i sleep with razor blades
tucked tightly under my pillow
i linger in smoke
stop
and smell
flowers
i dig silver blades
in the heels of my feet
walk head high
all womanly
i season my chicken
with crushed up - - -
zolpidem
. . . z
z z z
rub them in good
and nice
Made sure, all the flavors in.
i light my house on
?!!?!?!?!?!?!?! fire ! ! !
maybe… some warmth will come in?
and let my head
rest in the air
- wait a second-
oh! what a mighty view!
i might just be ?
n.b
Aug 25, 2020
Aug 25, 2020 at 8:02 PM UTC
as a young child
with a handful of dandelions in hand
and futures yet to be
i watch the flutters of the winds picking up
its seeds
with my little hands
i blow
and let the tiny dandelion seeds
scatter to the winds
with it the molecules of my breath
carries many of mes’
and sets itself on a journey,
to the ends of my lived earth.
it plants itself, gently
onto the heads and hands
of those that are destined with
what short, what long time it sees with me.
it stays there and plants itself like little trees
growing the seed that is the little me's' name,
smile and face.
and it creates imaginations, it creates dreams
it ponders upon the little me’s’ essence it ponders upon the little me’s’ dreams
with which little me carry, planted within,
with the names, smiles and faces of destined paths that are to begin,
and the trees planted in little me create stories, imaginations and dreams
with which some are tainted and some are at ease.
and like trees those little leaves of smiles, faces and names scatter and fall.
yet some carry on to strengthen at its core.
n.b
Jul 30, 2020
Jul 30, 2020 at 6:09 AM UTC
that i exist in this space and time
in this human body
that is mine
that i get up to feed
get up to ***
brush its hair
and teeth
sometimes i forget that im a face
that im a body that takes up space
i forget
i am
and i am to perceive
hairs on my arm
hairs on my face
eyelashes
my body
and its face
dually mine
i get shocked at the face that stares me back
in the mirror
i am your remembrance
once you remember me
once more
i look away and i
forget that i breathe
forget that my feet
stand on the ground and walk
as though a normal human being
forget what it is like to be
with others and with me
only remembering the panic of existing
as to uphold others memories of me
n.b
Jul 12, 2020
Jul 12, 2020 at 5:32 PM UTC
its not the same anymore
i know more now
more than that broken child
that i still am
but i guess in some ways
- not
n.b
Jun 11, 2020
Jun 11, 2020 at 7:55 AM UTC
my manacled mind shaped heart
lavishly decked in red blooded fortune cookies telling futures that cease to exist and lonely storytellings of women in love
and the bitter resentment of dawn
and the dances of the silvery stream whispers of the unknown dipped in roses ready to be worn
n.b
Apr 29, 2020
Apr 29, 2020 at 7:07 PM UTC
Be as the concluded myth
that I exist
beating beneath your tongue
in the suck-all-in
intake of breath
that you take
before I decide ; I hate your guts
And let me ponder upon your words
Still my beating heart.
And let my mind know what it wants
know of its fractures
of its eternal return
to thoughtless words
and empty thoughts
let me Love you a little less
Hate you a little more
with the knowledge that My Mind
knows it all
n.b.
Apr 29, 2020
Apr 29, 2020 at 7:06 PM UTC
love?
this emptiness inside
is it love?
is it what
the dreams
and stars of hollywood
are all made up of?
is this the fluttery
glittery
dancing feeling of
love?
is it your broken hearted gaze
is it your back turned towards
my chest?
is it your finger tips
that lay
reserved in another’s hand
is this love?
is this my bright
white wedding?
is this where
i throw my bouquet
and gleam to the world?
is this the same love
that mother used to
sing for me to-sleep
in my bed at night?
is this the love
that i will lay
in a grave
tunnel deep
for?
Nov 8, 2019
Nov 8, 2019 at 5:54 PM UTC
can i stop giving
your words meaning
those that are
but a slip of the tongue
god
it ******* angers me
how much
i think of you
n.b.
Oct 18, 2019
Oct 18, 2019 at 12:01 PM UTC
you are like an addiction
that i cannot beat
an affliction
at the core
when i speak
and think
of you
like a need
winning every time
and i lie
to those around
me
and take another hit
of you
n.b.
Oct 18, 2019
Oct 18, 2019 at 11:59 AM UTC
A Blasphemous insult
to road rages
gutted pigs
and pixie tricks lying
on the headboard
over my too-small bed.
i am malicious
in the way that i am so far
but so very
in
and out
of my head.
dangerous foreplay
numbing cigarette snubs of kitten licks
i pull and tug
at the cancerous death
of Life.
wicked ends of
nights begins
and your lips all over mine.
on repeat.
like a broken cassette until i lay
vomiting over
this projectile mess.
and i search for
words that could
would
describe this
. . .
lingo of broken down
younglings
who for god sings,
and screams,
and do not know.
God, they do not know.
they who have screamed,
for Adam and Eve
and lay wrapped in each others tongues.
noses bleeding,
never-ending
eyes perceiving
what we all have been needing
darkness.
its shrieking
shivering
cries of madness toppled onto
eyes
you have been searching for your whole
Life.
and the mind-numbing
drugs
that you inflict upon yourself
digging your fingers into your skin
searching for flesh
and possibly a soul within.
we are the knocked out
lie living
generation of drunks
losing ourselves
in what we call
love.
n.b.
Oct 6, 2019
Oct 6, 2019 at 4:57 PM UTC