i have picked up every piece of me
ever since the start
i am all i have
i will guard my heart
and slowly, slowly
i stitch it together
i take the tears i cried
and water the seeds i sow
i tend to pink tulips and tiger lilies
two flowers that sing of courage
and with time and love and care
my heart will sing again.
Mar 5, 2021
Mar 5, 2021 at 6:04 AM UTC
my heart is leaking crimson tears
from where you made your mark
the world would've been so much better
if you'd just taken me apart.
Feb 2, 2021
Feb 2, 2021 at 2:43 PM UTC
i don't think anyone likes to be alone
empty promises of after, after, after
after this is all done
after the world stops falling apart
after the bodies are set on fire
one lonely mourner per funeral
i mourn for the time we lose
the year of sitting
the year of watching
and waiting
and nothing
we are on pause while the world keeps turning
and it hurts
it hurts
it hurts.
Feb 2, 2021
Feb 2, 2021 at 2:33 PM UTC
is this my last picture?
my last text?
my last song?
please remember me by my love.
the outside is terrifying
now that i have something to live for
if i die we will have never met
i will never fulfill my promises
that i make to you every night.
i've never believed in god
but sometimes i pray to someone
anyone
that i will live another day
another year
live my life through until i am old
and satisfied
with the one i love.
Sep 9, 2020
Sep 9, 2020 at 6:21 PM UTC
fetch me out the garbage
easy catch, easy prey
take me home with you
so you can get your way
you make me hungry
i want more
your touch makes me ecstatic
but then you closed the door
litter my body with disgust
you may throw me away
i love you too much
to see you another day
infect me with your disease
til it rots me to the core
abandon my corpse until
you take the punishment i bore.
Mar 4, 2019
Mar 4, 2019 at 12:14 PM UTC
shame holds no place
in the void of heartbreak
give me something
to distract from my emotions
disgust may shine in your eyes
for i have gone astray
stain my purity with your affection
until it has finally gone away
give me money, give me love
ask me to do things just for fun
keep my eyes away from him
i won't let my mistakes happen again.
Feb 19, 2019
Feb 19, 2019 at 3:18 AM UTC
she posts pictures
of words she echoes
for everything she feels
has already been said
she invests her feelings
into a quiet site
to repeat the phrases she finds
with fake deep meanings
but genuine emotions.
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 11:04 PM UTC
pure white feathers
dropped by a precious angel's wings
i liked to collect them
and put them with my other things
but one day when i rose
there seemed to be another king
for the feathers had turned red
and the angels were held up by strings
thus the world had fallen
the devil himself sings
for purity exists no more
blood tinted feathers satan brings.
Feb 5, 2019
Feb 5, 2019 at 12:33 PM UTC
im trapped behind a one-way mirror. the outside can't see me; i don't exist to anyone besides myself, but i can see outside. i can see reality and look at my surroundings and the blinding white all around and wonder why i can't be like everyone else. gravity has deemed me unworthy for its grasp, and i float throughout my padded cell, fingers scrambling to grasp onto the slick glass of the mirror i long to shatter. and so, i float away, unbound by reality and life.
i'm deteriorating. my cage feels as if its shrinking. i'm running out of time, but i don't know what for. i'm running away from what i owe the world, but what i owe specifically is unclear. yet, the feeling of looming dread continues, stirring cauldrons of anxiety in my chest. where i was once a blooming flower, i am rotting, i am decomposing into a mess of hollow bones and aching tears and i can't stop my heart from shrinking until it melts away.
i feel a longing for things i cannot have, for hearts with other loves and for people i cannot touch. i romanticize ideas rather than act them out; i bring nothing but delusion to the table. the moment i have i no longer want, and thus the toxic cycle continues. i wish to be broken, to be hurt and stabbed, for i am an emotional ********* and i want nothing but for someone to throw me away while i am still reaching for their hand. pound blooming bruises into my chest with your rejection, because, dear sir, it's what i like best.
i am a robot. i am only apathetic or hurting.
i wish to power off.
Jan 19, 2019
Jan 19, 2019 at 10:12 PM UTC
simpering sweet words of pain
lace my muscles
with extravagant agony
don't speak to me so harshly, love
it hurts far too much
wrap blades around my heart
make me ***** blood
onto the bathroom floor
you're everything i wished for
maybe even more
curse my eyes with neverending tears
and give me a leash of thorns
**** my spirit
**** my love
with you i have become addicted
to the toxic elements of life.
Jan 17, 2019
Jan 17, 2019 at 11:04 PM UTC