i am
one
hundred
percent
better than you
i do not feel sorry
in any way
when you were given
-what i tried
so hard for-
without any effort
makes me want
the gun
to go
off
Sep 9, 2013
Sep 9, 2013 at 10:16 PM UTC
the tendencies creep back
like the sun at dawn-
truly numb and
passive to their cries
they fall to the cold floor
limp and dull and quiet
leaking from new orifices
and taking their light with them
while my head spins
a complicated tapestry
on a broken loom
red string
angry and burning
screaming with no end
in the dark while i
cling to fleeting feelings
and clean
the remnents of theirs
with a snap i'm sent tumbling
struggling
can't find
air water food shelter
my head pounds
my eyes ablaze
and skin tight across
my eyes and temples
when the light hits
it's over and i
awake-
numb
Aug 12, 2013
Aug 12, 2013 at 8:03 PM UTC
i ripped at my chest
nails scraping bone and muscle
picking out bundles of fat
to reach my heart
i plated it with steel
a coat of armor and arms
to prevent them from stretching
and breaking it themselves
i ripped at my scalp
drilling into my skull past fluids
and pulling out hair
to reach my mind
i shook it out and wrung it dry
before crushing it in my hands
to prevent them from whispering
and getting to me again
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013 at 8:03 PM UTC
a horrible sinking feeling
collapsing and compressing down on me
taking away the precious air from my lungs
and from the atmosphere around me
water seeps from my eyes
ears and eyes burning from the pressure
of the sea i'm too tired to tread
and disappearing below
i jumped in to drown them
tempting the universe to smite me
and take the voices away with it
but they are the demons inside of me
they know how to swim
Jul 3, 2013
Jul 3, 2013 at 7:50 PM UTC
traverse the divide
envelope me in your arms
i crave your touch
to understand every
fold of your hands
and memorize the way
our bodies tesselate
poison me with
your smell, intoxicating
me to the abyss
i'm afraid to fall in
without you here
May 2, 2013
May 2, 2013 at 11:01 PM UTC
you
give me shivers
rolling down my spine
vertebrae to vertebrae
disconnecting what i thought i knew
about myself
from reality
you
make me think it's okay
to have a foot
on either side of the fence
even if it's worth risking
eternal damnation in hell
for fleeting happiness
on earth
you
are an adhesive enigma
to the pillar of memories
the terrible and wonderful
i'll never leave behind
even if i
want to
you
found me during
the worst points in my life
always managing to text
right when i think of you
and when i
am alone
you
untouched by my society
a gift from above
sent from my guardian angel
an amalgam
it's hard to believe if you
are real
May 2, 2013
May 2, 2013 at 10:19 PM UTC
i
am a failure.
an inconsistent outline
paper thin and withering
and she
she knows sadness
the way i know
every line from
romeo and juliet
the way i stutter
when i speak honestly
she knows depression
like a white blank page
and no inspiration
for an artist
like a canon ball shot
over an empty sea
i
am a failure
her cuts as deep
as the chasms beneath
what we know of the ocean
mine as shallow
as the things i think
and know of
i want to feel
the hatred
she feels when
she meets her own gaze
i want to be able
to destroy myself
with a single thought
the way i supposed
i could
but i
am a failure
May 2, 2013
May 2, 2013 at 9:52 PM UTC
it rubs the lotion on its skin
its sickly, rolling skin
my skin --
twitching with multiplication --
the cells dividing continuously
bubbling --
double, double, toil and trouble
with the ripples and waves
of a hurricanic ocean
cascading down ill fitting rocks
to crash in the flexible, formable underbelly
i will carve each digit into my skin
scar my failure into the surface
reminiscent of my tumble to the bottom
burning the memories into my flesh
never forget, never repeat
May 1, 2013
May 1, 2013 at 1:39 PM UTC
sweat and fat and greed
she comes in
altering my consciousness --
concocting the wretched thoughts --
anew
rushing through my skull
deafening and pounding
confronting all that i am
all that i will be
or won't be
because of her
she smiles
flashing her fiendish countenance
a scowl and a glare
and i'm trapped
May 1, 2013
May 1, 2013 at 12:57 PM UTC
she comes from the foam
the knife from her gut
hidden in her rolling cloak
taking steps along the shore
her coral hair
catching the light of the moon
she stumbles across a bonfire
a party for a prince’s fiancee
introducing herself to the couple
the girl stares past them at the slowly tossing waves
the lead her to the castle
giving her nicer clothes, a shower
the graceful princess
her gilded gown glistening
as she teaches the beauty of the sea
to brush her hair, use a fork
she walks with them.
...
the atrocities committed
by her new family
oil in the oceans
disastrous runoff
carried by the currents
putting the sea, her sea
to a slow and painful death
at night, she crept into their chamber
her knife unsheathed
shimmering, poised above her captors
she moved to strike
stopped, by a sea witch
the cruel being smiled
her teeth, cracked and crooked shells
striking a deal:
a life for a life
the sea maiden would be turned
a daughter of triton, son of poseidon
fins instead of legs
protecting the ocean, her home
from the inside.
Apr 30, 2013
Apr 30, 2013 at 8:12 PM UTC