maybe you weren't my first
and that's okay because i wasn't yours either
but
i'll do whatever it takes
no matter how long it takes
to be your last forever
Aug 18, 2017
Aug 18, 2017 at 1:46 AM UTC
I watched as the rain pooled in the wells of your cheeks,
The shadows fought for dominance between the cracks in your teeth.
I watched as the light left your eyes,
Your wandering soul pulling its way out of them.
I watched as your breath fought to make your chest rise again,
Hammering its way up and down, like a jackhammer on a mission.
I’m sorry that I saw stars in your eyes,
And I fell for you, yet I wasn’t there when the light left.
I’m sorry I saw flowers within your heart,
And I picked a few, but I wasn’t there to pick you up when you fell.
I’m sorry I heard birds sing each time you took a breath,
And I held a few of those birds, but I never let go and you suffocated.
I’m sorry that I fell in love with your smile,
But I got nervous and left to quickly.
I’m sorry, I’m sorry for loving you,
Because regardless of the nights we spent smiling,
I left and you fell apart.
And lastly I’m sorry,
I’m sorry I never told you I was falling apart too
Feb 12, 2017
Feb 12, 2017 at 3:08 AM UTC
You'll try to pull your heart back together like a piece of art that you got rid of,
And he will kiss you,
Kiss you like he isn't the one holding a gun to your neck whispering the sweet words,
Do it.
And you'll be so happy because you're no longer fighting for him,
But within the weeks your heart will once again feel like he took an iron and placed it there
Telling you,
Here. Hold this for me.
You'll see him around, probably with another girl,
And you'll ache because she's "prettier" then you.
And your friends will do anything to distract you,
Some of them might even say you're better off,
But you'll feel like you're about to throw up at the thought of that.
Because you're holding so tightly to your heart because you feel it might fall out of your chest if you let go.
You’ll hold the duvet over your head,
Afraid of what you might see if you let it go.
Afraid he might be gone again.
And he'll come back, telling you the wonderful words,
I still love you.
And you'll break at the thought of him leaving again.
But you'll give him your heart wholeheartedly because you love him.
But he doesn't,
Soon you'll realize the game being played,
But you won't care.
It'll come to you late at night sometimes,
The nights when he's "loving" someone else.
And it will hurt like hell,
And you’ll claim that you’re done
And one day you will be
But as of now you haven’t been.
But I’ve always been one to surprise people.
Sep 7, 2016
Sep 7, 2016 at 12:10 PM UTC
One of the most sincere forms of respect is actually listening to what the other person has to say.
Mar 22, 2016
Mar 22, 2016 at 9:46 AM UTC
Welcome to a girl.
A girl who built a city,
Raised it up in her own hands
Held it out to me.
Showed me her work.
Then crumpled it in her palms,
Like puddy in her hands.
She told me to help her make it real.
I thought it was.
But I guess city's don’t crumble
The way my walls did when the tone of her voice changed.
She got louder and my walls fell apart like sand.
Little did I know,
Her broken city
Held an army.
A army that you can’t hide from.
You have to meet it head on.
Or, it kills you.
Or at least that's what I thought.
But her army emerged,
And pushed, and molded the city
Until it was perfect again.
She held a city in her palms.
Showed me it again.
This time,
I held her fingers back.
Her city had cracks running deep.
Canyons that weren’t in it before had now shown up.
Showing a beating heart under it.
It was her heart.
She crumpled her city,
So her heart would be hidden.
But once the army showed up,
It showed her heart once more.
The army helps her regain her humanity.
Jan 19, 2016
Jan 19, 2016 at 11:37 AM UTC
I’m screaming at the whispers of you
To shut up.
Asking them to just let me believe I’m happy.
Because if I can’t convince myself
How can I convince you?
Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 11:14 AM UTC
You and your smile that made me fall.
You pretending that you don't care at all.
You killing me slowly, straight to the core.
You stripping me of my self-worth and throwing it to the floor.
You and your lies, of love and forever.
You and your promises of always being together.
You and her, unable to escape my brain.
You knowing that my only relief is found in a blade.
You holding me as I cry into your arms.
You promising me I will come to no harm.
You whispering those three words I long to hear.
You whispering "God, I love you My Dear".
Dec 10, 2015
Dec 10, 2015 at 11:43 AM UTC
Heart in embraces of a platonic love is the most highest form of
affection we share with another person.
It is because one will jump into the fire for his love,
knowing that the only kiss he'll get may be a kiss of death.
Dec 3, 2015
Dec 3, 2015 at 3:09 PM UTC
I loved with a passion in my soul,
The kind of love you find
Coming from an alcoholic with a fine bottle of brandy.
It was toxic.
They say I was out of control,
I say blame it on love.
After all this time
I’m still holding onto rundown excuses.
Trying to chase away the blues,
With a baseball bat,
Engraved with the words.
Go Away
I’ve found myself wandering down every empty street
Hoping one of them would lead me back to myself.
Then before realizing you can’t find yourself
Within a pothole stricken road
Without catching a cold.
I caught a cold.
And the cold I caught was wretched.
Only cured by a carton of Ben and Jerrys
And a long night
That night was the longest.
It was one of the nights were it felt
Like a hand with arthritis was clutching your heart.
I found myself downing any bottle of anything,
And finding nothing.
Then I found myself questioning
The nothing I was finding.
I found myself second guessing,
Every breath I took.
Like my lungs were the problem.
But honestly,
I’m gonna blame love,
And I’m gonna be blaming it hard.
And I’ll use every rundown excuse in the book,
If it helps me find something.
Something to hold onto
Just so I get through the night.
I will use every rundown excuse in the book,
To find substance in the nothing I’ve been finding.
Because within this nothing,
There must be something.
Because nothing is something,
And something is not nothing.
So here's to me and my rundown excuses
The excuses I use when I need something.
But can’t find anything.
Nov 23, 2015
Nov 23, 2015 at 2:30 PM UTC