you say she's just a friend
but "just a friend" wouldn't visit you at work on your first day.
"just a friend" doesn't lay in your lap
while you play with her hair.
"just a friend" doesn't flirt with you.
"just a friend" wouldn't make me want to see myself bleed.
"just a friend" would be just a friend.
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 8:06 PM UTC
How can you accept the fact
that you’re just a ****** person?
How can you walk around
like the world’s in your hands,
but have nothing to show for it?
How do you manage to make
everything about yourself,
knowing good and well you wouldn’t have
even gotten this far if you hadn’t had help?
How can you just take the credit
and run faster than the wind?
How is it even possible for you
to get away with it again and again?
I wish I understood why you think
you can play the victim.
when the cops showed up
you had the knife n your hands
still dripping the deep red serum.
How can you just lie
without an ounce of remorse?
Have you no shame at all?
No, you couldn’t possibly comprehend
exactly what it is to feel this hurt.
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 10:32 AM UTC
The house that I live in was built from scratch
with the door painted red,
and the memories to match.
The bricks and mortar line the porch like veins;
Each connected to the other like rain drops on my window pane.
Doorknobs of crystal, sit shattered, upon my red door,
so, sadly, no one cares to come inside anymore.
The inside is dreary,
with deep shades of gray,
and writing on the wall that's starting to fade.
Words, once printed so clearly,
that explain just how it all ended up this way.
It's sad really, when you think about it enough;
before the crystal doorknobs on the front door were broken
these rooms were filled with people
who were all just so preoccupied to look up.
The stair case, it leans, like the intoxicated version of myself.
Unable to hold the weight of anything more than itself.
I haven't been up there in years,
in fear that if I try
the climb might collapse
and I don't think I'd be able to escape with my life.
The rooms on the bottom floor are all molded to to ceiling
from years of water damage and no proper upkeeping.
There's nothing in them anymore since my roommates vacated,
so the rooms sit abandoned, black, and vacant.
The hallway is lined with old frames;
pictures of memories, faded, from better days.
They're falling apart, wood splitting and broken.
Who are these people in these photos, and do they remember me anymore?
In the kitchen, the sink, sits piled with dishes.
Even if I chose to wash them, there's no water to do it.
From inside, there's only one happy place.
I sit behind the front door and watch as the dawn breaks.
The sunshine bleeds through and the colors come dancing.
At dawn, every morning, from inside my house
there's a split second of happiness when the sun comes around.
It's all I look forward to, surrounded by this mess.
When the sun goes away, I turn my back to the door
and I realize, I'll be stuck inside these four walls forever more.
It's a surprise to say this house is still standing.
It should have given way years ago like the others around it.
I can't rebuild, cause what would that make me?
How could I ever bear to tear apart the house that is me?
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 10:06 AM UTC
There’s this constant internal battle
between my heart and my brain.
The heart, on one hand, runs on emotion
and in the other, is the logic that keeps me-barely- sane.
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 10:00 AM UTC
Its finally done
At the break of dawn
everything we had
Now riddled and gone
After all that we were
The torment and lies
Corrupted hearts entwined
And our toxic love dies
It hurts deep within my soul
My heart begins to cry
How many times
Must I have to die?
Why is it that
They never decide to stay
Our all to them we give
Though they leave at the end of each day
Piece by piece
We give ourselves away
To fill the broken voids
Of people who have swayed
Smaller and smaller
We are dying inside
Trapped but willingly
caged from the skies
A Hefty price we happily pay
To see a simply smile upon their face
In return we are left with nothing
We gently fall from grace
Love and affection
thats all we ever wanted
Use us, Abuse us
Then leave us forgotten
Hush now be silent
another has come along
Maybe you should ask them
Before blaming them for being wrong
Open up and let them in
Let them see what's truly beneath
Show them what you truly hide
Behind that beautiful mask you keep
Broken and wounded
My dear little heart
But its okay to try again
This time you wont fall apart
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 9:56 AM UTC
Distance, is this air around me that is vacant of you.
Your heart, so far from mine, though I can hear it’s music.
Patience, is the belief that time without you is bearable.
Seconds slowly scrape along the line I drew to wake.
Nothing matches this ache.
of opening eyes to mornings, without your laughter.
Closing them is redundant,
it does not permit me back, to revisit the dream I had left you in.
Eyes instead reluctantly greet the sunrise,
whilst yours are still dancing, flickering, in the gift sleep brings.
I wonder if your searching for me.
Impatient hands long to pull you prematurely out of slumber. Reaching across this border in vain, restless mind teasing me,
as it thinks of holding you, kissing you, here. now.
Dare I soften the white peaks of the mountains that part us?
I mustn’t, thinks the patient witness of time I’ll wait for you on the other side my dear...join me, soon, I wait eagerly.
Jun 25, 2018
Jun 25, 2018 at 9:52 AM UTC