It's been a strange week.
It's strange to feel every emotion
that human beings feel,
all at once.
I've decided to slow down,
smile,
and enjoy all of the great
things coming my way,
and all of the great things
that are coming to an end.
I'm anxious to see what life
has in store for me.
Aug 21, 2015
Aug 21, 2015 at 6:47 AM UTC
There are a lot of
big changes happening
in my life;
and I'm going
through all of it alone.
I'm about to leave a job
that I have been comfortable at,
and know everyone,
to something brand new for me.
I am almost moved in
to an apartment that I'll be paying
for and living in by myself.
I have never slept in an empty house.
My boyfriend has never been good
at knowing how to support me,
and I don't expect anything from
anyone.
But I wish I wasn't going at all
of this alone.
I have almost no money in
my bank account,
and almost no hair left in my bangs.
August has been bitter sweet,
I can only hope that September
treats me better.
Aug 19, 2015
Aug 19, 2015 at 8:17 AM UTC
I love the romantic,
goth of Tim Burton;
and the wreckless drinking
of Charles Bukowski.
Aug 17, 2015
Aug 17, 2015 at 9:45 PM UTC
I had to get up and turn
on the light.
Try to clear my head.
I've been paranoid and
anxious.
I'm thinking about
playing some music and
trying to go to sleep with
some better thoughts.
Aug 15, 2015
Aug 15, 2015 at 9:46 PM UTC
Lately I find myself
wanting to talk about my
trichotillomania.
I think I want to find someone else
that knows what I'm going through.
I have never talked about it
on social media except one time.
And someone thought I had an
STD simply because they were
uninformed.
Embarrassed and ashamed
I quickly deleted it.
I shouldn't be ashamed.
Or embarrassed.
It's relevant. And real.
So, pretty much if you have trich
or just want someone to talk to
about it,
please comment or message me.
I know that isn't what this website is for,
But I feel most comfortable here.
And you can too.
Aug 9, 2015
Aug 9, 2015 at 1:02 AM UTC
I wish I was brave enough
to share my struggle with
trichotillomania on social media,
because maybe I'd find support.
But I can't get past the feeling of
just complaining or that no one
would care.
Let alone understand.
I've realized that the worst
trigger for me,
is watching shampoo commercials.
Because I know I'll never have hair
like that.
Full, pretty, strong.
It *****
And even as I'm writing this
my hand is in my hair,
tugging away at the short strands
I have left.
I feel hopeless,
because I am losing.
Aug 7, 2015
Aug 7, 2015 at 9:06 PM UTC
When my world turns
upside down,
you are the first one in line,
waiting to pull me back up.
My arms to cry in,
and keep me from floating away.
You tell me I'm beautiful
when I'm a mess;
even after I've spent the whole
afternoon pulling out my bangs.
You see what I don't,
but always end up making me
smile.
I don't know how you do it.
I am a tough one to crack.
But I'm thankful.
Because; I love you too.
Aug 3, 2015
Aug 3, 2015 at 11:23 PM UTC
I remember why I used
to come here every day
after class when I went to College.
It's quiet.
The kind of quiet where even
breathing makes too much noise
compared.
But today I am here
because I have nowhere else to be.
I'm sitting in my car writing this,
and a skinny man in white shorts
jogs past.
I know he's here for the same reason
I am.
Just a little time off.
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 6:52 PM UTC
If my dad says I can not live
with him for at least a month,
I will be homeless.
And more than likely,
car less too.
Possibly dead.
My tires are bald,
about to blow out,
but I don't have the money
to replace them.
I'm praying they last at least
9 days.
I have nowhere to go;
and I can't stay here.
I need to save money to get my
own place,
but I'll never be able to
save 1200$.
I don't know what to do.
Especially if my tires blow.
Well, at least then I'm sure to be dead.
This isn't even a poem.
Just a lot of my thoughts that
I can't stop thinking about here lately.
I am *******
Aug 1, 2015
Aug 1, 2015 at 6:54 AM UTC
Oh,
it feels like multi-tasking
at it's finest.
Smoking a bowl of resin
I scraped up,
while slowly pulling on my hair,
reading Bukowski.
A love song is playing from
my Spotify.
It's almost delicious how nice it is.
Jul 28, 2015
Jul 28, 2015 at 12:44 AM UTC