All i have on my mind is you
I try to stop but it pushes through
These lips speak the truth
That im no longer blue
You gave me the will to survive
Your jokes keep me alive
Your voice is like an angel chime
In the depth of your words i could dive
How can someone so pure exist
Oh how i long for our trysts
The things I wish to do is a long list
We could make the mirrors mist
I wish we could rest our lips
While we gently hold each others hips
In those warm eyes i would take a dip
We could take your Paris trip
In the balcony I'm standing
While Lana Del Rey is singing
I wish your hand i was holding
While we explore past this grey cladding
Im still in absolute denial
For you i will always go the extra mile
Loving you almost feels like a crime
But then how could it be so divine
My skin becomes charred
By every incident that has occurred
My longing for is no longer muttered
I love you, I think its clear
You got me dancing on my toes
I dont care about people's crows
This love is true even God knows
My heart bleeds, does it show?
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 2:56 AM UTC
Long hours pass by, waiting for his text,
All i have on my mind is what will i type next.
Our chats is my nest;
Is this a test?
Oh! Those letters on the screen,
Have the power of saving my sanity.
People say i should keep it as an amenity,
But to my heart its a necessity.
Our hands may never meet,
But my veins have the distance sealed.
Your greeting makes my heart beat;
When i talk to you I've got a skip in my feet.
I'll pray to every god i swear,
To have a minute to spare,
To touch you is my dare,
I love the way you care.
If you leave me my heart will rupture,
Cause you have given my life structure.
I'll be there to nurture;
I'll be there for you.
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 2:13 AM UTC
My idol once said,"let the light in",
And those words are lingerin'.
He is my window pain;
His words are blinding
I ache to be a tree;
Swaying in his light is my sole deed.
To see him glow is a need;
I don't care if you call it greed
I'll make sure the pools glisten
While my heart has gone missin'.
His smile is the faith i believe in.
Oh! he has got me fantasizin'
Now my cheeks burn cherry red;
This hunger cannot be fed.
One touch- and my skin is shed.
For him, I would be alive and dead.
Why do my words not spill?
Why are my lips still?
My cries are shrill;
This mystery is a thrill.
My bones are ablaze;
This love is a maze;
But i don't mind being in this haze
This yearning is like a summer rain;
Its a relief from the arson's bane.
But its also wet from the tears drained;
Its what keeps my world sane.
So I will chant his name;
I'll walk done his lane,
Even if it's walking into a lion's mane,
Or limping with a cane.
Just Let me be yours
Jun 16, 2025
Jun 16, 2025 at 2:05 AM UTC
I’m a walking insult.
I’m a piece of ****
I’m a ******* mistake.
No, that felt too dignifying.
Is that more than what I deserve?
Did that make you laugh?
Your jokes describe me too well.
I nod with every letter said.
I feel my face flush scarlet
So ashamed I change —
real defining clue of myself —
like a snake skin sheds.
I want to be dehumanised.
I want to be violated
I want them to forget me.
I want to be an empty vessel.
I want to slit my throat.
I don’t want your warm affection.
Now my dreams echo hollow.
Every night, my head against the pillow,
revising every morsel I swallowed,
hoping there is no tomorrow —
As I walk to join the hanging bodies in the gallows.
They laugh and frolic in the sun with their slim waists.
You say I’m kind. Considerate,
but I just want your validation.
I’m a narcissist to the core.
Hope I’m not the bile in your throat,
or the acid that burns your hollow heart.
Did that make you laugh?
May 12, 2025
May 12, 2025 at 1:47 AM UTC
You say my grades don’t matter.
You say, “I love you no matter what.”
Then why am I invisible?
Why do they only see the red numbers on my sheet?
You ask me, “Is everything fine?”
What do you expect me to say —
that I’m f****d up?
That I dream about leaving?
That I keep a blade in my front pocket?
You say I don’t share,
but you don’t pay attention.
I play the piano till my fingers bleed,
I scream songs that reflect me,
I even talked to you.
Maybe it’s because you liked me,
never loved me.
Maybe I’m so flawed I can’t see,
or maybe it’s both.
Maybe we’re both flawed —
we’re only human.
May 7, 2025
May 7, 2025 at 2:18 AM UTC
I want this to end
please everything just stop!
I'm begging you oh! God
i can't deal with this
I want to cut myself so deep that all i become is bone
I want to smash my head against the wall
make paintings with my blood
PLEASE STOP!
You tell me that you're concerned
but then why do you ignore me
like a pig on a street
is that what you think of me?
I'm done trying
My legs broken from carrying this pain
my windpipe punctured by the comments you make
My skin crimson form the cuts i create
I get hooked with a therapist
but instead of help ,all they blab is ********
that makes me question to my broken core
Am I going mad?
Can you ******* shut up
all i want is to be alone
all i want to be is held
by someone who loves me unconditionally
you say your love is pure
but is it? you manipulate me
I love you, but do you love me?
You made me question everything
Your ******* homophobic mindset,
its so revolting , I feel ashamed to be your son
You say no matter what happpens you are my son
but the very next second you spill your guts
I'm sorry i disappoint you constantly
I'm sorry, I bleed
I'm sorry, I'm weak
I'm sorry, would you ever forgive me?
May 6, 2025
May 6, 2025 at 10:01 AM UTC
Somewhere beyond the veil, far from the claws of civility,
Past the grey building that echos hostility,
Lies a humble hearth that would save my sanity,
touched by the goddess Hestia’s divinity.
Oh! Look-emerging from the lemon orchards is my lover,
Who runs to bring me a four leaf clover.
His golden touch makes me shiver;
I swear you could see his eyes shimmer.
You could taste the saline breeze,
That sprints from the languid sea;
the waves thrash in a symphony-
My brush drips with aquamarine.
You can smell the warm honeyed sky,
Curling from the fresh baked pies,
Or from the midnight hyacinths that cry ,
That my golden one helped reach the sky.
Those delicate fingers pluck the stings of the lyre,
Resonating a rhapsody the gods admire,
That fills my heart with desire,
As I look dumbstruck ,this heartthrob I’ve acquired.
You say,“when you know you know”,
And I think I will finally grow’
With my arms linked with my beau’
As we cocoon under the weeping willow.
But my ears rings with screams,
As I realise it was all a dream;
My sheets wet from the streams-
Was it all just my mind’s scheme?
My world now is once again grey.
I don’t know how will I go about my day;
My hands have no-one left to sway,
For I am as lonely as they say.
You tell me, that memory I should not save,
But my heart is not that brave.
For after all, I am my grief’s slave-
You know each day I wish I were in my grave.
May 6, 2025
May 6, 2025 at 1:06 AM UTC
The salty stream of pain streaks across my face
And my mind lost in an ashen haze,
I yearn for an understanding gaze,
But the world is lost in their own maze.
Standing on the ledge of annihilation; screaming give me a reason
Was a child of the summer, my soul used to shimmer.
The morning daylight that once made my heart flutter,
Now charrs my back to the colours of dying embers.
Standing on the ledge of annihilation ; screaming give me a reason
I used to finger paint the world with vibrant hues.
This sadness, silent but wailing for rescue,
And its underpainting has dappled me blue.
Standing on the ledge of annihilation; screaming give me a reason
My heart is tired of flooding blood to this prison.
The cuts now bleed crimson.
My own thoughts have committed treason.
Standing on the ledge of annihilation; screaming give me a reason
Apr 26, 2025
Apr 26, 2025 at 1:07 AM UTC
A red blade lies there, my hands trembling,
My palms covered in blood, my fingertips twitching,
With red liquid, from the cuts bleeding.
When my eye catches my reflection,
They turn red from rejection,
Not by someone, but from my own aversion.
When my thoughts are free, and my heart bleeds,
I feel the attention on the rolls of fat as it kneads,
My face looks disgusted ,as the double chin heeds.
My feet are tired from climbing up the road,
My spine split from carrying the load,
My heart sick of drowning in the tears of the pain never told.
The walls closing in
The white noise increasing
The blade appealing
A red blade lies there, my hands trembling,
My palms covered in blood, my fingertips twitching,
With red liquid, from the cuts bleeding.
Apr 26, 2025
Apr 26, 2025 at 1:04 AM UTC