
I tried to retrieve them but could only attain 1/5th of my former sum
The more time you spend with a person
The more you become like them
I suppose I couldn't see the situation worsen
Collar around my neck he leashed me like a dog
I cared so deeply for him
My haze filled mind ignored the dense fog
I came to terms with my life long trap
Death circled like a satellite around my position
No matter where I went he found my place on the map
Eventually I succame to this fate
Despite his control
Death, I could not hate
I loved him too dearly to notice the signs
I couldn't think clearly
His presence was odious and it wasn't benign
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 8:21 PM UTC
my skin is cracked
my stomach an empty sea
my mouth is dry
so sand pours out
my hands are fragile
my eyes tired of searching
my lungs have collapsed
from breathing in
the deadly scorching air
in this desert dry of love
the things we do to keep
ourselves alive and living well
are things i do not forté in
and cannot truly grasp
why eat when i taste nothing
but clay and iron and death
why drink when the water is
barren on my tongue
nothing is as it should be
in this desert dry of love
exhausted, i shrivel away
no rain of thoughts to fuel
on the hot and burning days
the downpour never comes
so nothing grows on the terrain
there is only a sandstorm
it curls around
swirling
eroding
in this desert dry of love
this desert
dry dry desert
heats me to the core
and makes me into nothing
i am but a mound of ugly
common clay once more
easily shattered
fractured
destroyed
in this desert dry of love
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 2:49 PM UTC
butterflies
and candy lies
that’s what your
silver tongue fed me
gobbling it up
i became fat,
greedy, and dependent
on your honeyed deceit
believing in that
sweet, kind voice
i was stuck in
your trap of golden tar
unknowingly, i was dying
suffocating
starving
trying to cut
my way out of
your sticky grasp
now, i’m finally free
and i’ll never let
myself taste that
false manna again
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 2:47 PM UTC
rocks get worn
clothes become tired
people do as well
the skies go dark
the oceans toss and turn
in the night
just as i do
in my nightmare-filled slumber
******* is thrown away
fires die out
just as the burning passion
of love that others promise
flowers wilt with time
decomposed and shriveled
just as i have become
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 2:46 PM UTC
please don’t lean on me
i’ll crumble beneath you
and no one is willing to
help pick me up again
so please don’t lean on me
because i can't afford
to fall down again
May 26, 2018
May 26, 2018 at 2:39 PM UTC
blood running down
my unshaven legs
disgusting and hairy
deserving of
gashes and scars and pain
deserving of hatred
deserving of starvation
those numbers 115
dont just magically
appear on the scale
my attempt at cutting
away the fat,
ugliness failed
now im left
watching the wine
pour out of my skin
down the drain
May 9, 2018
May 9, 2018 at 8:22 PM UTC
walls built up high
they're supposed to protect
against the ocean of my mind
i let you in
let you see my thoughts
and you overwhelmed me
the waves started crashing
i started slipping under
drowning
Feb 1, 2018
Feb 1, 2018 at 9:41 PM UTC
bone chilling moments
aren't what they seem to be.
my body resembles a corpse,
freezing to the tips of my toes,
with an ice cold heart
beating just enough to keep me alive.
i'm a dead girl walking,
littered in lanugo and
blue bruised, broken ribs,
and paper thin skin
caving in on itself
as if collapsing is inevitable.
bile inhabits my stomach,
yet hunger will always be
the second most important anyway.
pink, swollen cheeks are
replaced by hollow caverns
not even bears want to enter.
"i am an iceberg drifting to
the edge of the map,"
a girl who wants to be real-
but can't.
the blizzard winds in my head
have become too heavy to thaw out
and i can slowly feel my carcass of a body
cast away with the rest of my past.
i am gone.
i am free.
Dec 19, 2017
Dec 19, 2017 at 11:26 PM UTC
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that doesn't mean I wear black makeup. I don't wear contrasting black eyeliner upon white foundation. I've already contrasted myself enough from the rest of society.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that doesn't mean I cut my wrists with razor sharp blades. I don't create lines because that lets people scan my red barcode, only further proving that they own me.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that does not mean I want to guzzle all the bleach I can. I don't want to corrode my physical insides as much as others have corroded my spiritual insides.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No that doesn't mean I want to hang myself from a ceiling fan. That would only break my neck, only adding to the number of wounds from the countless times people have beaten me down with their words.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that does not mean in a life or death situation, I will just lay down and accept my inevitable demise.
Hi. I'm depressed.
No, that doesn't mean I want to die. That means I'm not afraid of death.
Dec 6, 2017
Dec 6, 2017 at 11:50 PM UTC