Fathers leave.
You know sometimes you can let it go, sometimes you can't.
Do you remember that night the thunder shook the apartment?
I was five; and i thought the lightning was so bright i thought the world was on fire.
i'm all under my covers, crying and you came flying into the room and peek under the covers and decide to make it a game.
you said the lightning was the northern lights.
you made that entire night an adventure until the storm passed.
and i woke up the next morning, and it was a sunny day.
don't you remember that?
"no. i don't."
that's because it never happened.
the storm happened, but you didn't.
Fathers leave.
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 10:38 AM UTC
No, really.
I mean it
i'd be better for you,
you could do all the drugs you want,
i wouldn't be there to stop you.
So please just let me go,
it's okay honey,
don't hurt for me,
not worth your time,
in fact i'm not worth...
anyone's time.
because i sugar coat my skin,
to make sure no one see's the scars i left on my skin,
to cover up my dull eyes,
and my unhappy smile.
really though,
just let me go.
Nov 28, 2018
Nov 28, 2018 at 2:03 PM UTC
i just.... wish
i could finally say "i'm okay"
i just wish i could go away
honestly i wish i was never born the world could have done fine without me.
everything would have been fine without me.
you wouldn't have to worry
i wouldn't have to suffer
i wouldn't have to fight to breathe
or live
or see
i could just sleep...
forever
Nov 26, 2018
Nov 26, 2018 at 2:06 PM UTC
"CALM DOWN!" she yells
"YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GOING THROUGH!" I yell back
she storms off, leaving me there,
I fall to the ground and calmly look at my scars.
I sigh deeply. "why? "
She walks back and responds "What do you mean why?!"
"Why do I exist what gave you the idea? hmm? why didn't you just have me aborted, that's all i needed..."
She looks at me shocked.
I smile softly
"E-Ella..."
I look up, slowly putting my hand up to my mouth.
"shh..."
I grab the knife and push it into my stomach.
"n-no!" I hear faintly
I see her and smile before the darkness absorbs me.
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 9:54 PM UTC
WARNING
WARNING
WARNING
SUICIDAL CONTENT
DEPRESSING CONTENT
Hi my name Is A.H.
i'm a gender fluid human,
i'm trying to be happy...
honestly mom I really am,
i'm trying to get my grades up,
i'm trying to pull myself together,
i'm trying...
But the littlest things seem to stress me out,
Like school,
Or coming home,
sometimes I don't want to come home.
Yeah i'll admit it I love you,
But you drive me crazy,
Everyday is a ******* fight!
I just wish i could die sometimes!
haven't you noticed my scars?!
Haven't you seen my smile...
to tell that it's all a fake...
I love you...
But i sure as hell don't love the things you do.
Sep 25, 2018
Sep 25, 2018 at 9:44 PM UTC
I'm happy your able to see my smile,
I'm happy you can't tell it's fake,
I'm happy your stars align calmly in your sky,
I'm in love with you,
sorry...
Sorry i'm a simple mess,
Sorry i couldn't confess,
Sorry i'm losing my mind,
Sorry i'm wasting all your time,
I insist you go...
cya around I guess.
Sep 24, 2018
Sep 24, 2018 at 11:02 AM UTC
I'd awoken near a calming sea,
Everything that i'd seen had been swept away,
The waves crash against my paralyzed body,
"He left me here..." I say softly.
I scream out in rage but only hear myself,
I'd been stuck there for years,
all by myself,
He was not the one to leave me,
He was not the one to leave it was all my own fault,
I calmly sit her as the sea splashes against my rock.
"I need to love myself." I say; As all my happiness slowly drifts away,
I close my eyes and drift to sleep,
Always calmly counting sheep,
He had gone but i was fine he was ready to leave this lifetime.
The birds go on above my sky, singing soft lullabys,
I miss him as he does I,
He left and so will I,
Though it will be a while before I die. So for now I shall say goodbye.
Sep 19, 2018
Sep 19, 2018 at 9:51 AM UTC
Dear dad,
you make my life hell,
you don't know if i'm feeling well,
I tell you i'm fine,
All you say is okay,
You don't try to dig deep,
You'd rather stay on the surface,
Where you are save,
Because you don't see the world like i do,
In fact you don't see anything but a mirror image of yourself,
Someone that is "amazing",
well news flash,
your not amazing,
your the worst person I know,
I hate that you think i'm a lie,
I am no lie,
maybe your the lie,
the only reason I thank you,
Is because you brought me into the world,
other than that you ******* ****
Good bye.
Maybe you'll soon learn your mistakes.
Jun 19, 2018
Jun 19, 2018 at 9:36 AM UTC