Even though I'm afraid
I'm more afraid of the questions that might follow
I keep my chin up
When inside I'm ashamed and feel so hollow
I can't find the answers So I do the things I'm doing knowing full well that I'm shallow
Jul 1, 2019
Jul 1, 2019 at 11:24 AM UTC
Ive been brought to the point of hate and its
galling
Ive been brought to the point of waterfall tears and its
ugly
Ive been described as a coward for not listening
Ive been described as inconsiderate for not thinking
Ive been described as selfish for not taking what is willing given
I just want to run away
Jun 13, 2019
Jun 13, 2019 at 10:58 AM UTC
my rosy fingered dawn,
tipped one crooked finger,
a come-hither come on,
entangled me in secrets,
hot as sin,
licked me in the ear,
twilight's a long time away,
stay for a while,
rolled that belly like curls on water,
running down her back,
sashayed back and forth,
her hips are just a fact,
drew me in,
drugged on sun-kissed rays,
not letting go,
please,
i'm here to stay,
sshhhh,
its okay,
im here all day,
like a dream in the light of dawn
May 9, 2019
May 9, 2019 at 11:59 AM UTC
some days, I add to my plate, a spoonful of bull and a load of ****
some days, I look in the mirror, disgust clouded my eyes full of doubt
I can't waste another day, slipping through my fingers like the sands of time
Drowning in potential, limit to which mold I can fill it with
face away, don't look at the cracks that fill my certainty
I look back, no regrets, yea right, can only say that cuz it can't be changed
but the only thing I've been doing is knocking on walls
slip and fall, dodging calls, hug the prison I've been living in
open the window, choke on air, be awhile till someone cares
May 9, 2019
May 9, 2019 at 11:44 AM UTC
there was no excuse
no judgement staring back at me
the warmth you exuded, as pure as the driven snow
All that white welcomes me
I've been waiting
May 9, 2019
May 9, 2019 at 11:39 AM UTC
snow fell like downy feathers in an old fashioned pillow fight,
tasting boogers as my tongue attempts to
catch each flake in mid flight,
oh what a sight to behold standing
'neath these twinkling lights,
seeing my breath fade away,
I know it's winter tonight
Jan 10, 2019
Jan 10, 2019 at 10:53 PM UTC
I am a work in progress
sometimes I put myself on hiatus
the only way to get off it I guess is to get back to it
my words reflect my growth, however stagnant it appears
and like a ghost I left my imprint here
and the only way to move on is to let go
someone needs to work with me and decide where I go
constructively criticize my character development
how to shift from static to dynamic
build my plot, don't let me stay too long on the exposition
build me a ****** that gently lets you down
don't let me let you down or stop you from living
think of me fondly, the ending's just the beginning
I've recently understood I'm a fountain of endless possibilities
the road is long
the journey wide open
Nov 11, 2018
Nov 11, 2018 at 6:28 AM UTC
sometimes i forget you’re deaf--- yeah I know, my voice sometimes sounds like yours, but remember you’re seeing my cameo appearance
sign language gives me the ability to see what you feel, the nuances that makes you, you, and hopefully you see that in me too.
my eyes trace the curl of your lips, the lifts of your cheekbones, the crinkles of your eyes, Not because you’re pretty (tho Im sure you think you are), not because I'm creepy, but because it’s my method of carrying on conversations. In your eyes are where I find your words, the verity on your cheeks, the tone on your lips.
Seeing as I can do that, DO...YOOOUU...STILLL...NEEEED...TOOO...TAALLK....LIIKKEE...THIISS? **** NO. Over-enunciation is a thing and I don’t need that ******** I’m deaf, not dumb.
When people ask me, “Did you hear that?!”......HAHAHAHAHHA
There’s also that moment when you can’t distinguish whether your mom’s yelling at you cuz she mad or cuz you can’t hear
One of the best moments ever is like when I turn on my hearing aids and I’m waiting, like I get this start-up music, like windows pc, right? And like whammo! It’s Claritin-HEAR.
That awkward moment when you’ve asked someone to repeat 4 times and you still don’t understand what they said... :/
Calling on the phone. Let me see if I can get you to visualize this:
Ring Ring. Picks up
Hello, may I know whom I’m speaking to?
-Yes, this ---- Im here to talk about---. Is-----ome?
What, can you repeat that?
-Yes of cou--- to talk about---
Wait, Wait. Hold on, let me get my sister.
-Why? It's not---
Here you go.
*Done with conversation
I’ve got other examples: there’s the African accent of my family and friends from Africa. There’s the too quiet, can’t possibly speak louder than a whisper, there’s the too fast for my shirt. There’s the simple phone call from the dispatcher/sales person...There’s too much confusion on both ends and frustration when people on the other end must think you’re rude for wasting their time. I just got to the point that I would sometimes ignore phone calls because I’m not in the mood to embarrass myself not hearing anything they say.
Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 10:20 PM UTC