I feel the tears behind my eyes.
Not daring to come forward
to let my own emotions win.
I feel the brick im my throught so i just stop talking.
No one notices if you just stay quiet.
I feel my body
How it wants to curl into a ball a lay on the floor.
But I stay still.. I stay straight.
I feel myself going numb.
But only one the outside.
I feel another piece of my heart breaking.
I feel the panic when my chest starts to move to fast, like I just ran 15 miles.
I feel to mutch but show nothing.
I don't let my emotions win..
When even I know that is a bad thing
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 10:31 PM UTC
I was never afraid of the dark
Until I saw you in it
Standing there
Just staring
I knew what that meant
I stayed quiet
Faked my sleep
In hopes you would walk away
But you never did
You stood there
Wanting
Waiting
While your breath
Gave away exactly what you wanted
Silent tears fell down my face
As I unwillingly followed each step you took
I knew what was coming
And I was too young to stop it
I’m not sorry anymore
Because I’m not the same little kid
Who looked up
To a “man”
Who called every action
“Love”
May 17
May 17, 2026 at 10:14 PM UTC
I’ve been dead only an hour
No ones noticed
No one cares to wonder
Where i went
or where i’ve been
Smiles and laughter fill my absence
If i was there
Would they be silent
Would they hold back the words they want to say
Maybe I’ve been dead for more than an hour
Because thats how it feels
Im alone
And no one knows
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 9:51 PM UTC
You tell me im fine
Day in and day out
So why am I still bleeding
And why don’t you care
Just look at me
Like you once did
So I can feel seen
For the suffering i’ve endured
For the pain i bleed
Look at me
Just once
Acknowledge my existence
So i know im real
And its all for something
Look at me
And tell me
Im not ok
I need help
I need you.
I sit here
Wondering if im good enough
While the metallic sap falls from my side
Would you care if you knew
What your absence carved
Into my brain
Into my skin
Into my heart
A part of me might never forgive you
But the other part
She will forever love you
Because she doesn't know
What all you've done to us
I wish you the best dad
But please
Don't try to come back this time
May 16
May 16, 2026 at 9:20 PM UTC
December 1st 2025
I texted them at 11:43
And I woke up at 1:07
You graced me with your bitterly sweet presence
But you did not embrace me
I miss the warmth
Of knowing I won’t need to stress
About the smallest things
That seem so large
I miss the quiet
That came after the pain
When all I wanted to do was leave
I miss knowing
I won’t need to deal
With the people who say
It’s all in my head
Next time I won’t text them
I’ll write a small note
For anyone who cares
And hide it under a pillow
Just incase it fails
But I’ll make sure it won’t
Because I can’t handle it anymore
So goodbye and farewell
I hope to see you all again
But not at the bottom of this horrible hell
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 7:51 PM UTC
I’ve done every workout
I’ve tried every diet
I’ve done everything I know how
So why do I still feel like this
Like I’m not enough
Or like I’m to much
I’m not the me I used to be
I wear baggy clothes
And show close to no skin
I eat a little less
And work a little more
I’m not happy
No matter what I do
But you think I am
Because I can’t have you worrying again
So I’ll hide how I really feel
For a few more days
Until there’s only one thing left to prove
And only one way to do it
You’ll lose your daughter
Or maybe your “happiest” friend
Just like I lost myself
I will be no more
No more sadness
No more “happiness”
Just silence
The thing I had fought hard for
And the thing I will soon die for
I hope you see me when I’m gone
So you’ll remember
Just how late you were
Mar 30
Mar 30, 2026 at 5:24 PM UTC
I think about you
From time to time
When it’s silent
And all I want to do is cry
Your voice plays in my mind
Telling me how much you care
And that you’ll love me forever
But what is love
In the eyes of a monster
I know you weren't lying
When you said you cared
And that you’ll always be there
But all I heard was my father
So I didn’t trust you to stay
And I left hurting us both
I see now that my decisions paid off
Because we weren't the right fit
Two different pieces
In two different puzzles
You said you didn’t like my music
And that should have said enough
Because I bleed through my music
So you were saying
You didn’t like me
I miss you
Before you knew who I really was
I think that's when you actually loved me
Mar 29
Mar 29, 2026 at 10:12 PM UTC
I’ll reminisce
On what we once had
All the good
And all the bad
It’s been a year
And we’re friends again
I don’t miss being your girlfriend
Cause we were never meant to be
But I hope you understand
I never meant to hurt you
I don’t know if I really hurt you
Because you never told me
Exactly what I did
Mar 27
Mar 27, 2026 at 9:17 PM UTC
Cycles
We’re all trapped in one
Some stuck in that burning house
Getting out just to set the next one ablaze again
Because that's all they ever knew growing up
Others stuck in the cycle of growing up
Wake up
Go to school
Do extra curricular activities
Go home and do more work
Eat
Go to bed late
And restart in the morning
The circle of life is a cycle as well
Predators eat the pray
And the pray become the predators
Why
Why are we taught to follow a god who forces love to live eternally
The predators and the pray
This time we’re the pray
To this unloving god
Another cycle
Fear him
Follow him
Forget him
But hold on
This where it gets messed up
He claims to love us all
But he’ll take away what we love most
Because we forgot him or chose our freedom instead
We run back because we know he won’t stop
But we can stop this cycle
And break these chains
Don’t fall for his jealousy
Just live freely
Without the fear
Or the false love
Mar 25
Mar 25, 2026 at 9:14 PM UTC
We’ll dance
Consumed in the flames
We ignited
And wonder why we are hurting
We wanted to work
And we fought hard for it
But in the end
It all went up in flames
You question why
And I wonder why
Why did I let myself get burnt
Time after time
Why did I fool myself
Into thinking you cared
About what I thought
And how I felt
We were in it together
But I left
And took this fire with me
As it starts a wildfire
And hurts those around me
I don’t want to hurt you guys
I’d rather die in this inferno alone
If that meant the people around me
The ones I know
And the ones I don’t
Stay away from this aching blase
That I’m trapped in
I hope I don’t hurt you too
You’re too young
Yet I take it out on you
And I’m sorry
I hope one day you’ll forgive me
My youngest sibling
You don’t deserve to feel the same pain
You’re only 4
Mar 25
Mar 25, 2026 at 8:55 PM UTC