Pain has me wondering. Wish it wasn't so scary, I hate that failure is so Demanding. Laughing in agony, whats this hurt that?
It's duel mental paralyzing ache that has me laying down. Body sore with a aching tearing muscles that tare me away from time. I nap with that freezing, hands not steady to do anything. Feels like I tore everything from limb to limb. I pinch myself til my nails to make me bleed. I try to snap out of it because it maybe a bad dream. This pain makes me feel like im losing everything 💔
Dec 3, 2025
Dec 3, 2025 at 9:36 PM UTC
We need to talk. Forget your everyday activities, I'm about to ruin that cherry on top. I'll start by saying our agreements reached to a stop, all because it's something I forgot.
I need you to struggle three times harder. Then lose it all as if we wasn't working any smarter.
Only thing I can offer is a half apology, after all I was never there for you anyway. Sorry to have ruined another day. Enjoy figuring it out.
Do you remember everything I never said? Why did you forget? After all you stayed as I left.
Lately I've been living off a cigarette. I've got my life slowly back on track. But since I caught a breather, I don't get the whole break. I'm in charge of losing everything once again. I want to go to a place where I never have to lose my mind because that **** will never be open. Once upon a homeless story! I'm fighting another battle that shouldn't have been mine. I wish I can shut down for months at a time. When will happiness be mine?
Dec 1, 2025
Dec 1, 2025 at 10:09 PM UTC
A lot of people I know are passionate in that depression cell. It's the truth allow me to tell. Most of us suffer from several raw emotions we isolate inside. I'm angry with my heart sad. Oh man was I going mad. I tell you, there's more to tell if this depressing spell. You're trapped in your own head full of fears that change you. Can change your social life, loved ones lives, have I mentioned your life yet? I chain smoke cigarettes. I try to distract myself with my cell while being trapped in a whole barricaded cell. My innersides scream and yell at my heart to get up. Reach for that hand that can guide you through that crowd. You mustn't stay paralyzed and the amount of bed rot you've taken. Breathe. You're not okay, you're "fine"
But you're scared. Good! Scary is good if you redirect your fear to rising fall back and reset. I'll still have a light for my cigarette. I'll be angry for the wrong misunderstood reasons. But I'm feeling something. Good, first step to problem solving. Next one.....get up and go. Fall and fail, thats part of the battle but you're not going to lose. You've seen what depression can do. You've seen and heard lives being lost. Not you, you keep moving. Cry, yell, scream, fight, isolate, sleep, drink, and feel sorry for yourself. Then get back up and move. Keep going. Life won't stop, why wait. Catch up with yourself <3
Nov 28, 2025
Nov 28, 2025 at 7:48 AM UTC
You're a unique person that makes me wonder, I need your number. Got the impression you work harder, thats felt and together we'd be stronger. I can promise nights in, working, and unwinding. Live laugh and lovin. Darling what you doing? I wish to tell you something. I see you, I understand you. I admire you, I've Desired you. Tell me, whats it like? That beauty! It's freeing me and I'm wondering? Where have you been?
Sep 27, 2025
Sep 27, 2025 at 3:03 AM UTC
The distance between myself & my doubts caused me to crumble & fall. Heart breaks when I fall off. Fell in love with the broken promises, the hate, & my insecurities drowning my eyes. I think I'd rather lose it all. My words didn't break the fall. I've been lying from words, feels, and beds. Still managed to be honest with my regrets. Please allow these inner demons to be forgiven but not forgotten. I've learned a lot from a darker side of my soul. Tell me I'm not enough. My genuine over protection will show it all. I'll isolate myself to avoid feeling at defeat. Cry myself to sleep, kicking the tears I've drowned myself deep. Tell me all I got to do is stand on my feet. I'm a long way from myself! I wish to have the love I crave because I know it'll help. Realizing I'm avoiding hell. You don't know me at all. Love was never the words I've heard, but it was body languages that took away the hurt. When it's quiet enough, I found the truth that didn't require any words. How often was I loved? That's a observation I'd really have to make. Dealt with so much alone, forgotten what it's like to reach out. Lately I've isolated where it's cold, the chills brought me to a quieter place. A place where I feel safe.
Aug 15, 2025
Aug 15, 2025 at 10:18 AM UTC
Out of all the things that burn in my head, I froze upon destruction with words I never said. My dad had taught me sometimes there isn't anywhere to hide, especially when it was time for a goodbye. If only it was upon his arms I'd isolate and hide. Now you can see these scars when I wave. One day they'll disappear when I decay. If I were to lose, I'd never say goodbye. Some battles aren't meant to take flight. But I'll always welcome anyone in my arms. These scars have love to pass around, not a cure but the hopes of comfort wrapped around my chest. I've hurt like hell and still got some regrets. Remind me again..... who was I when everyone left? I've been so bottled up, detoxed before. Have been locked in my head. But the pain has that silence only one in particular heard clear as day. Now I'm making plans to visit her grave. I need you
"Here with me"
Mom has always been a distance further closer to me. Dad has been the one to hold me at peace. Somedays these scars reopen the mental battles that chose defeat. I wanna sing, I wanna cry, I wanna laugh, I wanna hide. Still no time for goodbyes. Just a brief wave, a waving motion in the air. I promised a destination to find, one day you'll visit me there.
Aug 5, 2025
Aug 5, 2025 at 12:54 AM UTC
She held on to me as if I wasn't returning. Her reassurance blooms the darkest places in my head. A simple smile had me at peace. The silence in my head, the words from her lips, the safety of her presence. I don't think there is a word that detail the feelings I've gained. Have not found myself alone and thats okay. She had guided me and showed me two broken pieces can make a whole.
Aug 4, 2025
Aug 4, 2025 at 1:04 AM UTC
A beautiful desire
Eyes full of stories
Lips full of delight
First off.....
What a beautiful smile she has
A kiss please?
I want time to slow
I adore that smile I simply can not get enough :)
Jul 28, 2025
Jul 28, 2025 at 9:20 AM UTC
If you were to check on me, I'd seem fine. A smile with a dash of delight. Hugs and kisses to disguise. If you asked me...I'd lie. Hold you tightly, say the famous words...
"I'm fine"
How would you define my depression?
Is it possible to seek my work?
How would I define my worth?
A beautiful desire had me debating.
For the sake of others mental health....I'd found myself faking.
Grandma I'm still fighting.
Dad make room.
Just in case I were to lose.
I don't believe happiness and I have truly met.
Hello, a pleasure to be here I guess.
This storm has really directed me to a kind of beauty you'd never want to miss.
Darkness has perks, the raw emotional damage behind blindness.
Mama please understand my forgiveness.
Tell me I'm a be alright, at least make sure I don't feel your lies. I'd hate to count my goodbyes. Fill me a drink full of something bitter sweet.
Jul 16, 2025
Jul 16, 2025 at 2:07 PM UTC
A ******* coward.
What happened to wanting me, to be happy?
I thought I was worth it.
Maybe I'm not worth ****
But at least I was real with commitment.
At least I put in the effort.
(was the only one willing)
Back to isolation
Back to no trusting
Back away from myself
Turning off my phone
******* coward, should of told me you was afraid of a good man.
Jun 29, 2025
Jun 29, 2025 at 9:57 PM UTC