We splashed in puddles of laughter.
Water chilled our bones,
Made us forget we were alone
Until we parted and went home.
That was painfully long ago.
We’ve drifted to other worlds
Filled with the familiar bliss of chaos.
Your address is still written on my heart,
But you’ve long since departed.
It’s like I’m watching you
From beneath the surface of black water.
And I can’t trace your face
Behind the dark waves.
Every crash washes you further from me.
As the current draws in,
You flow out
Away
Distant
Gone.
Jan 20, 2020
Jan 20, 2020 at 10:21 AM UTC
I’ve been wondering,
Feeling,
Being trodden by you.
You kick me
When I’m down.
You slit
My throat
But patch the wound.
The symphony of scars
On my skin
Tissue,
Is a gift from your arsenal.
As I lie bleeding,
Half awake
On the floor,
You whisper
Lies in my ears
And tell me to disappear.
You turn dreams into nightmares,
Haunt my daily waking.
I push you away
But somehow you’re closer then.
You’re a mind game encased in my skull.
Between the lines, you don’t hold back,
Telling me truths as harsh as you can.
I believe every word injected into my veins
As the paragraphs line up.
I believe you, doubting me.
May 21, 2019
May 21, 2019 at 8:43 PM UTC
Do you remember the day
Our souls first clashed?
Do you remember the way
Our hearts embraced?
Do you remember?
Because I remember
How we connected in hurt,
How we danced under lights,
How we bled from our eyes,
How we loved-
But does it really matter,
If all I have left are memories of you?
Memories,
They’re no substitute for you,
For the waves in your hair,
For the squint in your smile,
For the way you say my name,
Or for the way you drive.
So I want to forget you,
Because I can’t be with you,
Because I had to say goodbye.
And though it’s not forever,
It could be
And probably will be,
Forever.
Mar 5, 2019
Mar 5, 2019 at 7:44 PM UTC
For every mind that's set ablaze
Every hurt beyond expression.
For every Treasure lost to madness,
Every piercing, crippling doubt.
For every priceless Soul,
Who's lost all hope.
Fight like hell, you are beautiful.
Oct 10, 2018
Oct 10, 2018 at 7:58 PM UTC
Eyes unraveling
Layers torn away
Each one tells a tale
Every false one thinner
Until I see you
See you
Oct 8, 2018
Oct 8, 2018 at 2:39 AM UTC
Let’s talk of love,
Of sunsets,
And peace,
Let’s talk of roses
And romance,
And full glasses of champagne.
Let’s,
Talk of joy
And having a baby,
And windchimes,
And feasts,
And,
Well,
Anything.
But let’s not talk of hate,
Or war
Or crimson rivers;
Wounds crackling with pus,
Popping scabs,
The sizzling gashes on my face.
Don’t speak of lost soldiers with forgotten limbs.
Don’t think,
Of discrimination,
And sorrow,
And divided skin.
Don’t waste a single breath
On misfits,
Outcasts,
Or widows.
Ignore conversing about infants
Left in the gutter,
Or orphans without arms,
Or bombings,
Or fire in the streets.
Don’t mention parents
Who **** their children.
I don’t want to know
About ******
Trauma,
And ****
Don’t look at the spires
Constructed of bodies,
With insects crawling out holes,
And eating out frowns.
Absolutely never speak,
Of anger and sadness
And anything in between.
Why bother with illness
Of mind,
Body,
Spirit.
Forget about the times
When liberty bled.
That’s not on my conscience.
Why mention families,
Torn,
Apart.
Why speak of agony,
And brokenness,
And death?
Don’t speak,
Of suffering
At all.
But let’s talk,
About anything,
And everything,
Anything at all.
As long
As it’s not,
You.
Oct 6, 2018
Oct 6, 2018 at 11:14 AM UTC
Tell me,
The story of you.
But tell it quick.
In less than a page.
Actually,
Just send me the link
And I’ll read it later.
I’m busy,
With the story of me.
Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 3:24 PM UTC
I’ve tasted galaxies of life
And death
And sorrows past feeling.
Of joy without limit
And the doubting of self.
I’ve drunk rivers of peace
And oceans of boundless wonder.
I’ve breathed in clouds of self-pity
And enjoyed the smells of meadows
Filled with unending mystery.
But I’m not you.
I will never be like you.
And even when our souls do
Touch.
I feel more distant when we part
Than before we met.
But you feel fulfilled,
Enlightened even.
Like I’m just another self-help book
On your shelf of past experiences.
Like I’m a pass or fail college course
You can take in eight weeks
And forget about in three.
So I cover my scars with a cloak of shame
As they spread down my twisted back.
And I hide my broken tears
In the lyrics I sing to the world.
You sing along,
Calling my suffering, “art” and saying,
“It’s beautiful.”
“I wish I could write like that.”
“It makes me want to cry.”
If you knew what it cost,
To create the art you marvel at,
You’d draw your eyes anywhere else.
The beauty you see
Is the mask worn by the fallen angel of who I am.
If you could write like I write,
You’d cry tears
You could never take back.
I wish you never have to cry the tears
I’ve cried.
And I’d cry them again
If it meant saving you
From it all.
But even then, inside of me,
I feel the rusted inner-turmoil of a Saint who killed his god.
Who can’t get over the death,
Cause it was a senseless pleasure ******
Disguised as a mercy killing.
All else died on that day,
The day his god died.
And I can taste,
The ever-running-tears from the Saint’s face,
As I hold it next to mine,
And I wish he could forget
When his god died.
But then,
I wish you suffered
Like I did-
Honestly,
I wish you suffered worse than I did.
Because I’m tired.
I’m so tired.
Cause every bed is a bed of thin needles.
So I stand and bite down on my hand
So the blood distracts me from my failing heart.
But when I grow tired of even that,
And the blood dries,
I’m left with a swollen, teeth-marked palm
And a heart struggling to even gasp.
Then I remember your worth,
And take back the tar-smeared words I never said to you,
And put out the livid torch with my fingers.
Because I love-
I love you more,
Than I could ever love myself.
Oct 4, 2018
Oct 4, 2018 at 9:17 PM UTC
I don’t want your worship.
I don’t want your devotion.
I don’t want servitude,
Glory,
Or praise.
You know this.
So you whisper synthetic prayers in my ear
And I accept them like I’m God.
But I’m the unknowing sacrifice
You have no right to give.
I’m a chipped star’s shard,
Hurtling from heaven,
Suspended in space,
Just as much as I’m falling.
My destination never arrives
Because condemnation is directionless.
So you hold me in your palm
And worship my beauty when there’s none,
My genius of nothing,
My empty purpose of being,
Because you know it
Better than I ever could.
Oct 3, 2018
Oct 3, 2018 at 12:31 AM UTC
Soothsaying sentences sung
Under moons; shining constellations.
Beyond shallow shores of unsold stories,
Lie sun-soaked shadows;
The sinking sensations of separation.
Stay inside the safety of the stars,
But pray for slow-burning scars.
Sep 5, 2018
Sep 5, 2018 at 4:04 PM UTC