Indifference
It seems with you I'll never reach that stage
A place without feeling
Without anger for how we ended,
Longing for what we were
Forgiveness
A word I'll never say to you
It seems petty
It wasn't all that bad
Those days feeling worthless
Crying feeling forgotten
All because of you
Us
Maybe the universe messed up
When it linked us as a pair
But maybe just maybe we both needed the growth
All the troubles
Maybe I should thank you for all I am
Aug 28, 2020
Aug 28, 2020 at 11:15 PM UTC
Verse 1
Your eyes shined
You glanced back at me following your lead
Making sure I wouldn't be forgotten in the crowds.
My hair Windswept
My hand brushed it down from the air
Making sure I would know how pretty I looks you took my hand and squeezed leading me further down the street
Chorus
Refusing to tell me where we'd end up you gleamed like a little kid
Trustly you blindly I followed in your step
Nerves left to rest when your nose scrunched up with your smile
You whispered "let's promise to never have this day end"
Bringing me back to that closed down carnival
To sit underneath the carousel and talk of sunrises and angels
Verse 2
You stopped me on the sidewalk, walking me home
You took my face in your hands
Silently asking if this is what I wanted
My heart stopped on in that moment as I nodded
My mind swirled in the fog as you leaning in close
Silently I thought, You tasted like pine and sugar
[Chorus]
Bridge
Laughing at all my horrible jokes
Flushed Cheeks
I've never had that kind of treatment before
You'd cover yourself with witty comments
Hoping I wouldn't notice your shaking hands
But I did every time... babe
[Chorus]
Jul 27, 2020
Jul 27, 2020 at 3:10 PM UTC
I shouldn’t know this would turn out this way,
Having the urge to cry,
But scared of what the people would say.
And so I stand five feet behind the group,
Scared to call home not knowing where the conversation could lead
So there I was on Halloween night,
The kids were scared of ghosts but I stood unfazed,
Overwhelmed with the fear inside myself,
Using my phone as my lifeline,
Begging for someone to answer my distress calls
But when they don’t I won’t be surprised,
There I was on Halloween night…
Jun 5, 2020
Jun 5, 2020 at 2:46 PM UTC
“Haha You’re going to have nobody in July”
Flash it back to last summer,
While people are out on beaches, getting tans,
And at camps reinventing themselves,
I’m sitting on the couch with Netflix open,
Watching my favorite show on rewatch
While wishing I could have someone to talk to
Texting just not doing it for me,
But none of my friends are free,
Their off living their lives out in the wild,
With people surrounding them, while being happy in the sun,
While I’m here in the dark, with the only light being my computer screen.
Maybe they were right, I really will have nobody in July,
No one to visit, no one to talk to
Even my sisters are leaving for college in June,
Options running out,
Once again I’m limited to the people on my phone,
The people who don’t want to talk to me,
And answer hours after I text, not caring enough to reply as fast as I do,
Leaving myself to scroll down, video after video,
Wishing that was me, laughing with someone in my room
Instead of being all on my own
Yeah, they were right I’ll have nobody in July,
Even more now that their gone,
One less option that I used to have,
Even though we rarely saw each other face to face,
We still talked at least once every week,
With that gone now, I just don’t know what I’ll do,
I don’t want it to come to scrolling endlessly on my phone,
Unable to read ten pages in one sitting,
Unfinished lyrics, and paragraphs left alone, just as I am
Motivation tossed away as soon as school rolls out,
Nothing left to do except sit on the couch,
Listen to music and wish that someone would text me,
Even though I know they won’t.
Maybe they were right, I really will have nobody in July,
No one to visit, no one to talk to
Even my sisters are leaving for college in June,
Options running out,
Once again I’m limited to the people on my phone,
The people who don’t want to talk to me,
And answer hours after I text, not caring enough to reply as fast as I do,
Leaving myself to scroll down, video after video,
Wishing that was me, laughing with someone in my room
Instead of being all on my own
Yeah, they were right I’ll have nobody in July,
All I have is myself,
And for once I need that to be enough
All I need is to get through the month,
The longest month in summer, when people are practically begging for school back,
Me more than most.
Back in those halls where I talk to someone daily,
Have more than just myself telling me to get work done,
A reason to wake up in the morning,
Instead of two in the afternoon,
While falling asleep at three,
Unable to rest when there's nothing to be tired from,
Expect the endless silence of the communication I wish I could have
Maybe they were right, I really will have nobody in July,
No one to visit, no one to talk to
Even my sisters are leaving for college in June,
Options running out,
Once again I’m limited to the people on my phone,
The people who don’t want to talk to me,
And answer hours after I text, not caring enough to reply as fast as I do,
Leaving myself to scroll down, video after video,
Wishing that was me, laughing with someone in my room
Instead of being all on my own
Yeah, they were right I’ll have nobody in July,
“That was a mean thing to say I’m sorry”
May 18, 2020
May 18, 2020 at 3:08 PM UTC