I was merely a speck of vitality
When I observed you all helpless inside a chanted yet broken record
Of conventionality rather than equality
Your ignorance, something I will never be able to afford
Perhaps I attempted to create my own forked tongue,
Succumbing to the toxicity of your belief that love cannot be reciprocated between
a certain two, who,
Despite your concern about the somatic,
Still fight to choose what makes them ecstatic
In fact you are in no place to voice such a strident stance,
When you do not have the slightest familiarity in the feeling of home being brought straight into your hands,
The feeling no type of discouragement could ever destroy:
Home as if it were after years and years away among the people of Troy
In some nights I could feel the loud beating of my heart so erratic,
And in some I found time seemed to stretch on longer than I would favour
But all I had to do was look into her eyes which were beyond cinematic
To be reminded of why these were the moments I would later most savour
I found it within my nature to stick the
debris that was a product of your odium
Into the the depths of my being, even beside my need for sodium
As a result I have outgrown multiple layers of skin,
After which my metamorphosis will begin
And at once without any resistance, I took flight towards the sky,
Because they often said the sky is the limit, I wondered why
And as I escaped into the realm of the pleasant unknown,
I had made the decision that this was the only measure of contentment I was to condone
Finally
Finally
Finally
I am free and most importantly, I am me
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 10:16 PM UTC
everyday nostalgia sits comfortably on my chest
as i ponder upon certain details of my past:
the wholesome sound of the combination of the
laughter of my family members one christmas evening,
and the pool of honey that is my best friend's eye illuminated
by the light of a fire during that one winter night, and the
smell of dandelions on the verge of dying last spring
while walking home from school
most especially, there are memories that have way too
much power over me which are more general and less
focused on details: the one time i stole 2 books from the
book store with my friend because there was no way i’d
spend $60 on them, and the one time i watched a concert
with my friends front-row for free in the summer and
being so happy we couldn’t believe it was free, and the
many times my friends and i took an unfamiliar bus all
the way down to the last stop because i wanna get lost
so badly
and as my mind presses playback on these memories,
i sit and try to decide how to feel, because whether
good or bad, a memory is a memory and i am
given no choice but to reminisce
ultimately it’s a reminder that i’m not in full control
of my life, because i can’t be the audience and the
actor at the same time
i wish i could relive these memories — but i’ve learned
there is a good reason i can’t
because it is also a reminder that i'm growing, that i'm
not the same person i used to be yesterday, that everyday i'm learning new ways to live with what i have and what i am
most of all, it's a reminder that i'm alive
i may not be in control of what's behind me, but i am
in control of what's in front of me, and it's my choice
whether there is something beyond
we are not given the opportunity to relive certain
memories but we are given the privilege to make
new ones
and although we are stuck in this same old routine of
making memories and looking back at them once it’s
all over, it’s the peak of what being human is
it’s proof that we are making the right choices and
spending our days the right way, so much so that we
want to relive them
it’s a paradox, but i believe it’s life’s way to let us
know everything we do is worthwhile
and being able to relive something more than once
will lose its value and meaning
granted, all memories are probably glossed over
and fabricated in ways that we want to remember
them, but it keeps us wanting more — it keeps us alive
Jan 5, 2019
Jan 5, 2019 at 9:48 AM UTC