its a beautiful serenity
beginnings tend to be
my torture numbed, my landscape free
i felt whole i felt open
no crying, no lying
i am weightless i have room
i can walk, i've left my tomb
i smell, i can be
as time goes on
numbness no longer feels free
this little yellow pill grew legs inside of me
i used these legs to run to deep dark corners inside my being
i thought hiding would end it, no more suffering
i could cry until im aching
i could yell my lungs sore
but i always feel trapped
someone locked the door
ive been here before
this world disrupted
im not sure which is better
the numbness or the sting
May 13, 2014
May 13, 2014 at 3:33 PM UTC
You seem to forever live in my heart,
even if i no longer live in yours
You may not want me to still love you
Dec 5, 2013
Dec 5, 2013 at 8:25 PM UTC
I feel as tho the pain in my body travels up
Seeping out of my throat
Floating into my mouth
I swish the pain like mouth wash
I taste the pain, bitter pain.
But I never mutter a word of pain
It is so close to the outside of me
So close , yet none of you know.
Nov 23, 2013
Nov 23, 2013 at 3:24 PM UTC
I will rot myself to bones,
For this desire burns like fire
this dire need
I mustn't feed
I want to look as I feel inside
someone holding on,
Soon to die
Nov 5, 2013
Nov 5, 2013 at 12:04 AM UTC
So many thoughts
Leading me to an equation I am not yet ready to understand
But I stand
As a being,Confused in my suffering
It's not something that lit the spark,that would eventually burst into flames
My mind cannot be tamed
Leaving my head stripped,I felt raw, I was ripped,to shreds ,nearly dead
So I read,I read,and I read
Anything to stop the self destructive cycle
For the lack of understanding keeps me contemplating,wondering,seeking ,reading
There was no event that lead me to be a certain way
I've been hiding myself away,a place I forced myself to stay,
As I was peeking thru the cave, the one which I kept myself enslaved
I caved, I said **** this cave
There shall be no more slave
I make it sound simple,as if just a ripple,
I do wish it was that simple,
It's part of who I am
This pain, I did not train
Some say there's no gain
I mustn't refrain
I disagree completely
I have grown quite uniquely
I can't control the wiring ,I've tried,it's much to tiring
That's when I found my cave, the one which I've been enslaved
Years in this cave,fears In this cave,tears in this cave,
A world in which i was Being perceived as my exterior , left me brutally decayd
I regained my awkward wiring,
Still , no one knows my interior, not smug, nor a thought that I am superior ,I am mearly interior
I use mearly with great clemency,as if its simplicity
Perceive me as you will
I dress the way I feel
Equations are my thrill,
As my hands are clinging to the edges of my ribs,where I sit perceiving the outside world,
Wondering,
Am I the only one hidin within myself?
Nov 4, 2013
Nov 4, 2013 at 6:16 PM UTC
I'm tired of it all
Being short , not being tall
Sick& depressed
An ever need for rest
Binge, purge, cut , starve
A human shell, pleas don't tell
I'm a girl who needs time
For some piece of mind
It'll take me a while to cough up a smile
Let me sleep ,let me rest
Ill surface my best
You'll be disappointed
I'm broken , no token, no prize, no win
Anxious and stale
I beg you don't tell,
Fatigued and relieved
My tiring shell indeed
Oct 9, 2013
Oct 9, 2013 at 5:14 PM UTC