it's been too long
since I've sat here like this writing
and feeling
untangling the knots of my emotions
they get so complex sometimes
I feel lost
and defeated
drowning beneath all the ********
it's been too long
since I've sat here like this
no other stimuli besides music and ideas
exploring my inner world
it can get so complex sometimes
I feel overwhelmed
don't even know myself
drowning beneath the misinformation
I am not
this sadness
I am not
this happiness
I am not even
this neutrality
I am nothing.
I am something far better
call it
Adaptability
Sep 11, 2022
Sep 11, 2022 at 12:19 PM UTC
I'm so tired and done with pretending I'm fine
so just for tonight
I'm taking off my mask
and I'm gonna be weak
I'm worn out
I'm beat
my fighting spirit has left
I can't even speak
All I can do is poison myself
stare at the moon
and wish for some peace
I need a forest to wander
I need to get lost in some trees
I need you to forget me so I won't feel so guilty
if I choose eternal sleep
Sep 26, 2014
Sep 26, 2014 at 4:42 AM UTC
This is for the lonely people
who carry so much pain
but still wear a smile on their face
clinging to hope desperately
believing that one day everything will change
This is for those who have given their soul to someone
only to have it thrown back in their face
yet they still have the courage to believe in love
This is for the broken ones
who carefully pick up each shard of themselves
eyes filled with tears
and hands dripping blood from where each piece cut them
in the process
This is for the ones who conjured the strength
to put the puzzle of themselves back together
filling in the cracks and missing spots with melted gold
becoming more beautiful than an intact person could ever be
Blessed are we who understand pain so well
because it teaches us to cherish our joy more than most
Sep 19, 2014
Sep 19, 2014 at 2:51 PM UTC
How do you let go
of the one you love the most?
That's irrational
You hurt me so much
but my feelings never change
That's irrational
A poison to me
yet the only cure I find
******* paradox
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 25, 2014 at 8:42 PM UTC
A single earring
A pair of shoes
A heart full of poems
All about you
Confused party girl
what should I do?
A dream we dreamt
torn in two
you said it wasn't me
it was you
A modest wedding
A simple living
A gallery of art
All about the love you've given me
Plagued with other emotions now
Hate
Pain
Forgiveness
How to change
the wickedness of my ways
So what went wrong?
Why did you run away
even when I fought so hard
just to get you to stay
You threw it down the drain
just so you could go off
play some games
Could you understand my pain?
Why did we talk about a future
if you didn't want it anyways?
Are you really that cold a person
when your skin was so warm?
Was all that crying in my arms simply a farce?
Do I really want to know the answers to these questions?
All I know right now is that it feels like I've lost my heaven
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 25, 2014 at 8:31 PM UTC
Eat
Chase money
****
Eat
Go home
Eat
Breed
****
Sleep
Dream (if you're lucky)
REPEAT
Is this humanity?
It make me want to scream
the endless routine
just ain't for me
there's only one answer that I seek
Death
must be
the only freedom
Jun 25, 2014
Jun 25, 2014 at 8:21 PM UTC
I wonder what would happen if I told you that I miss you
that I love you
life seems only hard all because you
are so ****** and apparently just confused
would that be fair for me to say
and accept as simply the truth?
Maybe it's just because I'm a fool
but I think I played a part in the downfall too
so I'll gladly take some blame
and I know it might not mean much to say it
but I'm sorry I couldn't be better babe
I'm sorry neither of us could be saved
and that it had to end this way
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 3:25 PM UTC
As it begins it always ends
remember be grateful
living while also dead
what a paradox we struggle in
we want the heavens
but
we also want the sin
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 3:21 PM UTC
I believe in love
but I don't think it's for me
it comes and goes just like a dream
strong at first but quickly fades away for most it seems
Whatever happened to forever?
Never giving up?
My generation is a ******* paradox
we're kinda cool
but we really ****
"instant satisfaction please, and remember not to give a **** yolo, drown yourself in alcohol and have a side of drugs, keep on raging till your numb"
Jun 14, 2014
Jun 14, 2014 at 3:19 PM UTC
She sat at the bus-stop
waiting for me
her goal was set
not to let me free
I knew not who she was
just another person to me
I knew not that gruesome fact of why she was really here
though I wondered why she gazed at me with such piercing stare
To think I thought I would be going home
what a stupid thought to be said
because instead she would follow me and take my soul
it was my time
as soon it will be yours
and theirs
and soon you too will see this mysterious lady
this lady is Death as you may have figured out
and now
it's time for me to go
May 19, 2014
May 19, 2014 at 9:01 PM UTC