the days have become more of a drag,
I find myself disconnected from those around me,
unable to form bonds that should be everlasting.
I cry when I can,
Or when my heart allows me to,
yet there still tends to be pain that follows when the tears subside, there seems to be no other way in which to relieve the heartache I am feeling, than through sleeping when there's still daylight out because my mind and my soul become restless as the sun comes down and the moon rises
This is when the darkness takes over and it becomes less appealing to find beauty through the mess of sorrow that remains scattered throughout my heart
I will not allow others to see the painful sides of me that have been buried deep in the foregoing life I have lived and will continue to live
Jun 21, 2022
Jun 21, 2022 at 2:18 AM UTC
I feel as if I don't know where
I am and the most scary part
is I think I lost who I am
instead I have to ask
the people around me what I admire
and what I despise
I've tried to make myself into an anecdote
the world needs more of and
I've become the girl who is more
focused on helping her friends
and strangers
than helping herself
and when it really matters
and when I'm hurting
and when I'm crying
and when I'm down
all I want to do is
hide the
pain
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 10:18 PM UTC
A word well known
to her soul,
mind,
and body
As she walked
through the city streets
she saw that even though
it looked enticing
and peaceful
She knew the secrets
that were hidden behind
the walls of each and
every home
The ones she knew
like the freckles on her face
hurt the most
They were the ones that came
from behind her walls
the ones no one else
knows
She looks so peaceful
and confident
but don't let the outside
distract you from
what may be on the inside
Dec 13, 2018
Dec 13, 2018 at 10:15 PM UTC
I would wait
a thousand
years just to hear
you tell me why you left
just to you hear you
say I love you
just to see you
turn back in time
and take care of me
just to watch you
cry at my funeral
just to know
you love me
just to understand
why you didn't
want me
just to know
the million reasons
why you couldn't love me...
Sep 23, 2018
Sep 23, 2018 at 7:49 PM UTC
The people
around me
the ones who
surround me
Are also the ones
who left me behind
on my own to bear
the vastness of this
big trench called pain
Assumption can lead to
Extremely difficult roads
It often leads to a large path
Full of emptiness trying to find
Ourselves on our own
Not wanting to reach out
Because of the fear the people
We LOVE may HURT us by
Silently judging the mistakes
We are continuously making
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 10:57 PM UTC
Left alone by the people
I love because
they assume
its what I want
See they think but don't ask
they assume but rather leave me be
when they could be helping me
instead of watching me cry...
im trapped in my own disastrous head
running on a treadmill of worry and regret
Sep 20, 2018
Sep 20, 2018 at 10:38 PM UTC
Lies I tell myself
so that I can
pretend I
know who I am
I'm tired of
not knowing who
I am
Lying awake creating
scenarios in which
I know exactly
who I am
Having dreams where
I don't have to
question
what I love
and hate
Who I wanna
be and who
I want to
leave behind
Creating a life
in which I
know what
happens
next
not afraid
of the
uncertainty
tomorrow
holds for
us
Not having
self confidence
issues in which
I feel happy
and free
Able to love myself
without needing
acceptance from
the people
around me
So goody bye lies
its time I let go
of the toxic
food you've
fed me for
far too
long
Sep 11, 2018
Sep 11, 2018 at 11:09 PM UTC
I keep lying
Yet you keep
forgiving me,
I keep breaking
your heart but
you still love
me unconditionally
I keep crying
and saying
that I'm sorry
but am I really
I keep receiving
chances and
running with
them
not thinking of
the ongoing
damage I do
to myself
more than I
do to you
you guys
never
deserved
this
On my way
to find out
who I am I
destroy
everything in
my path
not looking
back on the
bridges I've
burnt,
In fear of
what I've
become and
the treacherous
things I have
done
I'm so sorry
I keep lying
maybe it's time
I finally go to
therapy so
you and I
can find the
real me
Sep 10, 2018
Sep 10, 2018 at 10:55 PM UTC
A question I seem
to have a difficult
time answering,
it may sound simple
do I Boast
and Brag?
Sometimes,
but Who doesn't,
Is it so wrong
to want
people to lke
me?
or should I just
become lonely
until the sun soon
rises and brings
me wonderful
people
along with
the new day
I just want
to get
the attention
of the
people surrounding me
or maybe even just one?
is it so wrong for
them to get
to know me
so that I
can share the
pain the
broken heart
all of which are
inside me
eating away at
my optimism
gnawing at
the love I used
to be
able to
hand out like
free candy
So to answer this
immorally complicated
question
can I be both?
because I am
I become pretentious
around the
people I want
to impress
and I become
un-conceited
around those
who need love
and compassion
the ones who need
a stranger to
give them
a hug
or a smile
I will continue
to spread
the love
that was
never given
to me
that's all
the world
and I
need
so can
you please
do the
same for
me?
Aug 22, 2018
Aug 22, 2018 at 11:52 PM UTC