bathing in the light of the sun,
surrounded by the beauty of the world
by night i'm gazing at the stars
awash in the glow of the moon
and i love my little galaxy
this universe, created from fantasies,
existing solely for me
what god exists that made you all my reality
my sun, my world, my moon and stars
and the planets between, unique and
alive, so alive despite no signs
of yet loving life
if i were a god i'd make it so
that you all fell in love
with life and love and happiness
and they fell for you, too
Sep 21, 2017
Sep 21, 2017 at 1:15 AM UTC
I saw you, far away
In the dreamscape
But I knew you
Our souls touched
Only for a moment
A singularity
Did you see me
Did you feel me
Magnetic attraction
Are you here
In the real
Or just an illusion
I felt you
But I don't know you
Yet I do
Dreams fade like smoke
Yet I still feel you
I still seek you
I search every face
As my heart bleeds
Will I find you
Fantasy grips me
As I wish for sleep
To see you again
Find me in the real
My heart ebbs
Waiting for you
A silver thread connects us
Between two worlds
Reach out for me
Realities collide
Dimensions overlap
If only for a moment
Two burning hearts
Lost in time and space
Seeking true love
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 11:04 PM UTC
Being suicidal doesn't mean i'm going to **** myself
Being suicidal is having this unexplicable ache while you're living
It's waiting for your life to end, and wishing you didn't have to carry on
Having this ache, an incapability to feel happy living, doesn't mean that I am going to **** myself -
It just means I wouldn't mind dying.
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 11:03 PM UTC
lay me beneath the stars
turn my ears to the tide
(and i will never let you go)
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 11:02 PM UTC
I need time to detangle this web of tears,
trapped in turmoil,
entrapped in confusion,
I am a maze runner in solitude,
watching flowers bloom on the other side of the fence,
I see nothing,
but the gravel that binds me within soil,
reaching through cracks I strive,
to see skies of blue
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 11:02 PM UTC
Dear Daddy,
Do you know what these men say to me?
With their
eyes and their mouths
when I walk on the street.
With a grin and a nod
and a look up and down.
A wink and a kiss
and a cat call heard from downtown.
With my skirt short
and my top
low,
It’s a cold world daddy
and no
doesn’t mean no.
Daddy do you know
how these men look at me?
Like I’m a piece of meat
strutting down the street?
With my head buds in
and my favorite song on.
I’m asking for it Daddy,
I’m in the wrong.
Do you know how it feels
not to wear what I like?
To walk a little faster
when I’m alone at night?
Daddy the world is my predator
and I am it's doe,
Daddy what happens
when I can’t say no?
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 10:58 PM UTC
Interrupted my latest terrible nightmare with desire to start this morning with alacrity,
I want to feel alive.
Today was unlike yesterday or the day before that or the day before that…
Unkempt? No. Today, I am not a mess, no matter how much more comfortable I feel to be.
“C’mon” I tell myself, “breathe… 1, 2, 3… breathe.” Here comes anxiety, my best friend.
Always here, it never leaves.
So used to the stoic nature I create for myself when I go out, zero emotions whatsoever for anything, everything.
I think of myself with such animosity, hatred fills my mind.
Vacillating my thoughts, I can’t decide. Do I fight off this “great” friend of mine or do I settle?
Fight off? Can I?
Nice try.
Another fiasco this morning, complete failure. Will it always be this difficult?
I get dizzy. I feel nebulous, so unclear and confused.
Trying to get out of bed, I force myself to feel less maudlin, less emotional for once
Seeing my family in the morning, I seem boorish. Where are my manners?
Succinct conversations, it’s all so brief. “Good Morning” “Hmm…” “You okay?” “Yep.”
I always make them the scapegoat of my self-pity, as if they’re at fault for my mind’s catastrophe.
They probably think that I am never complacent towards them, I don’t try to please them even when it comes to the way they feel… especially that.
One day they might just stop being so kind and it wouldn’t be fortuitous to me, no surprise.
Though I am completely deserving of that, I’d hate for it to happen.
I tend to purposely cause rifts in friendships, I just have to break apart all my friendships.
All these mood swings can become shameful.
Being so adroit with anxiety is shameful, I’ve mastered living life with anxiety and it’s so unhealthy.
It’s the one and only relationship I cannot get rid of.
My best, best friend, anxiety.
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 10:49 PM UTC
You seem to forget you, you seem to forget that yes, you do matter
So oblivious to the way things are, you don’t notice - or care. Please gather
Gather your emotions, stop ignoring all the “silly” little things
Annihilate your fixed mindset, destroy it completely
Instead grow, grow into those ever-changing pretty wings.
One called you rogue, worthless, nothing
That comment polarizing you and the self portrait, there is a split between the two cutting
Cutting self and conflicted perspectives, think, “Who am I”
You seem to be the very reason you’re beleaguered, always troubled
Be the very coercion, your own force to think, “I’m a precious little being, bout’ limits? no sky.”
Don’t you dare tame that voice, opine your thoughts, state those opinions, make that noise
Keep it pithy, the concise powerful words spoken, expressed with poise
Inside you’re innate to having confidence, inborn with self certainty, this life is yours to make
Savoir faire, you know just what to do
Ambition to use, goals set, all the stars above are yours to take
Self love is no fallacy, no ruse, no trick, you’ll see
Decimate the huge stubborn part in mind, **** it and change. Perception is what you set out to be
Say it with me, verbatim, word… for… word… “I am worth it, I am enough, I am beyond it all.”
A growing mind always propitious to molding a lovely life, always in the favor of good desire
Aware that with life comes hidden dangers, had an insight of a terrible pitfall
Today, you are okay. Everyday, you will be better.
“I am worth it, I am enough, I am beyond it all.”
Sep 20, 2017
Sep 20, 2017 at 10:48 PM UTC