I find myself in chains walking across an open field
Drowning in a sea of my own doubt,
As life whoops me like a newly reformed slave
Systematically ripping me of my pride and high self esteem
Until I'm nothing but a mindless zombie with a soul
My heart shattered unable to comprehend why it was sentenced to die in the most painful way
Why it leaks a substance that resembles that of tar
Screaming in pain and agony as it is shredded for parts
I tried running away but my legs feel like jello
My mind won't function, it's too damaged by the blood infested whip that squeeze the life force out of it
And my soul just watches crying tears of blood,
Weakening every second of everyday as it trembles in disbelief
I want to go home, but there is no home for me to go to
So I just lay there rotting away until my damaged remains turns to dirt and blows away
Jul 29, 2017
Jul 29, 2017 at 12:40 AM UTC
I want them to look beyond my face and my body
I want them to realize that my best is me at 3:37 am, with a notebook in one hand, a pen in the other, and Charles Mingus playing in the background
I want them to see me
I want them to realize that I am naturally soft spoken but my voice is so powerful sometimes that MLK, Maya Angelou, Marcus Garvey, W. E. B. Du Bois, and Malcolm X themselves take turns looking down from heaven in amazement at the fire my belly has produced
I want them to feel me but not in a ****** way because I get tired of people trying to get inside me and not learn the inside of me
I want them to love me
I want them to love me in a way not even myself can love me because self-love is cool and all but admiration is for my ego and as I look around this late at night I realize one tiny confirmation from ten thousand people means so much more than ten thousand tiny confirmations from myself
Why is that?
I want them to understand me
I want them to be able to look at something I create and it touches their soul they way the person beside them cannot
I want them to rejoice in the sweet hallelujahs of connection but I don't want praises for a God-given talent
I want them to be inspired
I want to move them in a way their teachers never could and the way their parents should
I want to teach them
I want to be able to say a line the aligns with the situation that's dwelling in their hearts as they look with glistening eyes waiting for the solution I cannot fully give away to them yet
They must hang on to my every word, following my movements with the sway of their bodies until I tell them the golden word that will spark that change for them
I want them to listen
God, I hope they listen
Because being a black girl in the ghetto with depression no one would listen to cries I often let out
No one would pay attention to the warning signs I would give them
I was told to get over it and it would pass but years have passed and it's still here
I want them to pay attention
To the tone of my voice that indicates my feelings
To the way my eyes dim when darkness is approaching
I need them to be observant for when they come across another person as sad as me they know that depression isn't just a state of mind
It isn't just a trend or something you say for attention
I want them to be aware
I want them to feel
In a generation that takes pride in feeling nothing and destroying everything they touch I want them to hold emotion strong enough to be someone's healing component
I want them to love
Love as if it is the only thing that can keep them from dying
I want them to believe in something bigger than anything they can ever imagine, touch, or feel
I want them to find themselves
I want them to find worth in themselves and not one-night stands, substances, or self-harm
I don't want them to be afraid anymore
I want them to know I'm here
I want them to to be expressive and free
I want them to know I love them
But most of all, I need them to be okay so that I can have hope for myself
Jul 28, 2017
Jul 28, 2017 at 5:17 PM UTC
The morning to day,
Like a gift to make you stay,
I so like this way.
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 7:26 AM UTC
I remember when you were my best friend
Slowly helping me fall into darkness, I sought you
Never alone chilling so comfortably after I met you
Our encounters were brief like my ex honey's
Like honey to a bee I flocked to you frequently
You had this aura I couldn't ignore
Enticing advertisements had me pleading for more
That 'it' like quality I couldn't find anywhere else
You had me
In my time dealing with you, you gave me an ephemeral thrill
Often finding comfort in your disaster-filled solace
Causing shift in inner emotions and outer appearance
You had me
I admit you were addictive and you got the best of me
You took a turn for the worst, evoking feelings I often kept inside
Finding myself screaming and throwing objects at whoever was near me
Often crying in the aftermath of chaos and dysfunction
You temporarily destroyed me
I remember being strapped down, carried away to strange places I could not escape
Coming to terms with harsh realities
You broke me
Discovering a new light that shines
brighter than all the stars only to be dimmed in the presence of others
You caused me to relapse
Your ruined a tiny portion of my life
Causing bad decisions to cope with strife
I found an inner solace on my own and now you're just a memory I cringe at
Thanks, for the two years I can never get back
Jun 25, 2017
Jun 25, 2017 at 7:13 AM UTC
hey, i love you
but i'm afraid you don't feel the same
so i wrote this little note for you
hoping that you'd actually cherish my heart one day
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 6:15 AM UTC
here I am now opening up to you
spilling into you like my diary
filling you with my pages of untold stories
i hope that you are listening
your silence is holding more than curiosity
we rejoice in this during my long pauses of thought
you sometimes let out cries of emotions of a past that wasn't yours
we carry on like this until dawn breaks
i have heard nothing of you
repeat
Jun 22, 2017
Jun 22, 2017 at 6:08 AM UTC
God's foxholes,
pick your poison,
burn burn burn, and
snare, flesh out an idea
and let it take hold. grit
your teeth, strip the bark
or just strip instead.
cherry, rabid, dragonflies
and headlight eyes.
this dream running us
ragged, this glittering
copper and boil before
you burst.
There is a piece of your skin that refuses to burn.
I keep sinking my teeth into it.
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 8:26 PM UTC
He became the very breath that she couldn't chase after as for her... she became the the tale of a lost woman
Together they were bonded
By: Leory Santana Dawn
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 7:54 PM UTC
I have watched love love others and leave me hoping and praying for a way out of darkness when I'm broken
Don't tell me about love
May 13, 2017
May 13, 2017 at 4:44 AM UTC