nijahnicole - Hello Poetry

when you look at me like that it almost makes me feel like you're listening to me and when you speak to me like that with your "hm's" it almost makes me feel like you care about how you speak to me and when you touched my thigh it almost makes me feel like you craved the feeling of skin too like me and when you sit there and look at me it almost makes me feel like you want me to look back and when you sat there with me in silence when i ate my fiesta potatoes it almost made me feel like you didn't mind my weirdness and when you laughed with me it almost made me feel like we were connected and when you sit near me it makes me feel safer and when you put your hand on my shoulder all i could think about was the warmth radiating from it and when you're around i just never want to separate and when you text me and when you look at me and when you walk and when you smile at me and can you hold me please and can you please tell me everything's okay even though things aren't and thank you for coming with me and please keep holding me and please don't let me go and please kiss me on my cheek and please just tell me im doing a good job and please and please and please and thank you.

0

Sep 30, 2022

Sep 30, 2022 at 11:51 PM UTC

presque.

when you look at me like that it almost makes me feel like you're listening to me and when you speak to me like that with your "hm's" it almost makes me feel like you care about how you speak to me and when you touched my thigh it almost makes me feel like you craved the feeling of skin too like me and when you sit there and look at me it almost makes me feel like you want me to look back and when you sat there with me in silence when i ate my fiesta potatoes it almost made me feel like you didn't mind my weirdness and when you laughed with me it almost made me feel like we were connected and when you sit near me it makes me feel safer and when you put your hand on my shoulder all i could think about was the warmth radiating from it and when you're around i just never want to separate and when you text me and when you look at me and when you walk and when you smile at me and can you hold me please and can you please tell me everything's okay even though things aren't and thank you for coming with me and please keep holding me and please don't let me go and please kiss me on my cheek and please just tell me im doing a good job and please and please and please and thank you.

1

everything within me calls out to you - my thighs burn with flames growing nightly your head fits between them perfectly with my hand resting peacefully in your hair my hands vacant without yours my ******* lack the little memories you like to leave on them my tears too scared to fall without the safety of your fingers caressing them my stomach an easel for your hand tracings and a pillow for your head oh how we laugh when it growls - your name begs on its knees to be called in every sentence i say my words long to fit around it, be its mold your lips have teased me with that crooked smirk and that tongue peaking out with the most mischievous intentions - come.

0

Nov 26, 2021

Nov 26, 2021 at 8:22 PM UTC

cravings

everything within me calls out to you - my thighs burn with flames growing nightly your head fits between them perfectly with my hand resting peacefully in your hair my hands vacant without yours my ******* lack the little memories you like to leave on them my tears too scared to fall without the safety of your fingers caressing them my stomach an easel for your hand tracings and a pillow for your head oh how we laugh when it growls - your name begs on its knees to be called in every sentence i say my words long to fit around it, be its mold your lips have teased me with that crooked smirk and that tongue peaking out with the most mischievous intentions - come.

15

suddenly my fingers have decided to dance across my keyboard let them form what they may - you, you pretty boy i've been avoiding writing this and making it out to you as if you were a treasure i'd found in a cave or cove that i couldn't bare to lose as if you'd brought me so much fortune and happiness but really you were more of a leech not letting me go and keeping me within your sights giving me an inch, a speck of your attention, a sliver of you - you kept me up at night the way you'd run across the mind never leaving but instead made yourself too comfortable interjecting when anyone else thought of coming into the palace you'd built for yourself - i was crazy about you despite you being a walking log of inconsistencies and disappointments with your random texts and acts of closeness despite you hurting me so much with your constant returns and empty sentences because you've never had enough to say - still i just couldn't bring myself to say or even think anything negative about you. i wanted to keep my faith in you, that you'd let me in the murky waters you'd surrounded yourself with. even now there's still this atomic size of hope i've kept locked away for you - for so long i wanted to remain mature, the bigger person, the adult but i'm only 17 so, in that case - **** you and **** off.

0

Apr 9, 2021

Apr 9, 2021 at 1:00 PM UTC

little exhale

suddenly my fingers have decided to dance across my keyboard let them form what they may - you, you pretty boy i've been avoiding writing this and making it out to you as if you were a treasure i'd found in a cave or cove that i couldn't bare to lose as if you'd brought me so much fortune and happiness but really you were more of a leech not letting me go and keeping me within your sights giving me an inch, a speck of your attention, a sliver of you - you kept me up at night the way you'd run across the mind never leaving but instead made yourself too comfortable interjecting when anyone else thought of coming into the palace you'd built for yourself - i was crazy about you despite you being a walking log of inconsistencies and disappointments with your random texts and acts of closeness despite you hurting me so much with your constant returns and empty sentences because you've never had enough to say - still i just couldn't bring myself to say or even think anything negative about you. i wanted to keep my faith in you, that you'd let me in the murky waters you'd surrounded yourself with. even now there's still this atomic size of hope i've kept locked away for you - for so long i wanted to remain mature, the bigger person, the adult but i'm only 17 so, in that case - **** you and **** off.

29

i don't know the exact moment i became so selfish maybe the moment i let go of all the things you wanted for me and decided to just breathe in my own air. i don't know the exact moment i stopped being the perfect daughter you want me to be probably both times you thought to ask me if i liked girls or when you asked me if i needed to see a therapist after finding the letters i don't know the exact moment i started to go into my own head for comfort instead of with my friends now it's my thoughts that haunt me and make me shake like no earthquake could

0

Feb 26, 2021

Feb 26, 2021 at 7:04 PM UTC

those moments

i don't know the exact moment i became so selfish maybe the moment i let go of all the things you wanted for me and decided to just breathe in my own air. i don't know the exact moment i stopped being the perfect daughter you want me to be probably both times you thought to ask me if i liked girls or when you asked me if i needed to see a therapist after finding the letters i don't know the exact moment i started to go into my own head for comfort instead of with my friends now it's my thoughts that haunt me and make me shake like no earthquake could

8

i'm so used to someone cutting me off or just the lack of attention to what i'm actually saying that now i'm almost scared when people really listen to me i wait for the punchline of their sick joke and their gutwrenching laugh that will soon follow *** every word is a risk

0

Oct 10, 2020

Oct 10, 2020 at 1:43 AM UTC

a late night confession

i'm so used to someone cutting me off or just the lack of attention to what i'm actually saying that now i'm almost scared when people really listen to me i wait for the punchline of their sick joke and their gutwrenching laugh that will soon follow *** every word is a risk

5

you play at the edges of my mind taking more of me every time you come there is no prevention i could take against you i've put trees along my coastlines by thinking of other people, putting on movies, doing work i've even tried deleting your name, shoving it down to my murky depths i hoped you'd stay there for everything you've made me feel but you simply refuse to be forgotten you only come back stronger with every tide

0

Oct 8, 2020

Oct 8, 2020 at 5:26 PM UTC

l'érosion

you play at the edges of my mind taking more of me every time you come there is no prevention i could take against you i've put trees along my coastlines by thinking of other people, putting on movies, doing work i've even tried deleting your name, shoving it down to my murky depths i hoped you'd stay there for everything you've made me feel but you simply refuse to be forgotten you only come back stronger with every tide

8

if i am to die soon don't let my one of my so-called friends paint me as this happy person because they never bothered to check up on me. don't let them try to joke about if i would've liked the color of the casket or say any of the cheesy **** no you don't feel my presence, you feel your guilt seeping through and want to change our last interaction to offer you some kind of comfort no i'm not an angel in the sky looking down on you. i'm dead. don't try to find comfort in my death. fathom the darkness that will keep me better than you ever could. as you sit there with my absence i hope you're slapped by the heavy silence just i was from all the dark nights spent crying in my room wondering what was wrong with me.

0

Jul 27, 2020

Jul 27, 2020 at 11:27 AM UTC

if i am to die soon

if i am to die soon don't let my one of my so-called friends paint me as this happy person because they never bothered to check up on me. don't let them try to joke about if i would've liked the color of the casket or say any of the cheesy **** no you don't feel my presence, you feel your guilt seeping through and want to change our last interaction to offer you some kind of comfort no i'm not an angel in the sky looking down on you. i'm dead. don't try to find comfort in my death. fathom the darkness that will keep me better than you ever could. as you sit there with my absence i hope you're slapped by the heavy silence just i was from all the dark nights spent crying in my room wondering what was wrong with me.

13

memory is cruel the way it just sits there mocking you as the simple familiarity brought back to me by the simple smell or gesture the comfort that it brings, and the heart drop i get once i remember what happened but no matter, i don't want to forget you or the way we would laugh at the stupidest things nor the inside jokes created that we still find the courage to tell something left behind not allowing us to truly forget

0

Mar 14, 2020

Mar 14, 2020 at 11:22 AM UTC

Lingerings

memory is cruel the way it just sits there mocking you as the simple familiarity brought back to me by the simple smell or gesture the comfort that it brings, and the heart drop i get once i remember what happened but no matter, i don't want to forget you or the way we would laugh at the stupidest things nor the inside jokes created that we still find the courage to tell something left behind not allowing us to truly forget

12

i find myself wishing that you never lose the color in your eyes or the tone in your hushed voice or the subtlety of your warm smiles i find myself restraining myself from touching you and your precious fingers that have brushed mine ever so gently and your candy, pink lips that have teased me ever so tame i find you sitting ever so comfortable in my thoughts crossing my mind with such ferocity it scares me

0

Dec 27, 2019

Dec 27, 2019 at 11:15 AM UTC

j'trouve

i find myself wishing that you never lose the color in your eyes or the tone in your hushed voice or the subtlety of your warm smiles i find myself restraining myself from touching you and your precious fingers that have brushed mine ever so gently and your candy, pink lips that have teased me ever so tame i find you sitting ever so comfortable in my thoughts crossing my mind with such ferocity it scares me

8

everyday i dive. i've gotten so good at it, i don't even need the practice. not to brag or anything but i don't even need to warm-up. i get my legs ready to kick, and my arms ready to open themselves to the vastness of the cold, rough water. nothing goes through my head as i do it, and i submerge myself just enough not to go too far... *** And as the bell rings, I pick up my things, and prepare for the next trip out to sea.

0

Sep 3, 2019

Sep 3, 2019 at 10:39 PM UTC

complacency

everyday i dive. i've gotten so good at it, i don't even need the practice. not to brag or anything but i don't even need to warm-up. i get my legs ready to kick, and my arms ready to open themselves to the vastness of the cold, rough water. nothing goes through my head as i do it, and i submerge myself just enough not to go too far... *** And as the bell rings, I pick up my things, and prepare for the next trip out to sea.

7