The first night I stayed under the stars at your house,
I tossed and turned until finally I woke you with
Soft kisses over your bare shoulders and on your chest
Just above your heart.
After stirring out of your slumber, your lips brushed mine
And the crook of your arm fit perfectly around
My body as you held me close.
One of us just barely awake, the other wide.
Learning to sleep with someone new takes time;
Discovering the way their chest rises and falls
Like the tide comes up to kiss the sand
Before receding back and pushing forward again.
Listening to their deep breaths as they lay
Almost lifeless on their back,
Matching their breaths to heartbeats beneath your cheek.
The way they stir in the sleep and reposition
Themselves so their arm holds you safe and secure
Even when they’re dreaming.
May 20, 2016
May 20, 2016 at 9:39 AM UTC
To be honest I found you
years ago
but for some reason there's still the thought
Am I what you want?
From that first Hi
there's always been something about
you.
The way you handle yourself just puts me in a daze.
I tried to put up a wall
to erase you from my brain
yet somehow
somehow you managed to find your way back in to my heart
year after year
its always been the same
you make me wonder
if what we have will last
or if what we have will end at the drop of a hat.
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 1:42 PM UTC
Even if there was a hundred different things just ripping you a part
Id be the magnet to pull you back together
I'd be the light at the end of your tunnel
just dragging you forth so you could make it
Make it to see that at the end of the tunnel
there is something worth seeing
I want to be there at the end and I want you to be able to tell me of the demons that have tucked you in night after night
I want to be there to show you that those demons don't have to tuck you in night after night.
I want to fill that void in your heart
I want to be the one that tucks you in instead
of those demons
those demons that make you wonder
why your heart wont stop beating.
May 14, 2015
May 14, 2015 at 1:29 PM UTC
Dear Heart, I will hold on to you because I never want to let you go.
Dear Misleading Thoughts, **** off you mad man.
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 11:39 AM UTC
I saw it coming a mile away.
I knew it wouldn’t end well,
But I didn’t bother avoiding the wreck.
I only stood in shock,
Engulfed by euphoria,
Feeling as light as a feather.
I was flying
In a warm sunny sky.
And then bam!
Ringing.
Discombobulation.
Searing pain.
And in an instant I felt like I was dying.
Of course I didn’t.
Even after these long months,
My wounds have not fully healed.
And even when they do,
I will be scarred.
This is love.
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 8:55 AM UTC
I am discovering what it means
To be who I am.
Who I am,
Unapologetically.
I am discovering what it means
To feel truly alive
Without the weight of the world
To drown me.
I am discovering the feeling
Of no longer missing those who are gone.
To not feel the burden of longing,
In my bones.
It has been immensely hard to forget.
Their images embedded in me,
I've felt small for a long time.
A long time.
You move on,
But something stays.
Now I am living presently,
And doing something with myself.
And for once,
I am not afraid of missing you.
Any of you.
Your thought has been a terrible burden.
You've made me believe I cannot be happy
Until I find another you.
Or even worse,
That I never will.
Because I was not good enough.
And I will only ever continue to never be good enough,
For anyone I choose to love.
Because that is Who I am
Not Enough.
I must imagine,
Anyone who has experienced a true breakup
Has felt this inferiority within themselves.
But God, I am alive.
With my soul,
I know my purpose is to love.
And to continue to love.
I will remember,
That we all have flaws.
I may not be flawless,
But I am human.
And as every human is,
I am doing my best.
I am working hard, working hard to be a lovely human being,
Despite my flaws.
And so with love in my heart,
A pure will in my soul,
With a dire will to make my mark in life,
I am here. Today.
Unapologetically.
And this love, My love,
Is enough.
For it is all my soul, and all of my passion.
It is my strength, and my breath.
It is my literal life energy, in every cell of my being and it reminds me that I am alive.
This love puts the stars in my sky.
My love makes my world a magical place.
And I know,
I am not alone.
If my love is worth anything,
Then others will be invigorated
By my soul's burning light.
Through love, and generosity.
Patience, and understanding.
Through compromise, and forgiveness.
Others will know of my love.
In life, despite my flaws and my blemishes,
I choose love.
For it is in beautiful, innocent, and pure love that I know.
I am enough.
And I will not be weighed down,
By my past.
I am enough,
Because I chose love.
May 13, 2015
May 13, 2015 at 8:51 AM UTC
I sit here waiting
Waiting for all meaningless words
you try so hard to string together
To actually mean something
For all I care this poem could combust
and the only tears I would shed would be of Joy
This assignment is the ****** of English Class
If I wanted to talk about my feelings
I’d pay pay someone to listen to me whine
This is ofcourse not my cup of tea
It’s a cup of poison
sliding down my throat and pulsing through my veins
Writing used to be my sunburn
The fuel that lit my fire
Now I just want to set fire to all my English assignments
English Teachers give us these squares with smaller squares with words
Oh follow this or you’ll fail
Yes college is great... if you decide to go
Everyone is different
You stump our creative flow
with these squares with words
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 1:50 PM UTC
Its easy to rant out loud
about how school ***** and how
I stubbed my toe last night
But the thing is...
I don’t think I’ll ever be able to write about my feelings
Ill never be able to express how it felt to lose a loved one
Or how I always am wondering when justice and equality will take a stand
in this ****** up world.
I don’t see myself as the type to just sit and write
Write about things that seem to be important and leaving myself there to wonder
Who am I to stand in front of people whose words and feelings can just spill out onto paper
as if they were throwing up their beautiful thoughts
I want to be able to throw up those beautiful things on paper
that can steal away your attention in a split second.
Here I stand in front of a room filled with people but to me its just an empty room
maybe if I just close my eyes I’ll see the stars
that seem to keep the moon company every single night
and maybe they’ll keep me company
as I spill out these thoughts that make me crazy in my own little world that is my head.
I wish you could understand
that I fear and tremble in terror
Truth be told
Id rather die then try to explain these words
these words that I seem to
jumble up and can't seem to pronounce right
I have so much to say
and yet some how I can't find the way.
why is it so hard
so hard for you to see that these words that I'm trying to say actually mean something
that I actually mean something
you just sit there and stare
with that blank wide eyed look on your face
I just can’t understand what it is
what it truly is that you want from me
Some how all my words lead back to you
just constantly trying to please
you.
I know these words won’t hit you like they hit me
but one day
maybe just one day they will.
May 12, 2015
May 12, 2015 at 1:47 PM UTC