I’ve settled into this
Unaware of what tomorrow holds
Or whether I’m going about this the right way
Unsure of what kind of blessing or devils are around that corner
But I am self-assured
I know who I am
I am a lover
Blindly caressing every part of your being
Defending your very honor
Keeping a closed eye to your faults
Because I don’t see you as you are
But perfectly, as you could be
I am a friend, devoted deeply
To everything you believe in
Affected greatly by every pain you feel
Because I love you
More than friendship
Thick like blood, tight like kin
Firmly grounded
Even when you tell me to “go away”
And even more, when you push me in that direction
And though I cannot tell you your name
I can tell you I love you
Because I have learned to do so
Unconditionally
I cannot explain to you exactly where you went wrong
Nor exactly what touched me that way
And maybe you’ll never hear it
Because up until the final hour
My rage is quiet
And un-noticed
Because you’ve grown used to
Loud drums and thunder
And my rage is more like rain
Quiet, civil, pleading with class
I do not know how to hide my emotions and thoughts from you
Because all I know is honesty
So I tell you exactly how I feel
And try to relay why I feel that way
Because I need to be heard
I will wear my emotions on my face
Because it’s so much more agonizing to hide them
I am human
Don’t I deserve this freedom
I am strong
Strong enough to get past this
Your transgressions and my own
And still love you and still love myself
I cannot tell you your name
Or who you are
But I am trying to give you me
Genuine and loving
Stubborn and unique
I cannot tell you who you are
But I can tell you that I accept you
As whoever you choose to be
The good and the bad
And I can see that for those very same reasons
You have rejected me
And it’s okay
Because I’ve settled into this
Unaware of what tomorrow holds
Or whether I am going about this the right way
But I am self assured
I do not know your name
Or who you are
But I know who I am
Despite you
I am a lover
I am your friend
Honest and free
Accepting of whoever you are
Regardless of what you feel of me
I am real
The best friend you will ever have
The most devoted lover
All untamed
Running free
Capturing you
Even when you say “let me be”
Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 2:14 PM UTC
Topsy turny
Broken
Confused
Empty, shattered, hurt, abused
Love sick
But searching
Broken hearted with a grin
Trying to fix the bruises
With the pleasures of sin
Playing hokey pokey
Jumping in and out
****** up mental
Needy soul
Aching lonely heart
Comparing every savior
To the source of my demise
Trying to find another
That sees me with his eyes
Trying to find another
To hold me in his hand
Shove me in his pocket
Take away my grin
Trying to find another
To treat me like he did
Though everything he gave
Brings me back to here
Broken
Shattered
Lonely
Searching for a dove
Aching for a pleasure
Heard someone call it love
Brushing off the good ones
Causes they’re not like he was
Holding on to hope
While playing blind to just
Being happy
Being free
Sharing in a world
That brings me so much pleasure
Where I am understood
Where I am respected for simply being me
Where I can see me in his eyes
And he sees him in me
Searching for a token
Trying to survive
Trying to escape him
Trying to let him die
See he’s no longer with me
But I feel him deep inside
Saying as long as I’m within you
You’ll never be alive
Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 2:11 PM UTC