What a blessing it is that I am here to see this.
Experience, taste, touch life, what bliss.
To see my son everyday, as his curious mind wanders
Asking, exploring, his forefinger up to his top lip as he ponders,
Why is it that I breathe mummy?
Because love created you son, and grew in my tummy,
Cushioned as you made your mission to earth
As you came out from me, mouth open, eyes wide
I didn't know what to do, Daddy held you and cried.
The unknown ****** upon us we took you home
Responsibility flashed before us, we soon had to learn.
We held you, fed you, changed your ***** many, many times
Whilst making changes to you, we also changed our lives
I am not complaining, although I found it hard at first
Didn't take to motherhood as I thought I would, but that is no curse
Through the hard times, things have got easier
I have learnt a lot and you my son have been my teacher,
And today I thank you for that little man
For making me see life isn't a fool proof plan
You never know what is round the corner
You just deal with it in the way that you can.
And here I am at the end of this beautiful day
Sitting here trying to find my way
Life isn't perfect, but it feels good today.
Feb 17, 2011
Feb 17, 2011 at 5:42 AM UTC
Lost Soul, Not Searching
Looking for immediate relief
To cure you for the moment
Of your inner grief
Quick high, no time to cry
numb, false happiness takes over
Everything looks good
When you're climbing the white cliffs of Dover
Sadness hidden, mask protecting
Could be anyone inside
True identities gone for the moment
White blanket does so well to hide
Talk about the impossible
Everything seems so clear
no sign of darkness
only the light is near
Everything is achievable today
But what about tomorrow?
Start descending, blanket lifted
here comes the sorrow
The mask of reality hits
Starkness is a dampener
Mood sets in
Lost feeling returned, positivity is hampered
The possible now seems unachievable
This day now unmanageable
Light dims, darkness returns
Nothing seems obtainable
Not coping,
Once again choosing the direction of oblivion
Where all seems well
No one can tell
That internally you are struggling
Jan 20, 2011
Jan 20, 2011 at 11:59 AM UTC
Love is life and now I know why,
because the love you filled me with carries forth and multiplies.
It ripples traveling freely,
spreading its joy and warmth as it goes.
Like a dainty ballerina swirling on her beautiful delicate silk covered toes,
Lightly skipping in hearts
before she departs
and moves on her journey of eternal love....
Jan 19, 2011
Jan 19, 2011 at 12:50 AM UTC
The beast has taken hold, making its presence felt
twisting a different journey to the one I had imagined.
I had hope, hope that we could drink coffee in the park, have family dinners, take a short walk to a bench, just sit there and enjoy the day, the birds singing, the people passing; the sun beaming down on our faces, but the beast fooled me.
Made me think for a quick second these were possibilities,
how wrong.
Instead it leaves us with moments by the bedside
I bring the outside in by supplying flowers,
bring you lavender to put under your pillow,
I have to bring those moments to you.
We share conversations that go nowhere, you struggle with the words,
I see frustration in your eyes, the beast again making it’s presence felt.
Oh how I love you, it hurts so much but yet I am too at the beast’s mercy,
it dictates what happens next,
we just go along with the ride,
helpless and knowing the journey takes us to one inevitable place.
Jan 18, 2011
Jan 18, 2011 at 2:32 AM UTC