There will be tears, he sang
Water disguised blood
flooding at the brim of an eye
Gathering pain and hurt
Inconsistent feelings of nothing-happy
Rivers, streams, lakes,
Waterfalls gushing down
Racing drops dripping down heated cheeks
Then broken with shallow coldness
Aches reaching in between cracked skin
Dead rose petals
Falling away from thorn burst stems
Crisp at the tips,
Light in weight until gathered heavily
at the palm of a weak hand
Stained with the mark of blood lines at a wrist
Deranged and shaking while hopelessly gazing
at the happiness laid in a deathbed before you
Sinking teardrops moistening jean pockets
Drip, drip
Another drop
Falling off a water bruised face
May 13, 2020
May 13, 2020 at 5:22 AM UTC
Heartbreak rules
Because love is cruel
We're all taken as fools
And that's the awful truth
Nostalgia dominates feelings in my mind
And amnesia is an open gate I cannot find
I wanna forget about you so bad
That it's even become sad
I can't move on
And that's because my feet are glued on
I'm stuck on you
I can't move on
I take narcotics and cannibis
Because it's you that I miss
Been on it since '06
And for a second, I think it's not a fix
I'm still broken
No longer outspoken
I'm just soaking
In my tears
Drunk off my fears
For all these years
Been so hooked
I even started to crook
I'm a mess, don't look
But here's a book
Flip each page and read about me
Open my chapters and end with my notes
Take a look at what I wrote
Buy my words because I'm broke
But don't give me cash
Just blink your lash
And believe that I stayed woke
I'm stuck on you,
And I said that without a choke
All this is genuine
Just leave me with a win
Victory over your heart
It's pure art
It's making me feel something
So fine!
Please understand
I still want you
I'm still hooked on you
It was unintentional
I needed a break
I came on vacation
Left on probation
The drugs keep me moving
But not away from this situation
You say I'm crazy
But you're the only one that can keep me calm
Take me in your arms
And flatter me with your charm
I know I ****** up
But don't look me down
Just blink your lash
And believe that I stayed woke
I'm stuck on you,
And I said that without a choke
All this is genuine
Just leave me with a win
Victory over your heart
It's pure art
It's making me feel something
So fine
I understand
... that you don't want me back
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 9:13 PM UTC
There will be tears, he sang
Water disguised blood
flooding at the brim of an eye
Gathering pain and hurt
Inconsistent feelings of nothing-happy
Rivers, streams, lakes,
Waterfalls gushing down
Racing drops dripping down heated cheeks
Then broken with shallow coldness
Aches reaching in between cracked skin
Dead rose petals
Falling away from thorn burst stems
Crisp at the tips,
Light in weight until gathered heavily
at the palm of a weak hand
Stained with the mark of blood lines at a wrist
Deranged and shaking while hopelessly gazing
at the happiness laid in a deathbed before you
Sinking teardrops moistening jean pockets
Drip, drip
Another drop
Falling off a water bruised face
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 9:09 PM UTC
And I can sometimes feel myself
spiralling down the stairs of your heart
Slowly drawing away from the affection
we once intertwined our fingers to
Like,
Is anything ever enough for you?
My deepest fear was by far losing you
but at this point in time I think
my deepest fear was actually losing myself
through loving you
I drew a picture of my self portrayed as an attachment
beside your being on canvas
That was my first mistake
Being an attachment and not an asset
Being an attachment and not a soulmate
Being an attachment instead of being a part of you
You let me grow onto your skin like fungus
refusing to scrap away from your abuse
in belief that that’s how we’re supposed to be handled
You left me mistreated as if abandonment was the definition of my name
And although I may seem like the stupid one here
the reality is that I was only blind
You played all your cards right
with the all so attractive face
I saw your lips constantly promise me lies
and that’s when I knew for sure that
the three special words that are most often used,
are rather quite abused and in many times by you
That it’s people of your replica who
**** out the saucy meaning from pleasures
and scrap away it’s taste
Both when it comes to words
and when it comes to sacrifice
I gave up my purity
for the desire of your heart and
for the feel of your touch
It’s quite sad and rather embarrassing
to realise how mislead I was
A dog, I felt like, astray
and pushed away
with plenty of dismay
when I thought I was okay
And even though I can sit here today
and proclaim a testimony,
my prognostication is the continuous witnessing of acrimony
When women generalise that
‘men are trash’,
it’s sad to know that only a few spoiled the rest
Because it’s true that not all are the same
but once so much has been taken away from you,
it’s difficult to try and stay sane
But now, as I keep
spiralling down the stairs of your heart
Slowly drawing away from the affection
we once intertwined our fingers to,
I’ll always remember that it was not only you
who had the souls of our girls
but rather the influence of the ***** grains
that claimed they had the world in the palms of their hands
when really, all they were taught too
was the misinterpreted identity
of what a dominating male is perceived to be like
Mar 19, 2019
Mar 19, 2019 at 9:06 PM UTC
I am a girl
Growing into a woman
Puberty and adolescence
constantly strike my mind and body
and there's nothing
I can do about it
My hips curve out wider
than before
My chest is shaping
into something bulkier
My face seems to get spots
that creme's don't even reduce
My hormones roller coaster
through my mind
and the oestrogen in my blood cells
makes my heart beat
It makes my heart beat
Affectionately,
for those who think
that I'm weak
For those who think
that I'm lame
For those who think
that I'm stupid
For those who think
that me bleeding
through my ****** is disgusting
yet they forcefully *** my body
without my consent and think
that it's fine
How can periods be as disgusting
as ****
Hiding my pad
in my underwear is more than enough
Now locking the fact that I was *****
in my mouth and keeping it
as a very dark secret
might just be too much to hold in
I don't have the strength
to shut my lips about
my crying soul,
the same way
that I don't have the strength
to keep hiding my femininity
God granted me such characteristics
and it'd only be disgraceful
to have an imperfect human
shame His works
The striding hips
that you get attracted to
are the very same ones
that bleed my purity
The very same opening
is the one that the men
of this world ****
How can you be disgusted
by my something so natural
and not by something so violent?
The feminine body
is one that you shame
and have the guts to diss
The feminine body
is the one that you ****
and have the audacity to try and silence
The feminine body
is the one that gave birth to you
and you still have
the guts to undermine it
as inferior
Who do you think you are?
Don't cash crop my temple
Don't **** my body
Don't harass my soul
Don't call me names
Don't judge my figure
AND DO NOT
believe that you're more dominant
than me
because we're both human
and we're both equal beings
I am just a girl
A very beautiful girl
with a smile that's as consoling
as night
A body as beautiful
as the sunset
Eyes as bright
as the moon and the stars
A scent as indulging
as a rose
Skin as smooth
as the fine threads of silk
And a voice
as blissful as the sound of a singing canary
I am a female
I am a girl
I am what you're not
So cherish me
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 5:06 PM UTC
And four white walls
were caving in on me
Feeling claustrophobic in a room all alone
like surrounded by germs
sneaking up in my skin and running through my veins
I'll cry myself sober
'til the darkness escapes my head
Though an empty bottle
lies in the palm of my right hand
that isn't all that's left
With a cigarette between my lips
Unlit
The cancer in my body will crave
it's taste but instead feel it's touch
Deceived
like empty promises
The tears that fall from my eyes
will race down my cheeks
the same way I ran for your love
They'll drip down my chin
The same way you pushed me off the cliff
They'll sink into my jean pockets
The same way my body decomposed into the dirt of the ground
And they'll evaporate
The same way your brain had amnesia over my soul
Oblivion
We're all going to die anyway
But being forgotten was my only fear
Especially by you..
I can't touch heaven,
And that's why I wanted you
Because I know
that there are no good men in this world
that will take me to heaven
thus a bad boy will bring it to me
No silverware cutlery is needed
And no silver platter has to deliver it
Can a soul like mine rest reassured
with a haunting memory
like your smile etched in my head?
Will a soul like mine travel
to the afterlife in confidence
with a warm hand hooked to mine,
like I have nothing to lose
so long as I have you?
When that whiskey had me feeling pretty
the irony is that you were the alcohol
You were the intoxication in my body
that left me overdosed on your perfume
You were the feelings that I bottled up
in fear of spilling you out
You were the bitter sweet smell
that left my eyes staring into the blur
Was it the real or the fake?
Or should I have read in between the lines?
Dec 9, 2018
Dec 9, 2018 at 5:03 PM UTC
Sunny days bring smiles on faces
Girls with ***** shorts and sunglasses
Guys with muscle tops or floral hemps and snapback caps
September 19th was sunny
Well, that's until the clouds acuated the skies
and made all the smile evacuate to dystopia
This was an apocalypse
in my parent's house,
a place I used to call home
My father, Christopher
was the devil, Lucifer
and my mother was an angel with wings-
a delightful servant of Venus,
the goddess of love
Only, she couldn't fly
Not mentally, not physically and definitely not verbally
Her vocal chords were shaking as she passed her voice to my dad
She was the rainbow and sunshine
that was no longer divine
it was cryin’
while the devil was roarin’
as if he was a god
in which he was, but only of hell
He omitted fire but this time, it was cold
So cold that a tornado spun around the dining room
as I sat there, frozen, and watched like a snowman
The pupils of my eight year old eyes
witnessed the ending of a love I thought was immortal
A love that I used to think was magical
and illiterate
A love that formed in two hearts that bided into one
on their own
without the education of authorities
This was apartheid!,
and my parents were illegally married
A white European knight in shining armour
to an African goddess with attractive eyes
I started to believe that my mind
used to be a foolish thrall to the world of perfect love
But now I believe that it’s a vendee
who bought the saying, “love is blind”
I was a child who no longer believed
in the love of mankind
I had trouble finding myself
‘cause faith is to believe what you cannot see
and self-love was nowhere in sight
Now love is something I have to draw
and I cannot neutralize it
with optimism ‘cause my world was at an apocalypse
when the sun was supposed to be out...
Oct 30, 2017
Oct 30, 2017 at 2:13 PM UTC
I watch him sprint as fast as he can
across the tar road
right after dropping his black pistol
that’s just released a bullet that’s hit my stomach
The smell of death suffocates me,
it whispers all the things
I’ll be leaving behind on this earth
I look own at the newly created blood river
that my stomach has just released,
it tickles down my skin
As the warm liquid flows out
a tear escapes my eye
and runs down my cheek
like a raindrop on a window
I tell myself that this is the end
Thoughts race through my mind
about how I’ve lived
and whether I’m going to heaven or hell
or if I should start believing in reincarnation
before it’s too late
I’m going AWOL on everyone
The air is thickening and my chest is weakening
My knees tremble as my hands and feet get numb
My lips slowly turn purple desperately wanting to be violet
As my thoughts twist,
a psychedelic knife stabs
through my chest causing impact
My eyes shut in pain like the effect of a car accident;
quick and sudden yet unexpected
My mind and heart synchronise a stop
having it be the end of me
I lie there lifeless
I’m going AWOL on everyone
Jul 9, 2017
Jul 9, 2017 at 12:05 PM UTC
I'm standing by your grave
and your presence is what I crave
It's you that i wish i could have saved
but right now, all i am is a slave
to all those humans that make me misbehave
Man i wish you here here
just smiling from ear to ear
with a cup full of beer
I swear your presence is what I adhere
I hate the man that ***** you
He's the one that dated you
You trusted him,
but I swear I didn't
I know you've got your reasons
but he gave you unworthy treason
You don't deserve that
I wish I could change that...
We would have been in the park right now
just making jokes and being all loud
or even at the club, dancing in the crowd
just enjoying the beat and sound
Man i miss those days
Just us in our old ways
not caring about what anybody says
and hating work but hoping that it pays
I miss you and your blue eyes
the ones that never told lies
They were so blue like the skies
with tears of peaceful cries
I was hoping that we'd never share goodbyes though
i just miss us
and the stupid stuff
And all those blunts we used to puff
and how we never felt bored
when we were together
I swear I hate that man
He makes my heart sour
It's him that i want to devour
Right now,
we could've been playing in the sand
or just listening to out favourite band
Maybe even planting flowers on this land
I swear I wanna take my hand
and just slap him in the face
It's you that I yearn for
I miss you to the core
I'm even just heart sore
And therefore,
I've come to your grave stone
because I couldn't call you on the phone
I just miss you,
and all that I'm saying is true
Jul 8, 2017
Jul 8, 2017 at 9:26 AM UTC
Your fingertips
Heal me…
Just that soft touch to my face
When my tears stream down my face
Defining that my whole world
Had a hurricane
And that no sunny days
Are approaching
Just the rain
And the wind
And that bad vibe
But you can heal me…
Your fingertips
Have that soft touch
That mends my heart together
Without plasters but with magic
It’s touch turns my hair
Into fine wool
And my skin into soft silk
My eyes then become
Your favourite colour,
Green
And all the rags become riches
And all the tears become
Nourishing water that heals
Only because of your touch
Please heal me
With your fingertips
That lay a soft touch on my body
Just caress the scars
And let them turn to brave soldiers
On my skin that fight back
To whatever tries to hurt me
I don’t want that depression
I don’t want that hurt
I just want your soft touch
I want your fingertips to heal me
I want them to spin my heart into gold
Just like the miller’s daughter with straw
In Rumpelstiltskin
Can you do that?
My back is brutally beaten
With twigs that have thorns
And bullets always pierce
Through my body
But knives constantly stab
Through my heart
Just stabbing
And stabbing
And stabbing
I need that to stop!
My back is hurting
And my body is numbing
But my heart no longer has
Oxygenated blood in it
Will you be able to touch it?
Will you be able to put
Your hand through my chest
And just touch my heart
With your soft bare hands
That feel like cotton candy
Not because it’s healing is sweet
But because it’s healing is gentle
Fact is
That your fingertips heal
They have a soft touch
So soft that they can turn
My heart amnesiac
I need to forget,
But I only need you
And your soft touch
To help me…
Jul 8, 2017
Jul 8, 2017 at 9:10 AM UTC