You turn towards me,
We lock eyes.
For a moment
It's hard to breathe,
My face is warm,
My body grows tense,
but I analyze every detail of your face.
(5…10…15...)
The shadows of the Irises in your eyes,
Your mouth twitching when you’re nervous,
Your nose scrunches when I don’t speak first,
Your gray hairs peeking through your dark brown hair.
(20…25…30...)
Your eyes wrap around my soul,
My secrets,
My flaws,
My heart.
You hold me by just looking at me.
(35...40...45...)
Even for a minute .
I know it's the closest we’ll get to being with one another.
I take it all in.
(50...55...60...)
And when you turn around
All I can think about is if you’ll look my way again.
Will I captivate your courage this time?
To let it all out.
To use your words.
And not love me for only a minute.
(5...10...15...)
1d ago
Jun 3, 2026 at 3:09 AM UTC
Despite the advice
that pours from our mouths,
Each sentence,
Each word,
Each "reality check",
It conceals the feelings we have for each other.
We speak to one another in code.
Putting on our best act,
"It would be in your best interest to..."
Secretly hoping that maybe one of us will
Lift the veil,
Untangle our confusion,
and allow ourselves to
love each other.
May 19
May 19, 2026 at 2:26 AM UTC
The walls are stained with the residue of divorce,
The smell of mold still permeates the air,
Mom’s anger still haunts every room,
And the same doors that constantly slammed,
Still conceal the same darkness.
This house begs for renewal.
It begs for saving.
It’s suffocating.
This “home” strangles you,
Pushes the air out of your young lungs,
Dims the sparkle in your eye,
Strips you of your innocence,
And teaches your feet to fear moving.
The hardest part wasn’t leaving,
It was realizing that I deserved to.
May 11
May 11, 2026 at 5:31 PM UTC
how don't you feel it too?
the fear of saying the wrong thing
when we see each other.
our souls hugging when we do.
our laughs echoing our future children's.
the pressure of your body against mine.
my warmth,
your warmth.
how don't you feel it too?
how do you look at her
and not wonder what I'm doing?
Who I'm talking to?
What I'm thinking about?
How do you look at her,
and not wish it was me?
How do I forget loving you?
May 8
May 8, 2026 at 5:30 AM UTC
I’m 20.
I’ve officially reached the age
I used to lie about
When downloading apps.
How…cool?
Shouldn’t I be stoked right now?
Isn’t this supposed to be exciting?
Why am I still squinting my eyes
And crossing my fingers,
While blowing out my birthday candles
Wising to be my dad’s “little girl” again.
May 7
May 7, 2026 at 1:58 AM UTC
I hate myself for it,
I hate myself for it,
I hate myself for it.
I know its right
and good.
Good for right now.
Maybe forever if I keep
Pretending.
I look you in the eyes
And tell you "I love you" back
But it eats at my soul
At my heart
At my morals
Because how could I not love your
Adaptability,
Effort,
Care,
Purity,
Touch.
I hate myself for it.
Because there’s a shape in my heart
That does not fit you
But it perfectly aligns with him.
I know its him,
I feel it.
But he doesn’t adapt,
Try,
Care,
Or have the same purity imprinted
onto his finger pads when he touches me.
So how could I leave you,
For someone else I’m so sure about,
When he’s not sure of me.
So I will stay.
I will build this home.
Throw the hammer against every *****
Hang the paintings crooked,
Keep the house clean,
Keep my "husband" happy,
And keep a quiet home.
Make myself love you.
Because it is right and just.
And who am I to ruin your “good”,
I’ll hate myself more if this house crumbles
Above your head.
And if the vicinity you once “loved” me in
is now full of debris.
- Paperlungs
May 7
May 7, 2026 at 1:39 AM UTC