Shall I hate the time for not being kind?
Shall I get mad of it for confusing my mind?
Or shall I look pass of it like a serious blind
Even when today I am left behind?
Shall I hate the raindrops for being cold
When they always think of me being bold?
When I want to touch and long to hold?
This feeling of mine seems uncontrolled.
Shall I hate the space between us, dear
All the feeling's faint and nothing's clear?
Shall I tell you more about my fear
What's hurting me, sharp as a spear?
Shall I hate the world for being failed
When pain's the only thing that prevailed?
Shall I hate this life like someone jailed
When it's too much late the truth is unveiled?
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 10:24 AM UTC
Slowly she helps pick up the pieces that he left in front of her feet.
He woke up later, went to sleep sooner, ate more, got rid of his old habits, found meaning in a sunset and saw life at every dawn, compared the necessary and the unnecessary and chose accordingly each time.
But as she fixed him, he was not fixing her
She was still filled with pain and regret and sadness and no matter how many pieces she leaves for him they just exponentially increase to infinity and eventually he gets tired of doing the work and decides when he is ready to leave her, alone and without love.
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:54 AM UTC
on the surface there is skin. there are cuts, there are bruises, there is dry hands and scaly hearts and bags under eyes too round and too obvious. there are bracelets there are memories there are necklaces there is cover up there are flaws there are pimples there is a mask.
you cannot fix what you do not know is behind me. you cannot fix what is underneath my heart, what is underneath that skin that you think is so beautiful because when i was young i was taught that make up can help you hide and boy is that what i need. you cannot fix my mind, you cannot fix memories, and you can certainly never replace them. you can fill my mouth with words whispered in scarce breaths about love and about pain and about passion and about depression but there will never truly be that i get it that we are all looking for.
i cannot fix what i do not know is there, either. you can grab out but i'm a bad decision and you shouldn't rely on me to fix you or save your life because i have the blood of an animal that has learned to fend for itself, and sure you say all the time rely on yourself but you also reach out to me in times when i do not know how to do that and that scares me.
there's a breaking point; the point where it becomes uncomfortable. there is a point when the romantic falling stops and when the concrete hits and the wall builds back up and you become deserted in my heart, and that moment is here and even though you seem well worth it for me to build the wall back down i don't know if i can do that quite yet. i don't know if i can do that ever...
stop while you're ahead is what they tell me and what i think i should say but instead i remain silent and drown in the pool of laughter than i'm emitting from a mouth so numb it forgot how to speak again because i was taught that if you have nothing nice to say don't say it and i don't want to hurt you so i just shut myself down because i would rather hurt myself and i'm confused and scared and over-think and worried
false promises never got me anywhere
Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 9:53 AM UTC
I'm afraid of losing you,
Afraid that one day you'll wake up and realize
She's the one you need and not me,
She makes you happy more than I do,
And that time will come and she'll never be
Just a "best friend".
She was there before I came to your life,
And I know you know, she craves you
Just like the way I do.
And I don't know if deep down your heart,
You feel the same thing for her too.
I wonder if every time she smiles,
You fall for her, like how you fell for mine.
I wonder if there was a time
You thought of choosing her instead of me,
I may sound selfish, but I hope to God
She stops loving you, stops holding you,
Stops thinking of you,
Because I want to be the only one
To do that to you.
*I'm afraid of losing you
But you're not even mine to keep.*
Dec 6, 2014
Dec 6, 2014 at 12:53 PM UTC
maybe i should give up
it's not worth it
maybe i should give up
and try to move on
'cause this love
will lead to nothing
but endless expectations
that maybe one day
you'll come back
and tell me
it's me, it has always been,
the girl you dream about
the girl you think before you sleep
the girl you want to be with
forever
until your last breath
Mar 24, 2014
Mar 24, 2014 at 11:51 AM UTC
I'm in love with what we had
with what we used to be
with our late night conversations
with your silly stories
and they all will turn into memories
soon they'll fade
soon will be forgotten
you didn't give me a love
that will last forever
but you gave a pain
I'll always remember
you were beautiful like a rose
red and bold
but I didn't notice your thorns
that's why I'm lying here
broken and bruised
Mar 22, 2014
Mar 22, 2014 at 1:13 PM UTC
fresh flowers
cold shower
pale skin
no power
dark skies
less spice
sad human
depressed nights
writing poems
loud echoes
hurting myself
same woes
Dec 7, 2013
Dec 7, 2013 at 10:52 AM UTC
I am still and always in love with you
For you weren't born perfect
But I love everything about you
You're imperfections make you
Amazingly beautiful
I always daydream about
Your crooked teeth
Constellation of freckles
Your emotionless eyes
Your pale as a snow skin
But in reality
You're a corpse lying
On a hospital bed
You were dead
Like 10 minutes ago
I'm in love
With our beautiful tragic
Love story
Written in my heart
Are our memories
Oct 31, 2013
Oct 31, 2013 at 3:24 AM UTC