it took three years, it took all that panic
anxiety, insomnia, emotions cycled like I was an addict
my mind got the best of me, left me stranded in an attic
and after all the time, that happiness is back in
these people always thought "lazy kid, another slacker"
when my mind was in a place, that much blacker
always believed in fantasy, happily ever after
now I'm just playing back this game of life like I'm sitting in a rafter
that laughter, those moments
I have this life and now I own it
I'm promoting that motivation, with the passion coating
and toting these dreams
life is better than it's ever been
feelings sides of me that I've never seen
but it's my time now
darling, I'm fine now
I'm happy right now
look at the stuff I'm typing out
it always used to be that sad stuff
it always used to be that mad stuff
it always used to be that bad stuff
but now I picked my head back up
it always used to be that downer ****
it always used to be that dead flower ****
but now I'm all about that power, ****
stronger than ever
I'm living life sunny like February
after being so cold in December
Jan 17, 2015
Jan 17, 2015 at 3:30 PM UTC
the precedent a disaster,
the future a glow
with those dreams up high falling like snow
and I'm rowing my boat
because this year I refuse to sink
last year my mind my worst nightmare
this year all I want to do is think
and earn and try
defy my mind making me want to cry
and look behind to something I want no reminder
tick tock, the timer
this year my love, I lay behind her
reaching for those stars above,
these words written, finding myself
through those past sad poems spread among my binder
i will reach for those stars in the sky until i cant fly higher
no more relying on the web, no longer a spider
but im a tiger, im the predator and these dreams are the prey
finally finding myself, it was harder than a needle in the hay
im finally finding myself, and rather than a phobia of tomorrow
that bottled up sorrow, that sad mad kid
im going for the goal
ill pull off a hat trick
Jan 1, 2015
Jan 1, 2015 at 1:48 AM UTC
you are a part of me, no longer good
a malignant tumor, that's what's understood
you make me feel pain, selfish for your pleasure
I'd give up a lot, just to have you severed
because I no longer want to see you when I wake up,
I no longer want to see you when I sleep
I no longer want you to be a part of me anymore
you make me so sick I can't eat
you treat me like garbage, you throw me out cause I'm a bother
you are the filthy one, like unfiltered water
please let these thoughts of you escape me,
I'm locked in this prison and it's nothing but anxiety I'm given
I loved you once, why do I still care?
why do I see you in my mind?
I wish you weren't there
but I can't help but feed on the good
when you just feed on my sad
these memories once were good
now all they are, are bad
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 4:38 PM UTC
my heart is a violin, you played with my heart strings
I was hungry for love, but now for happiness I'm starving
darling, my mind is a movie theater and it's our memories I'm watching
scarring my mind, you're still a part of me
but now I can give up trying to be what you want to see
honestly, the memories are good but I want an eraser
because when I say goodbye, I'll just see you in my mind later
you colored my life with marker, but now I'm starting to see grayer
I disfavor everything that we turned to
you lit my paper heart and I'm sorry that it burned you
I turned to the worst, I got out of hand
spilling dramatic feelings like an emotional soda can
but I had the right to be angry and people are different when they're mad
although you knew you had the knife, and you even took a stab
so is it my fault? it's what I wonder in the ending
because everything was so flawless from that perfect beginning
but I guess we're mismatched puzzle pieces, we can no longer connect
so I'm left with your frog bag of memories, trying to dissect
electing for the memories to go and pass me like a car
but I can only throw my baseball of a heart so far,
and so far it really ***** but I guess it's for the better
and you'll always be a part of me, but no longer warm me like a sweater
and so far it really ***** but I guess it's for the better
things would be different if it was later that I met her
Dec 7, 2014
Dec 7, 2014 at 3:58 PM UTC
our relationship is akin to an 8-year-old,
I'm warm near you, but far away I get cold,
I spy you in my thoughts, I want to hold you like a bat
let us hold each other, sitting on that grade school mat
we play hide and seek with our words, we hide our anger and seek love
and try to grip it tight like a club with a golf glove,
attempting to settle the score even if we play for fun
because we're both just trying to be each others #1
but sometimes our words fight, cops and robbers
and after we'll regret it because really, why bother
we can quote old movies, "I am your father."
until we are old, and I sat to our kids "I am your father."
let us grow old with wrinkles, our love will stay young
we can play these childish games, but with this rare love
we've already won
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 3:11 PM UTC
the loneliness is akin to the air,
as close and tight as my own flesh and blood,
these veins like roots in my tree of a body
from which leaves of things sprout upon my mind;
my hands attempt to grasp that thin air
as if I had the ability to empower it,
but I'm suppressed by the notion of my own thoughts;
they stab these bars around me like a prison,
the bars slowly gravitate towards me locking in
and it's overwhelming;
my voice has as much influence as a pebble on earth
and no matter how much I may beg or scream,
it will not do a thing for me but let those bars crush me
until I am nothing but dust, nothing but a pebble on earth
Dec 5, 2014
Dec 5, 2014 at 2:34 PM UTC
I feel lost in the world, weightless at will
floating away, zero gravity pill
lost balloon, myself to ****
because the good is the bad
and the bad is the real
because dreams distort,
mirror in a funhouse
and you keep having fun
until they turn the lights out
and then the lights on,
sun shining in your face
reality is not my destination
ready to get lost in space;
you can catch me staring off
like a wonderland on the horizon
see something unique and
it is what I set my eyes on
so when the teachers yell
I just look and sigh long
dreams bright like nylon
and you can see in the distance
but along that route
you'll get lost in an instant
give me a map, not happy
because my route is not reality
paranoid, delusional
thinking everybody is mad at me
people are good, maybe I'm just bad at me
my good ran out like it was a battery,
they drop me like a mirror
yet they don't shatter me,
everyone like a clone,
earths a human factory,
I want to get lost in space
weightless, zero gravity
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 4:10 PM UTC
her skin as smooth as the clouds look,
enticing eyes as blue as the ocean,
darling, let me go out to sail
and I don't want a map because
I am alright with getting lost in you;
let our souls go out to dance and
we can stare up into the night sky
laying side by side with nothing but
each others warmth, between us
and between us, is something special
and just as special is you to me
so if I act a fool, love
it's because I'm a fool for love
so hold my hand and bond with me
so we can lose ourselves as one
we are halves, put us together like a puzzle
and only then will you see the four letters
on display in front of you
Dec 4, 2014
Dec 4, 2014 at 3:58 PM UTC
do you remember when we were happy
do you remember when things were good
do you remember when we treated each other like we should
we've turned from humans to cannibals,
devouring each other like animals
to see who can eat their heart first like an episode of hannibal
but give me a remote, please rewind
back to those happy memories when you were mine
it was so divine, it was so divine
but now I'm just wishing things would at least be fine
I am not a controller, I can't pause and think
I'm just slipping on ice like a hockey rink
and like a hockey rink, I just keep getting colder
feeling like I'm crazy, full of ******* disorders
so I pick up the remote, I hope it can rewind
because what I remember, is what it should be like all of the time
and not this **** that makes me scared, this **** that makes me sad
this **** that ******* kills me, its this **** that makes me mad
because we were everything, our souls bonded like superglue
if I could drive back in time, I'd jump in that suburu
walk in my shoes, feel my pain and tell me what you would do
because I lose my temper, but that can't be helped
you can only take so much, that can't be helped
and the crazy thing about it is even after the fighting
you lit up my life, bright like lightning
so please tell me if you remember those memories of love
those corny lines, wondering if you were sent from above
but now those memories fly away like a dove, and if I could fly,
I would go and catch them, because I want to collect our joy again,
but now all I want to do is die, so take me back to december
when everything was fine, tell me do you remember
remember when you were mine?
Dec 1, 2014
Dec 1, 2014 at 3:16 PM UTC
I used to stare at my phone,
and hope the message was you
but the staring changed to sadness
when you didn't come through,
and I wonder why it had to come to this dumb ****
cause right now I just wanna feel numb, ****
things change every day, and I guess it applies to you
because when you change for the worst, really what can I do
and you can blame me all you want
tell me I'm the mean one
but how can I be happy when you're colder than winter season
I don't wanna let the snow fall, someone bring me to spring
because all in all, I thought you were my ring
that you'd always be with me, but now the fat lady sings
but I realize it's for the better, I mean I miss the happy times
and writing you corny poems, giving you corny rhymes
and I just miss everything, I want to rewind
but then we'd be back at the same spot, saying goodbye
so I'm saying goodbye, I'll let the winter pass
and hopefully soon I'll be warm like summer
I just hope it comes fast
Nov 19, 2014
Nov 19, 2014 at 11:17 AM UTC