I want a cigarette
I'm panicking again
I love you I do
I promise you
I forgot how to put it into words
I want another cigarette
But I fear for my lungs
So I blow out rings
That'll never fit me
I let the filter sit in the spaces
Saturn will never reach
I love you I do
I promise you
Remember when I drank it slow
You cried but wouldn't let me listen
You cried wolf but I couldn't bring the guns in
You were eaten alive
And even I forgot if we truly tried
I remember the night
Every night
I haven't slept since May
I stay awake dreaming of the vices at bay
It's colder draped in roses
A robe fastened with snakes
It's colder underneath linens
Cotton, worn and dried
I want another cigarette
I want to remember being young
Death is the only true pleasure
Knowing life has won
Won a game, won me over,
Finding every single one
I kiss my friends and lovers the same way
But darkness finds his niche
In the light of day
I'll call you when it's over
A promise I made when we met
Not too soon, I promise again
And I mean every single spark
I love you
I do
I've never lied in spite of you
What does it mean
Please please tell me
I'm afraid of smoking another one
Jul 2, 2016
Jul 2, 2016 at 6:36 AM UTC
I'm a summer day
Sweltering on the edge of May
Oh, I wish I didn't throw my fists
In spite
Of all your songs
They flow so effortlessly through
Something like a laundromat at midnight
Have you ever heard a humdrum sound so
Pure?
Like the waves or the wind or the trees
I've never heard you sing so true
And you've never even heard me sing a tune
Jan 25, 2016
Jan 25, 2016 at 12:42 AM UTC
sorry I lied when I said all I want to do is sleep
I haven’t slept in weeks
That’s a lie too of course
I put in an hour or two inbetween
Lying on the floor or in the tub
I hate the cold
But I didn’t used to
And that isn’t romantic
But things do change
Like the way the stars align and how I perceive death
And how I haven’t met my match
The late night is a song with synths
And the moon sings dream pop songs
About love and rest and the gaping holes planted in the sea
What does that even mean?
When it’s 3am you’re in tune with everything
Jan 5, 2016
Jan 5, 2016 at 3:24 AM UTC
Having no one to love
Makes the heart so lonely
The loss of the pitter-patter
Heartbeat
And butterflies
The Cold War came
And wiped us off the map
Who would've thought
I'd die of a heart attack
When I had no heart at all?
Not really anyway
It was all mind over matter
And I dreamt of you
So what's it going to be?
Doors double locked
And knobby knees
Shaking like I used to
When I played you a song
I never called you by your name
It was never my tongue's to hold
But it was inside this empty heart
This busted bag of bones
Dec 7, 2015
Dec 7, 2015 at 8:15 PM UTC
I write sad songs
About missing your hands in mine
And your breath on my neck
But I've never known it
I've known no one at all
And everyday I'm a butterfly
Busting from a cocoon
And by dawn those wings
They've fallen from me
And I'm no one at all
I sat in my room alone
Longing, fawning
Over superheroes and singer-songwriter types
Cause I love what I hate the most
The little parts of me and what I'll never be
I wrote a letter to a friend, to a lover, to a foe
Licked the seal, kissed its flap,
And sent it on its way
One returned, hollowed through,
And there's two out there I'll never be
Nov 30, 2015
Nov 30, 2015 at 11:15 PM UTC
Fighter jets fly
Shoot me down cold
It was winter in my chest
With fire in my throat
Running on two fingers
I never thought you'd catch me
So open, so bold
No, no
They're out of control
Crashing, spiraling
Twisting down
And all they say,
"You should've known"
Nov 16, 2015
Nov 16, 2015 at 10:20 PM UTC
Pick up the phone
I've heard that dial tone
Over and over
Ringing in my skull
Like your wedding ring
Clinking down the drain
Where were we?
Yes, listen to me
I am so lonely that my bones are aching
There's this weight inside my chest
Yet I'm so hallowed out
This is all I've felt
In months
Do you care?
Where are you now?
I'll tell you all about this
When we meet
In the back of a car
On the side of the street
Waiting to cross
Don't turn and go the other way
Please
I need you know
Where are you now?
The puzzle piece left
Yet I still can't put it down
Nov 16, 2015
Nov 16, 2015 at 10:15 PM UTC
It's a blurred line between
Saturday and Sunday
I want to lie in the street
Or down a bottle of wine
The sun sets on the falling leaves
And I sat in the corner
Watching beyond Me
I wish I knew myself
The way I want you to
I wish I wrote love songs
The way I used
I am so bitter now
I've lived 100 years
I loved none more
Than the rest of us did
(Too many or not at all)
Everyone around me is walking in circles
And I'm trapped in an ellipse
Manic to panic to slow to stop
I used to want a quant life
Cherry red door and Pickett fence
Now I'm so restless
I swim without a backbone
I sleep on sticks and stone
Oct 18, 2015
Oct 18, 2015 at 1:29 AM UTC
where's your ***** mind?
i need it
more than you'd think
you took it and ran
slowly slowly i could've
chased after
you
now we're leaving each other
all this time to die
do you remember the days and night
and the days and the nights
never ending
till we ended it
you're on a different phase of the moon
now
but I hope you come back
to whatever this is
(not was)
an eclipse
or blue moon
oh,
we've got all this time to die
and I don't want to die
without you
Aug 31, 2015
Aug 31, 2015 at 11:10 PM UTC
lower me down
slowly
like ice breaking off a cliff
in the frozen sea
and see it crack
just like me
let me down
gently
like a piano tied with wire and string
so tightly
sliding right through
busted seams
just like me
lay me to rest
soundly
weep like you're forgiven
let me rot in the summer air
bittersweet
let dirt dance on my tongue
and my eyes fill heavily
and forget the bad dreams
and better yet,
reality
Aug 30, 2015
Aug 30, 2015 at 10:43 AM UTC