natalia-gormangl - Hello Poetry

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere your not happy. So I fall. I rise. I make mistakes. I live. I learn. But I move on, In hopes for the future. For when the joys of life take hold. The pains of the past will seem like a long forgotten dream. So in hopes to keep themselves from worse unneeded pain. One must learn. To step away. And relize. That as it hurts now, Is nothing compared to the pain you escaped from. So as a goodbye. I send this to you. To show you, That there is more out there than what your eyes can see. You just need to move forward to the joys of the future. And forget the painful dream of the past.

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Jun 12, 2016

Jun 12, 2016 at 1:34 AM UTC

natalia-gormangl

Move on

Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere your not happy. So I fall. I rise. I make mistakes. I live. I learn. But I move on, In hopes for the future. For when the joys of life take hold. The pains of the past will seem like a long forgotten dream. So in hopes to keep themselves from worse unneeded pain. One must learn. To step away. And relize. That as it hurts now, Is nothing compared to the pain you escaped from. So as a goodbye. I send this to you. To show you, That there is more out there than what your eyes can see. You just need to move forward to the joys of the future. And forget the painful dream of the past.

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I ask of you, Forgiveness beyond any other For as I stand, Oppon this broken earth I fear of my past Of my present And the future I throw away For I have sinned Red stains my hands ‘Defence is justified’ But is it really? Yes, he sinned first, But do I truly have the right? To take one's life? ‘An eye for an eye’ A life for a life But mine is unfit ***** Sick... It does not hold value In this broken world Where little light escapes So I ask you, As I take the step Am I worthy of forgiveness? I took a life, In order to keep a choice A choice I would of saved for my one and only. But does that choice mean as much as a life? Yes I was scared Yes I was attacked. Yes he sinned first But my crime weighs more So I ask for you to listen And forgive. Not of me. But of him. For I have taken a choice from him. As he was going to do of me. But as he was going to take a choice of body. I took his choice of life. I am filthy Tainted I do not deserve your presence But please. As I give my choice of life In place of his To forgive him. For he was lost And alone. Like we were once So as I take the step into the air I thank you For listening And I hope That one day One will do the same for you As you have done for me So Thank You.

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Jun 2, 2016

Jun 2, 2016 at 12:06 PM UTC

natalia-gormangl

Choices

I ask of you, Forgiveness beyond any other For as I stand, Oppon this broken earth I fear of my past Of my present And the future I throw away For I have sinned Red stains my hands ‘Defence is justified’ But is it really? Yes, he sinned first, But do I truly have the right? To take one's life? ‘An eye for an eye’ A life for a life But mine is unfit ***** Sick... It does not hold value In this broken world Where little light escapes So I ask you, As I take the step Am I worthy of forgiveness? I took a life, In order to keep a choice A choice I would of saved for my one and only. But does that choice mean as much as a life? Yes I was scared Yes I was attacked. Yes he sinned first But my crime weighs more So I ask for you to listen And forgive. Not of me. But of him. For I have taken a choice from him. As he was going to do of me. But as he was going to take a choice of body. I took his choice of life. I am filthy Tainted I do not deserve your presence But please. As I give my choice of life In place of his To forgive him. For he was lost And alone. Like we were once So as I take the step into the air I thank you For listening And I hope That one day One will do the same for you As you have done for me So Thank You.

59

It started with once a week. "Just to calm my nerves" Then twice a week. "Not a big deal." Thrice "I'm fine" Everyday. Twice a day "I'll be ok," you say "I only light up once in a while" Since when dose five times a day equal to once in a while? "Im not like them" you say But you are Running, Hiding, Pushing it all away, Just like them. Then you stoped hiding behind the smoke. You act happy You pretend you're better Fooling some, fooling yourself, but to me your crystal clear. You're far from better You stopped smoking. But what of those marks? Like rivers up your arm. Paranoid you've become "More" is your only care You'll never catch the dragon You're falling Drowning Dying Outside showing your inner dread The hunger is consuming you Hiding it is no longer an option Your mother is a mess, whose all alone Your father, long dead Friends stopped calling So please wake up We need you I need you So please Kick this addiction Tackle your demons Now I'm starting to drown along side of you I miss you, I need you So please Come home I won't judge I just want you whole again Please... Try again Please... Before we both slip away

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Apr 6, 2016

Apr 6, 2016 at 3:58 PM UTC

natalia-gormangl

Come home

It started with once a week. "Just to calm my nerves" Then twice a week. "Not a big deal." Thrice "I'm fine" Everyday. Twice a day "I'll be ok," you say "I only light up once in a while" Since when dose five times a day equal to once in a while? "Im not like them" you say But you are Running, Hiding, Pushing it all away, Just like them. Then you stoped hiding behind the smoke. You act happy You pretend you're better Fooling some, fooling yourself, but to me your crystal clear. You're far from better You stopped smoking. But what of those marks? Like rivers up your arm. Paranoid you've become "More" is your only care You'll never catch the dragon You're falling Drowning Dying Outside showing your inner dread The hunger is consuming you Hiding it is no longer an option Your mother is a mess, whose all alone Your father, long dead Friends stopped calling So please wake up We need you I need you So please Kick this addiction Tackle your demons Now I'm starting to drown along side of you I miss you, I need you So please Come home I won't judge I just want you whole again Please... Try again Please... Before we both slip away

52

The blackness calls to me. On days like this When my heart Beats so irregular within my chest My heartbeat. The pulsing, throbbing… thing... Feels so foreign, sometimes Like it just doesn't belong there Like it doesn't really belong to me Like it's trying to get out And on days like this I begin to understand why My ribs, are a cage And I sink Further into the shadows Where no one sees me. My heart beats, regardless Through the nonsense As I listen. But never speak. For, who would listen? To someone who has the word to say what no other will. But they wouldn't listen even if they knew So I listen, in the shadows. Trying to decipher what ails it now And my mind wanders You see... ...my mind... ...has a mind of its own sometimes... And it wanders, to unknown lands. These places of emotion. Confusion Sadness Content. And my ever favorite; Anger. As I wonder, listening to others. What it'll take, to snap me out of my reverie. I stand here, in the shadows. As my heart beats On days like this... I watch, As others join me in the shadows. All silent voices, Secret beating hearts in cages. With wandering minds. And we listen to the nonsense together. A silent army of fading lives. On a day like this… I understand the anger On a day like this… My heart stops fighting. And another unheard voice fades away. On a day like this… The blackness calls me.

0

Apr 4, 2016

Apr 4, 2016 at 3:30 PM UTC

natalia-gormangl

Silent Hearts

The blackness calls to me. On days like this When my heart Beats so irregular within my chest My heartbeat. The pulsing, throbbing… thing... Feels so foreign, sometimes Like it just doesn't belong there Like it doesn't really belong to me Like it's trying to get out And on days like this I begin to understand why My ribs, are a cage And I sink Further into the shadows Where no one sees me. My heart beats, regardless Through the nonsense As I listen. But never speak. For, who would listen? To someone who has the word to say what no other will. But they wouldn't listen even if they knew So I listen, in the shadows. Trying to decipher what ails it now And my mind wanders You see... ...my mind... ...has a mind of its own sometimes... And it wanders, to unknown lands. These places of emotion. Confusion Sadness Content. And my ever favorite; Anger. As I wonder, listening to others. What it'll take, to snap me out of my reverie. I stand here, in the shadows. As my heart beats On days like this... I watch, As others join me in the shadows. All silent voices, Secret beating hearts in cages. With wandering minds. And we listen to the nonsense together. A silent army of fading lives. On a day like this… I understand the anger On a day like this… My heart stops fighting. And another unheard voice fades away. On a day like this… The blackness calls me.

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