nm522 - Hello Poetry

I woke up to her silence screaming at my heart It was a quick punch in the chest, lasting for minutes Funny, that didn't hurt at all I didn't stumble, looking for your last words I didn't have to fight the whispers telling me to keep going I have grown used to the pain I felt nothing at all That particular night made me feel hollow I've always believed it's better to feel something than nothing at all It didn't bother me anymore I tried remembering Remember the first night you had a nightmare and told me it was you being happy with someone else Remember walking down the street with no one beside you because I walked really slow Remember going out and not feeling a tiny bit of happy inside Remember how we fell apart, how we fell apart Remember how my silence was your music, your lullaby and how yours was an arrow stabbing me over and over Remember how you fell asleep crying, asking me to never cross the line Remember when you had a dream about being with someone else and didn't even flinch about it Remember how I stayed up all night, on your bed side, trying to pick up all your broken pieces and putting them back together Remember how I tried to put you back together, blood in my hands, for you to wake up whole again Remember how I saw you whole, complete, again but I knew then it wasn't for me Remember how desperately I tried to keep up with your busy life, whatever it took, I did Remember how the words slipping out of your tongue were all out of routine, all the I love you's and the apologies Even the silences were not genuine Remember how all the butterflies went back to being just stupid caterpillars Remember how you pushed me away and told me to leave you alone, I stood there out in the cold, waiting for you to take it back Remember how you eventually fell in love with someone else and never told me about it Remember how the flowers I gave you didn't look pretty on your table anymore, but somewhere hidden, maybe at the back of the closet Remember all those times you kept me as a secret, I sat there in awe of how capable you are of killing me Remember when I asked why, and you hesitated Remember how I emptied myself for you just to make you feel like you have something inside Remember how I poured myself, everything that I am, to you, but you still chose to be empty I still remember how you forgot.

0

nm522

Mar 1, 2015

Mar 1, 2015 at 2:11 AM UTC

tenderheartedpoet

XXVII

I woke up to her silence screaming at my heart It was a quick punch in the chest, lasting for minutes Funny, that didn't hurt at all I didn't stumble, looking for your last words I didn't have to fight the whispers telling me to keep going I have grown used to the pain I felt nothing at all That particular night made me feel hollow I've always believed it's better to feel something than nothing at all It didn't bother me anymore I tried remembering Remember the first night you had a nightmare and told me it was you being happy with someone else Remember walking down the street with no one beside you because I walked really slow Remember going out and not feeling a tiny bit of happy inside Remember how we fell apart, how we fell apart Remember how my silence was your music, your lullaby and how yours was an arrow stabbing me over and over Remember how you fell asleep crying, asking me to never cross the line Remember when you had a dream about being with someone else and didn't even flinch about it Remember how I stayed up all night, on your bed side, trying to pick up all your broken pieces and putting them back together Remember how I tried to put you back together, blood in my hands, for you to wake up whole again Remember how I saw you whole, complete, again but I knew then it wasn't for me Remember how desperately I tried to keep up with your busy life, whatever it took, I did Remember how the words slipping out of your tongue were all out of routine, all the I love you's and the apologies Even the silences were not genuine Remember how all the butterflies went back to being just stupid caterpillars Remember how you pushed me away and told me to leave you alone, I stood there out in the cold, waiting for you to take it back Remember how you eventually fell in love with someone else and never told me about it Remember how the flowers I gave you didn't look pretty on your table anymore, but somewhere hidden, maybe at the back of the closet Remember all those times you kept me as a secret, I sat there in awe of how capable you are of killing me Remember when I asked why, and you hesitated Remember how I emptied myself for you just to make you feel like you have something inside Remember how I poured myself, everything that I am, to you, but you still chose to be empty I still remember how you forgot.

33

I hate birds but I've been teaching them how to sing For you Even though you lurk in the Depths of my mind - surfacing Momentarily at all of the wrong times Torturing me Alluring Exhilarating- me I could not imagine a single Millisecond that you are not Behind my eyes I could not go a day without internally hearing your voice - You are the ocean and I am the Smallest crustacean - a bottom feeder You are the moon and I am the sun I die everyday so that you can Breathe I could not live this life without you Even if it is spent away from you - You are here Within me You are in every song I hear Every sunset I see Every inch of me burns with your touch Why did I not leave a space of my own? 1, 1,00, 100,000 years from now Even after out souls have returned to Their rightful homes- Yours the tress and mine The constellations (opposites) I will love you You will always be the first rock - That started my landside The first disturbance that caused my Avalanche The center of my being, my world, my galaxy, my universe I want to die like this If love were a window you were The whole **** house

0

Feb 28, 2015

Feb 28, 2015 at 3:28 PM UTC

nm522

2/28

I hate birds but I've been teaching them how to sing For you Even though you lurk in the Depths of my mind - surfacing Momentarily at all of the wrong times Torturing me Alluring Exhilarating- me I could not imagine a single Millisecond that you are not Behind my eyes I could not go a day without internally hearing your voice - You are the ocean and I am the Smallest crustacean - a bottom feeder You are the moon and I am the sun I die everyday so that you can Breathe I could not live this life without you Even if it is spent away from you - You are here Within me You are in every song I hear Every sunset I see Every inch of me burns with your touch Why did I not leave a space of my own? 1, 1,00, 100,000 years from now Even after out souls have returned to Their rightful homes- Yours the tress and mine The constellations (opposites) I will love you You will always be the first rock - That started my landside The first disturbance that caused my Avalanche The center of my being, my world, my galaxy, my universe I want to die like this If love were a window you were The whole **** house

38

I think I'm crazy. The space by me is spinning, and I'm seeing stars. © Matthew Harlovic

0

nm522

Feb 28, 2015

Feb 28, 2015 at 1:17 PM UTC

matthew-harlovic

(Luna)tic

I think I'm crazy. The space by me is spinning, and I'm seeing stars. © Matthew Harlovic

4

Out of all the words in the human languages, almost is the cruelest. I almost loved you. I almost won. I was almost there. I was almost ***** When he snuck into the room like a wolf stalking its prey, my stomach didn’t almost tie in knots. It became a sailor’s masterpiece. When he laid beside me as quiet as a stone, I wasn’t almost shaking. I was a leaf on the San Andreas Fault. When his long, spidery fingers began trailing down my back, it didn’t almost feel like razors. He cut so deep the skin began to peel back and expose every insecurity that I’ve hidden away between my vertebrae. His fingers didn’t almost dig into my arm, they became shovels that dug a hole big enough for a casket. Bruises didn’t almost blossom across my skin, I was a primrose bush in full bloom and he was the gardener. When he coerced himself between my thighs, I didn’t almost scream. Years of ancestral abuse surged through my lungs and out my lips into a battle cry. When he tried to force his hand inside of me I didn’t almost feel spoiled. I was a fruit rotting from the inside out, something that no one would ever want. And when my screams finally drove him off of me, I wasn’t almost okay. I was paralyzed with fear and disgust and shame. Everything I’ve ever believed in slapped me in the face as I told myself: This is what I get for liking *** I shouldn’t be so easy. I was asking for it. It was my fault. I felt like a butterfly, beautiful but ruined by a man’s touch. Never to fly again. But the truth is, a butterfly sheds scales throughout its lifetime, regenerating its wings. So when a man reaches for your wings in attempts to rip them off remember that you are not what he thinks you are. Remember that it is never your fault. Not even almost.

0

nm522

Feb 28, 2015

Feb 28, 2015 at 12:48 AM UTC

tkrndbs

presque

Out of all the words in the human languages, almost is the cruelest. I almost loved you. I almost won. I was almost there. I was almost ***** When he snuck into the room like a wolf stalking its prey, my stomach didn’t almost tie in knots. It became a sailor’s masterpiece. When he laid beside me as quiet as a stone, I wasn’t almost shaking. I was a leaf on the San Andreas Fault. When his long, spidery fingers began trailing down my back, it didn’t almost feel like razors. He cut so deep the skin began to peel back and expose every insecurity that I’ve hidden away between my vertebrae. His fingers didn’t almost dig into my arm, they became shovels that dug a hole big enough for a casket. Bruises didn’t almost blossom across my skin, I was a primrose bush in full bloom and he was the gardener. When he coerced himself between my thighs, I didn’t almost scream. Years of ancestral abuse surged through my lungs and out my lips into a battle cry. When he tried to force his hand inside of me I didn’t almost feel spoiled. I was a fruit rotting from the inside out, something that no one would ever want. And when my screams finally drove him off of me, I wasn’t almost okay. I was paralyzed with fear and disgust and shame. Everything I’ve ever believed in slapped me in the face as I told myself: This is what I get for liking *** I shouldn’t be so easy. I was asking for it. It was my fault. I felt like a butterfly, beautiful but ruined by a man’s touch. Never to fly again. But the truth is, a butterfly sheds scales throughout its lifetime, regenerating its wings. So when a man reaches for your wings in attempts to rip them off remember that you are not what he thinks you are. Remember that it is never your fault. Not even almost.

37

She wore flowers in her hair And anger in her eyes Had a strong hate for her father And thought birthdays were stupid He memorized every notch in her spine And made a home for himself in the gaps between her fingers Playing dot-to-dot with her freckles, Became his new favorite hobby Tattoos adorned his arms Expressing himself in ways words never could, for ink could not stutter He smoked too many cigarettes, and gazed at her through hooded eyes The kind that could only be found in the depths of the alleyways you avoided She looked at him as if he had hand selected the stars, And was responsible for the moon Right next to her love for the Rolling Stones, he was there Swimming through her bloodstream He had deceived himself into believing he did not love her For she was his Abigail Williams And she always said, "God damns all liars"

0

Feb 27, 2015

Feb 27, 2015 at 11:52 PM UTC

nm522

9/18

She wore flowers in her hair And anger in her eyes Had a strong hate for her father And thought birthdays were stupid He memorized every notch in her spine And made a home for himself in the gaps between her fingers Playing dot-to-dot with her freckles, Became his new favorite hobby Tattoos adorned his arms Expressing himself in ways words never could, for ink could not stutter He smoked too many cigarettes, and gazed at her through hooded eyes The kind that could only be found in the depths of the alleyways you avoided She looked at him as if he had hand selected the stars, And was responsible for the moon Right next to her love for the Rolling Stones, he was there Swimming through her bloodstream He had deceived himself into believing he did not love her For she was his Abigail Williams And she always said, "God damns all liars"

20

I'm always afraid everyone will start hating me, when everyone already hates me.

0

nm522

Feb 27, 2015