F:
She sleeps in my single bed. There is a cot set up for her, but she sleeps in my bed. She says she gets cold in the night. I offer to swap but she insists we share. She comments on the little bloodstains on my sheet that are in strange places. I don't tell her how they got there, even though she'd understand.
We got to sleep shoulder to shoulder. I wake every time I turn, to make sure I'm not touching her, not really. Every time I wake up we are touching anyway.
J:
She sits next to me in an auditorium. Her feet are up on the seat in front of her. She wears a jacket year round. We sits next to each other at the computers. Our shoulders and knees knocking together. I make sure not to touch her arms. I don't tell her I know about it. I don't tell her I understand. We ditch our classes. We ride the subway to the end and back to **** time. Our limbs press together, joints bounce off each other.
N:
I sleep in his bed. There is room enough for two, and so we go to sleep only almost touching. Through the night he shifts in his sleep further into the middle of the bed. I wake every time I turn, to make sure I'm not touching him, not really.
I wake and he is on my side of the bed. I wake again and his arm is rested on my side. I turn slowly, carefully, so it is still on me after I turn. I wake in the morning. I turned in my sleep. His arm is still there.
D:
They are in town for the holidays. We talk across the kitchen bar. They agree to tattoo me next time they're here.We all share smokes the whole night, but I *** drags from them the most. Their brand is harsher than I like, but we pass them back and forth anyway.
There is an opening to play Mario Kart. I sit off-centre on the three person couch. They join a minute later, right in the middle. They lean their leg to the side so it touches mine.
We leave at the same time. They walk me to the bus stop and we hug goodbye.
Dec 22, 2020
Dec 22, 2020 at 10:02 PM UTC
I want to climb buildings with you.
We could climb the tallest one
In this godforsaken city.
And we could look out
At the skyline
And sit there for hours
Watching the sun slowly sink
Beneath the jagged lines
And talk about absolutely
Anything
Everything
Nothing.
And everything could be okay.
For a little while.
Until we had to climb back down
And face the world.
But things would still be okay
Because you were with me
And I with you
And we could face the world together
Like we did when we looked out
At the seas of people
From our hiding place
On top of everything.
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 11:42 PM UTC
You managed to patch
Some of the holes in my heart
Every "I love you,"
Stitching it back together.
Little by little,
Like thread.
Our companionship creating a tapestry
Beneath my ribs.
But then you started to push me away,
Distancing yourself
From our beautiful art.
Slowly unraveling the threads
And taking them back
Like an old sweater
You intend to give
To someone else.
And now I am left here
Cold and shaking
The wind blowing through me
The sound it makes as it passes through
The used patchwork holes
In my chest
Haunts my sleep,
As it sounds like I do
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 11:08 PM UTC
And when you laugh
the sound plants gardens inside me;
flowers blooming where the cracks
in my heart used to be.
And your smile, so radiant
it puts the sun to shame,
gives the plants the nutrients
they need to survive.
But soon the light dulls
and the laughter subsides,
and the petals shrivel and the stems die
and the garden begins to crumble,
falling through the cracks it once filled
until they are gaping again
just like the space next to me
that you left behind.
Jun 21, 2014
Jun 21, 2014 at 9:27 PM UTC