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nikilee
nikilee
23/F/American i'm drugged by the poison that oozed from your lips
trapped in my mind stuck in my head no where to go so I lay in my bed why did you leave me why did you go i would **** just to hear you say hello yet, your gone gone up in the stars i swear for you i’d travel so far if i could just hold you one more time in my arms even though you aren’t here i still dance with you my dear there’s a ghost that haunts me but I have no fear cause I know it’s you, my darling that’s crystal clear
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Jun 4, 2022
Jun 4, 2022 at 6:10 PM UTC
ghost dance
You throw up every time you think of what you could be Of what you once were Always longing for distant memories Yet I’ll tell you now dear Do not dwell in the past Yet focus on the future Because sometimes friends become enemies Boats get lost at sea People will get put in the ground, only now just a plain wooden cross under a tree Cast out those demons that crawl beneath your skin Set a spell on the evil within For the darkness will not eat you alive You’re not a corpse that’s dead inside But a wandering soul looking for a peace of mind Every second of your life is just like a hand on a clock, Tick tock So live in the moment because one day this house will become ashes They will scatter as the wind blows Along the fields and the meadows You might just feel like you’re a dead rose Yet your vines, they keep on climbing Just as you keep on fighting For the day you finally won’t feel sick At the thoughts that make you tick So don’t throw up every time you think of what you could be You are not a ghost You are not a distant memory For you, yourself are the only one who can truly set you free - N.N
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Jul 1, 2018
Jul 1, 2018 at 9:33 AM UTC
Nauseous
She's like a book on a bookshelf fragile, broken, alone Her thoughts are fulled with words that line the edge of each page, yet the shade of black ink that drips off her tongue stains her own bold-faced font She's like a book on a empty bookshelf In an empty library In an empty city In an empty world Alone She's like a secret book on a bookshelf filled with genius passages that do not make sense to her for she is a silent author that can only sit in front of a old wooden desk and wait for ink to spew from her fingertips to create a masterpiece
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Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 4:19 AM UTC
Black Ink
It’s 4:07 am, all that was on my mind was the thought of your voice and then my phone lit up with your name displayed across the screen It’s 4:31 am, the house is almost completely silent except for the rattle of the fan that probably spun as fast as my heart throbbed, drugged by the poison that oozed from your lips It’s 4:46 am, it is dark and I am alone, yet I still feel your warm strong arms wrapped around my cold frail body, reminding me what it felt like to feel safe It’s 4:51 am, the fan shakes, it rattles so loudly and I am so cold and your warm strong arms are not wrapped around me, your gentle voice is not whispering in my ear telling me everything is alright It’s 4:49 am, my phone is dark and silent and my heart won’t stop throbbing I think I might puke I do not feel safe and I don’t think everything will be okay because it isn't and it won’t be and I am cold and you are not wrapped around me
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Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 4:17 AM UTC
December 7, 2014 // 4:07 am
It’s 4:07 am, all that was on my mind was the thought of your voice and then my phone lit up with your name displayed across the screen It’s 4:31 am, the house is almost completely silent except for the rattle of the fan that probably spun as fast as my heart throbbed, drugged by the poison that oozed from your lips It’s 4:46 am, it is dark and I am alone, yet I still feel your warm strong arms wrapped around my cold frail body, reminding me what it felt like to feel safe It’s 4:51 am, the fan shakes, it rattles so loudly and I am so cold and your warm strong arms are not wrapped around me, your gentle voice is not whispering in my ear telling me everything is alright It’s 4:49 am, my phone is dark and silent and my heart won’t stop throbbing I think I might puke I do not feel safe and I don’t think everything will be okay because it isn’t and it won’t be and I am cold and you are not wrapped around me
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Dec 9, 2014
Dec 9, 2014 at 4:17 AM UTC
December 7, 2014 // 4:07 am
and yet, how many people live their lives in the full knowledge that the self - the core of their personal identity - is an illusion?
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Mar 17, 2014
Mar 17, 2014 at 12:03 AM UTC
thoughts
you were the hallucination of water I saw as I was roaming the desert you were the crevice in the paper that I never could keep straight you were my moon and I was your sun I loved you endlessly; I loved you with a love I have never loved and will never love again You unearthed my roots and placed me by a windowsill that never received enough sunlight you watered me and cared for me as much as you possibly could but never could quite understand why I was dying once I was gone you knew and you, you took that dead flower and tossed it because once something gets to **** difficult you always quit. You said it yourself, so I quit too.
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Feb 19, 2014
Feb 19, 2014 at 1:18 PM UTC
m
I will always wonder if you remember that bleak night in December you took my soul into a dimension so far away from this awful attention I couldn't even fathom your beauty for you are a midnight goddess and I'm just a noble artist I took my lips and gently placed them on your forehead then your petite little nose and then finally leaning in for a kiss you don't even resist that moment was like ember because of that moment I will always remember that cold bleak night in December
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Feb 2, 2014
Feb 2, 2014 at 10:05 PM UTC
That Bleak Night in December
my life is slowing slipping out of my grip and is dripping from my hands, splattering like when a paint ball hits the target with each horrifying drop and I can't do anything about it
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Jan 7, 2014
Jan 7, 2014 at 11:23 AM UTC
melting
Why is there such thing as pressure? Social pressure, air pressure, blood pressure, peer pressure, sinus pressure, life pressure We are pressured by every element ever created yet I am not a diamond I am not a sparkling gem I am not perfect But I am something I am a soul in a body that isn't truly mine and a pine tree in the middle of a cornfiepld and a bird who has to be fed by it's mother because it doesn't know how to live on it's own; I am the waves that crash into the shoreline and I am the duckling who is always left behind and I am the broken voice who never yelled hallelujah because I didn't believe I could; I am a guitar that is improperly tuned and a book whose spine is destroyed and I am the child who yelled for her father that never came; I am a unfinished painting and a crooked portrait and the broken record player that repeats the same groove over and over and over; Yet I am not perfect, because if I was I would be able to answer your question but I can't and if I could, I know wouldn't be able to stand here and tell you who I truly am
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Dec 11, 2013
Dec 11, 2013 at 11:43 PM UTC
Pressure